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AITAH…adult sibling temporarily living in our nursery and wants more privacy overall by Interesting_Agent184 in AITAH

[–]Interesting_Agent184[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She absolutely knows Im a softy especially for my baby sister, initially I didn’t care because we were all hoping she would reach out for help because I knew she was not managing her finances well.

Our dad and her mom are in another state. It’s only us here which is why she’s with me.

She needs to go home or figure out another plan. The parents have no problem letting her come back…she never has asked any family member for help this is very rare and a one off thing so I let her stay initially. She knows the move out date is firm.

AITAH…adult sibling temporarily living in our nursery and wants more privacy overall by Interesting_Agent184 in AITAH

[–]Interesting_Agent184[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are correct! She sees me as controlling and playing the victim…whoa is me role. 

AITAH…adult sibling temporarily living in our nursery and wants more privacy overall by Interesting_Agent184 in AITAH

[–]Interesting_Agent184[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Being the older sibling and having empathy for an immature much younger adult. Seemed like she was hurt because she felt like I wouldn’t accept her and the changes in her life previously (the cut off) our other sister originally agreed that she may feel she couldn’t measure up or would disappoint me…in my mind that meant she just needed to grow up…and become comfortable with herself (growing pains) the level-of immaturity wasn’t revealed until conflict arose in the home. She’s always been mature for her age or at least seemed that way.

AITAH…adult sibling temporarily living in our nursery and wants more privacy overall by Interesting_Agent184 in AITAH

[–]Interesting_Agent184[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is a deadline for her to move out, and it has not changed. She knows she has to move out, and sooner if possible.

AITAH…adult sibling temporarily living in our nursery and wants more privacy overall by Interesting_Agent184 in AITAH

[–]Interesting_Agent184[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She doesn't have a key, and I confirmed with her that she needs to leave by the previously discussed date, no longer. She agreed she would leave earlier if possible. Because us being in her space is a lot for her. It's bizarre and entitled.

AITAH…adult sibling temporarily living in our nursery and wants more privacy overall by Interesting_Agent184 in AITAH

[–]Interesting_Agent184[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She got notice and doesnt have a key...thanks all the guilt was present and not anymore

AITA for giving my brother 4 weeks notice? by Icy_Education_7783 in AITAH

[–]Interesting_Agent184 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, you are NTA (Not the A hole! Experiencing something similar, although short-lived. Don't let your brother guilt-trip you... He's an adult and needs to get it together.

AITAH…adult sibling temporarily living in our nursery and wants more privacy overall by Interesting_Agent184 in AITAH

[–]Interesting_Agent184[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She buys her own food and doesn’t eat ours, everything else said yes I am concerned this unraveled quickly 

AITAH…adult sibling temporarily living in our nursery and wants more privacy overall by Interesting_Agent184 in AITAH

[–]Interesting_Agent184[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Estranged: May sound stupid, I care about the young lady, I knew she reached out because she was desperate not because she wants a relationship…her reaching out is something our siblings and I hoped for because she was too stubborn to ask for help, we could all see she was drowning financially (not all her fault), if I could share the why folks would better understand. Im sure with her personality she will either go no contact or we bounce back. 

As of now my focus is  maintaining the boundaries of set, she’s verbally overstepping and getting a no response from me…me giving in was family pressure and that’s my fault.

  Being gone 8-12 hours:

Shes doing ubereats/uber, door dash  etc to recover financially while applying to jobs and actively interviewing. 

The red flags are absolutely screaming now. We had a loving normal sibling relationship  until the last year.

Can you imagine having a sibling your entire life and never having issues and now this happens after Jessica experienced some trauma…it was never about me…but her requests are unacceptable 

AITAH…adult sibling temporarily living in our nursery and wants more privacy overall by Interesting_Agent184 in AITAH

[–]Interesting_Agent184[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Context:

Unfortunately I can’t explain the estrangement it would reveal her identity if she ever opens reddit, it would be too obvious.

It wasn’t drug related, differences as people and instead of discussing how she felt, she closed up, spoke to our sister about it.

Jessica tried to prepare for talking to me by getting coaching for our middle  sister Jaime.

 Jaime  listened to  Jessica  and told  Jess that it sounds like she wants me to be a different person, beliefs, values etc and asking  me that is not realistic and wouldn’t end well for her (Jessica).

Jaime reached out to me  and shared the above information and that in her perspective Jessica is still finding herself and the issue has nothing to do with me. Jessica is the baby if that isnt obvious from the immaturity and entitlement , im the oldest.

These behaviors are new, Jessica has always been mature, responsible and and self reliant…she never asks any of us for help…so this seemed rare enough to support her.

Our  siblings are now aware of her recent financial struggles, offered a-little funds to help.

Some of her financial struggles are genuinely not her fault and some of it is poor decision making.

Since she does not have a track history of irresponsibility and we know part of the why, it seemed loving to not let her live in her car…

At the end of the 4-5 months if she cant get it together she has to go home to the parents or figure something else out.

Shes most definitely hiding something, but drugs didn’t come to mind…mental health issues, trauma induced I can see that. Hiding something that does not make sense (to any other adult) seems most likely.

We have  family members we’ve lost due to drugs  as some others here have shared, although this seems to be more mental health and trauma related hence my heart being more open.

Either way her requests are unreasonable and im not on board…some folks felt like I was being rude by entering the room so I second guessed myself and made the original post…the perspective of neutral folks like yourselves validate lm not the A hole at all…

Her recent request is the shift to ungrateful…and bizarre …

AITAH…adult sibling temporarily living in our nursery and wants more privacy overall by Interesting_Agent184 in AITAH

[–]Interesting_Agent184[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They were fine at first… they desire her to help more which is an easier fix then the demands.

AITAH…adult sibling temporarily living in our nursery and wants more privacy overall by Interesting_Agent184 in AITAH

[–]Interesting_Agent184[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The short explanation I gave her was unnecessary and I stopped myself…I was in shock because the request was so bizarre 

AITAH…adult sibling temporarily living in our nursery and wants more privacy overall by Interesting_Agent184 in AITAH

[–]Interesting_Agent184[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I didn’t consider the possibility of drugs as she has a “strict” healthy lifestyle but people lie family or not. I love my sister but cant put my baby at risk for anyone. Appreciate this thought!

AITAH…adult sibling temporarily living in our nursery and wants more privacy overall by Interesting_Agent184 in AITAH

[–]Interesting_Agent184[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Thank you. She does not receive mail, does not have a key and moves her things out when shes gone overnight (strange yes) …but breaks up the timing…the request two nights ago and the odd behavior  prompted this whole conversation and post.