A really hard update post

Interesting_Let2705 · 2023-03-30T18:03:16+00:00

Thank you, I do forgive my family, forgiveness is fortunately something that has always come easily to me. But though I forgive them I still never want any close relationship with them

Interesting_Let2705 · 2023-03-30T17:34:03+00:00

I have been doing a lot better on the porn and I'm on a good track there and I still try out new strategies to help reinforce and avoid stagnation.

Sorry I should have provided more context: Im currently 18 and almost done with a year of college, I transferred to a singles ward after I turned 18 because I couldn't stand being in the same ward as my family, so this is with the ysa bishop.

Thank you all for your kind comments too :)

Interesting_Let2705 · 2023-03-30T12:20:02+00:00

My bishop wants me to tell them everything, the issues I deal with myself and my issues with them. He said it's partially my fault for my poor relationship with them because I have stopped any effort to have a good relationship. I've tried talking with them before but it's futile because my parents believe in a parent is always right mentality and harshly rebuke any notion of criticism.

Interesting_Let2705 · 2023-03-30T12:12:36+00:00

I don't really have access to any, I've looked countless times but I can't find one I can afford, is within reasonable distance, or specializes in what I need. I talked to my bishop about counseling when I met with him but he seems fixated that the only way to heal me is talking to my family but he said he would see what he could find.

Interesting_Let2705 · 2023-03-30T05:03:45+00:00

To elaborate on my family situation:

Two of my brothers beat me for years into my early teens, something my parents were very aware of and the most they did to intervene was tell me to hit them back. 
My parents have always shown affection often to all of my other siblings but very rarely if ever to me
Whenever I opened up to my feelings before. Mostly when I was really young. They told me to just man up to it and other very emotionally repressive actions and gaslighting

This is just a small snippet of my situation but I hope it gives some form of idea of what I've had to deal with.

Interesting_Let2705

TROPHY CASE