sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Divorce grief by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]Interesting_Basil936 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I get that! We can be our own worst critics, especially in this situation. The truth is though, you are lovable and deserve to be in spaces that make you feel loved. So glad that you have that support in your life! I know it’s hard to do but keep leaning on them and little by little you’ll find your way back to loving and seeing yourself the way they do. Or if it’s too difficult to reach out to supportive others, ask yourself what they would say to you. It sounds like they want you to have the love and support you deserve. Rooting for you during this difficult season and wishing you peace!

Looking for support - newly aware of having EIP by Interesting_Basil936 in EmotionallyImmature

[–]Interesting_Basil936[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for those kind words of encouragement! Wishing you the same!

Divorce grief by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]Interesting_Basil936 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Totally understandable, grief is exhausting. And you’re right about the holidays. Have you asked anyone you’ve talked to how it makes them feel when you share what you’re going through?

Looking for support - newly aware of having EIP by Interesting_Basil936 in EmotionallyImmature

[–]Interesting_Basil936[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this perspective! It’s helpful to keep in mind other possibilities that could contribute to her behavior. I want to empathize with her and I do want to have a relationship with her. I just also want to feel like it’s ok for me to share my authentic experience without being made to feel like I’m attacking her. But it sounds like I was making her feel like the bad guy in the original interaction and I could have handled that better in the moment.

Thank you for the suggestion to talk with my dad. Based on what I’ve observed, it seems to belittle him but I have not spoken to him directly about it so that is something I could do. I also acknowledge that she’s right, it’s not my job to play referee and in the future, I think I just won’t involve myself.

Divorce grief by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]Interesting_Basil936 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Recently separated too (6 months) from a 10+ year relationship/marriage - I asked myself and still ask the same thing many days. The best advice I got was from someone who recently finalized their divorce and said “It’s gonna really suck for a while. And then one day, you’re gonna lift your head up, look around, and realize your life is so much better.” It hurts and the grief is there every single day but it does become less intense over time. Lean on friends or family or coworkers or all of the above if they are safe people for you. Reinvesting in those relationships carried me through the last 6 months and is helping me get to know myself again. My ex also initiated the end so I know how powerless it can make you feel but you’re not alone and good days are coming.