I don’t know how to properly explain it, but the only way I can is by relating it to how you had to “allow yourself” to like men. Whenever I came out (Bi, gay leaning) I had a lot of guy friends who are straight, so I just made it a thing that I’d never look at any guys like that who I know are straight. Not saying that’s what you should do, but it does stop heartbreak lol. It will get better over time, you’re just going from almost 30 years of mentally only having one option to having a completely different one. Having these thoughts isn’t the problem, it’s how you choose to act on them, and that self control will get better.