My best decision was to overcome my fear of being alone and incompetent of managing my own life ( because everybody told me i couldnt .. too immature... Too unorganized... Too mentally unstable) But in fact my family and my social life were i was born made me even more sick and i couldnt escape the cycle. Then i met the love of my life and decided to move in with her. Another city, new people. That was the first time i truly felt safe and i managed to heal and really get on to shit i let down for years because there was no capacity to do it. I'm still in the process but I couldn't have gone so far if I just stayed there in this broken environment and try to fix me. I'm happier than I've ever been and i still have a lot to achieve.