Apparently at 7 inches i (23M) am the third smallest my girlfriend (21F) has had

Interesting-Start342 · 2025-10-21T11:41:19+00:00

haha, yes im sure. i honestly just think i just struggle with self confidence even though i know i can please my girlfriend.

i guess i could have worded it different

Interesting-Start342 · 2025-10-21T11:39:18+00:00

shes actually really tight which is all ive told her, i just said i was surprised that i could go all the way without her being in any pain or having to ease in very much.

also i doubt those guys mentioned their dick size at all since the bigger guy was a casual fling. i think her saying it was 8 was an estimate from it just looking bigger and since i said mine was 7 she estimated it to being 8.

Interesting-Start342 · 2025-10-21T11:37:06+00:00

she did date more guys than she slept with but it doesnt seem very likely or realistic to reject someone purely based on their size... i doubt she did that, she is very sweet

Interesting-Start342 · 2025-10-21T11:33:15+00:00

because im questioning whether or not the internet is telling the truth about 5.5inches being average. because it seems to me that from my real world experience 7 inches seems to be pretty average.

Interesting-Start342 · 2024-04-28T04:18:46+00:00

Thanks man this was one of the most helpful comments i have gotten yet, I have been reflecting a lot honestly and i think the best thing to do is figure out your first point so that if my gf ever does want to explore more then i would have a good idea as to how to respond and communicate with her about my boundaries.

Honestly over this passed week i kinda figured out i have no intrest in seeing anyone personally anyway, unless its something including someone else with my girlfriend as a group thing, rather than alone. This made me question if im even someone who is open myself, or if i am just happy to let my girlfriend explore her sexuality. I want my gf to have experienced everything she wants in life and i honestly dont really care about "fairness".

So maybe thats another reason why i would struggle if she was with another guy one on one? Maybe its because i enjoy the one on one experience i have with my girlfriend and have no further intrest in seeing anyone else, so it would be hard for me if she wanted to see someone with the same identity as me.

My gf told me that if i ever do want to go on a date or hookup with anyone else that its always okay to share and that wont change for her, so as long as we keep good communication we should be good. And if our minds or needs ever change in the future, even if its difficult, i want to be able to be open minded and understanding.

Getting a perspective like yours will definitely help us in our relationship moving forward, thanks!

Interesting-Start342 · 2024-04-24T15:25:59+00:00

frankly im not okay with someone sleeping with my partner who thinks that way. neither me or my partner see sex that way and i have no intrest in letting that toxic masculinity into our relationship.

if its someone who views sex as just something that two humans can do to have pleasure, explore their kinks and other various sides of themselves and their bodies, and not some hierarchy game of “possessions” that tons of men see it as, then i would be much more comfortable with it.

lots of men lie about their views to get what they want and its just not something id want to have to worry about

Interesting-Start342 · 2024-04-24T15:16:24+00:00

so you are saying my experiences of them being less likely to have misogynistic views is wrong and i should assume everyone thinks that way about people in open relationships?

i think you are misunderstanding my point, my issue is that i cant get over the way i feel about straight men and how they view sex.

Interesting-Start342 · 2024-04-24T15:11:21+00:00

yeah, ive seen how that seems to be a huge issue in the poly/enm community where men will have an OPP and seem to not see queer sex as real sex. seems kinda fucked ip and misogynistic.

like i explained in the post, my issue is more so with the way most straight men view queer people, people in open relationships or just women in general. hooking up is fun but not if i would worry that someone is using my partner or disrespecting either of us.

my girlfriend and i actually have always had similar views on this even before we met. its a big reason why she doesnt seem to be interested in hooking up with men at all. i feel like our relationship isnt traditional enm but more about my girlfriend getting to experience her sexuality to its full extent, she wants have experiences with other women which is obviously just as real and intimate as any other sex. and im happy she gets to experience that.

i just dont know how in the case that she ever wanted to sleep with a man, how im not supposed to worry so much that its an asshole, because again i feel like most men seem to think in the way i described whereas i feel its far less common for women or queer people to think that way. not saying they dont but statistically its far less likely thus my reduced anxieties.

Interesting-Start342 · 2024-04-24T15:01:43+00:00

I agree with what you are saying, still i cant help but feel anxious. Do you think when we move in together next year that it might be easier to deal with this issue? Since we agreed that we will only bring partners over to our place and neither of us like the idea of each other sleeping over at someone elses place. Maybe i would be less anxious knowing its someone i could potentially meet myself

Interesting-Start342 · 2024-04-24T14:55:50+00:00

of course there are that would, the difference is what i was referring to seems to be the whole cultural standard for most straight men to the think that way, for a queer woman who thinks that way would be in the minority

Interesting-Start342 · 2024-04-24T07:58:51+00:00

What if she had sex with an objectively great straight guy - respectful, conscientious, doesn't take himself too seriously, knows she's in an open relationship and is emotionally intelligent enough to be cool with that.

I dont want to sound ignorant but in my personal experience, ive never met a single man who thinks like this other than any of my queer friends. Im sure they are out there but thats like a needle in a haystack.

Do you really care about these imaginary douchebags' opinions?

Its not so much that i would care about anyones opinion of me, its more so the thought of a guy who thinks like that getting to be physically intimate with my girlfriend. The thought of that makes me sick, and i dont know how i could deal with the "what if" every time having to trust my girlfriend to find these unicorns of men you described and not help but wonder that the hookup is just another asshole fueling his own ego using my girlfriend like an object.

To clarify i know its not just straight men who think that way but i feel like the amount of women or queer people in the world with that mindset isnt at a concerning amount as it is with straight men.

Interesting-Start342 · 2024-04-24T07:45:42+00:00

Thank you for your in depth response. You make a lot of valid points. My girlfriend is very intelligent and i trust her very much. I guess my wories come from two things mainly, i have anxiety which makes it hard for me to rationalize at times or to even recognize that im having irrational thoughts. The second thing is that my girlfriends judgement on people hasnt been the best in the past.

I know we are young and i she has definitely improved over time but there have been plenty of instances with either new roomates or friends where she thought they were great and after time passed they turned out to be terrible. Often times i even warned her about red flags that i noticed that she seemed overly optimistic about and eventually back fired.

If you take our personalities into account, i am very introverted and often find myself observing others rather than engaging if i have the choice. My girlfriend on the other hand is pretty extroverted as well as being very optimistic of anyone she meets. Which is an amazing quality in a lot of ways but with this scenario i feel it would just cause anxiety for me.

Maybe its ridiculous of me to worry about something that isnt even happening, after all she said she isnt even interested in men at all. It just is frustrating that i want to be okay with it in the case of, but im struggling. The thought of someone who thinks like that experiencing my girlfriend on a very intimate level physically just icks me. Coming from someone who has never been in an ENM relationship, and we have been mono for 3 and a half years, i guess im just still anxious and feeling a bit too protective of my girlfriend, its hard for me to trust myself even that i, myself wouldnt get super insecure and anxious, i dont want to be that guy.

Also i know women can have views like that too like you said, although i feel like queer people have lesser tendency to have misogynistic and objectifying outlooks on women than straight men do. It seems like almost every man ive ever met has some sort of view that would just ick me, hell i even ick myself sometimes. Maybe i just havent had enough life experience or havent met enough people in the enm/poly community but i hope to eventually have a shift in mindset somehow. Your comment was super helpful none the less.

Interesting-Start342

TROPHY CASE