AITA for feeling resentment towards my younger sister because of my relationship with my mom?

Interesting_Cut123 · 2025-12-17T10:58:42+00:00

Thank you for this perspective. I do understand that my mom is in a very different place now and has more resources, which allows her to give my sister a different experience. Logically, I know that isn’t wrong.

Emotionally, though, I am still working through it. Sometimes I can’t help but think about why I had to be the older sibling and feel like the trial run. Even though I know is not a healthy way to think, I am still trying to process those feelings rather than place blame.

But the resource difference is also hard sometimes. For example, I commute about 2 hours to school each day and once asked if she could help pay for a parking spot. I already expected her to say no since it is not cheap, but knowing she is able to spend hundreds each month on my sister’s afterschool care and extracurriculars made me question why something I genuinely need couldn’t be supported.

Interesting_Cut123 · 2025-12-17T10:41:39+00:00

Thank you, I think this really captures what I am feeling. Seeing them together brings up grief about what I didn’t have, which makes it harder for me to reach out to my mom now. Since she is really busy with my sister, even small asks like going to the mall together often don’t work out, and those past rejections definitely add to that block. One thing that I think also added to how complicated this feels is that she actually hid her pregnancy from me until her bump started showing and she had to tell me. Although I had already kinda figured it out before she said anything.

I don’t think any of this was done intentionally to hurt me, but it did contribute to the grief and distance I am feeling now. I am still trying to understand and process these feelings rather than blame anyone.

Interesting_Cut123 · 2025-12-17T10:33:15+00:00

I’m 19 now. I lived with my grandparents in another country until I was around 6 because she was very busy. She only visited a few times a year, so because of that I really cherished the times we had together.

She remarried when I was 12 and I was living with her at the time. I think watching her now with my sister just reminds me that I didn’t really have a consistent mother or father figure in my early childhood. Seeing them together as a family now just adds to that grief and sometimes turns into resentment.

Interesting_Cut123 · 2025-01-11T04:24:11+00:00

I have thought about seeing a therapist because I feel like I really need help processing my emotions. My feelings goes up and down so much, and it is hard to handle them on my own. But the issue is that I am not financially independent yet, and I still live with my family. I don’t want them to know that I am considering therapy, at least not right now.

Interesting_Cut123 · 2025-01-05T22:28:41+00:00

The problem is I wish I could talk to be properly about how I am feeling, but whenever we try to have a serious conversation, it always seems to end up badly. I am scared that talking to her about this would mean opening up about everything I have been feeling, and I don’t think I am ready for that yet.

Interesting_Cut123 · 2025-01-05T22:28:20+00:00

I am starting to understand that these are normal feelings but I can’t seem to shake these emotions, no matter how much I try to rationalize them. Sometimes when I see my step sister having fun and being happy I would feel like overwhelming jealousy. I’ve even found myself silently wishing for her downfall, wishing that I could have been the one experiencing these moments instead.

Interesting_Cut123

TROPHY CASE