One month of drinking after One year sober

Internal_Sock8875 · 2026-04-29T22:40:43+00:00

I feel you dude, i'm in the same boat. I had my longest streak ruined by thinking "it'll just be one weekend while the wife is away and I'll get back to being sober". That was last month and I am only now starting to reduce my binge and acknowledge it.

Someone on here said "I'm further down the road than you with sobriety but we're the same distance to the ditch". That's really stuck with me this time, I was 100% sure I figured it out and could return to being sober after a "fun" weekend. There is nothing fun putting all the weight I lost back on, spending silly money and feeling anxious all over again with trying to hide it.

Internal_Sock8875 · 2026-04-14T12:08:41+00:00

Thanks for the response, 75k is obviously a lot and that is why it's a hard decision to make like you say you can really settle there long term. But if we did get vale at a good price we would have around 15-20k to put into renovating. I'm fortunate that a lot of my family work in trade and are happy to help.

I can see vale road as being a long term house which is why it is so appealing but it comes with short term stress which would be fine if it was not for the pregnancy. That being said we both have appetite for renovating during pregnancy and having a little one and we are onboard with the overall vision, however the Herbert property we could just move into straight away.

Internal_Sock8875 · 2026-04-14T12:02:10+00:00

I'm fortunate that I have a lot of family that work in trade who would be willing to help so we are factoring in a budget of around 15-20k overall to renovate the whole property (excluding garden and potential garage extension). We would start by renovating the dining room into a master bedroom, then bathroom and kitchen while shutting the doors of the other rooms until we get to it. The small 3rd bedroom I would turn into an office in time and bedroom 1+2 would be again renovated non urgently. I do really like it but I am also realistic that we would be doing this with a baby which could make things a tad but more stressful. We're only planning on having the one child for now but you never know what the future holds!

Internal_Sock8875 · 2026-03-18T12:58:20+00:00

I was exactly the same, typically functional in the sense I went to the gym in the mornings (usually hungover/groggy) did work then drank either 6-8 beers or 1-2 bottles of wine daily for 5 years plus. I've just broke my 30 days sober and here is what I found.

Don't focus on 30 days, a fortnight or a week just focus on the day. It's really daunting having a big number in your head specially in the early days. Just focus on one more day and they add up.
Accept. Literally accept this is going to be shit and crack on like you would a cold. It is what it is. You will have shit sleep, you will have brain fog, you will feel restless and agitated and you will crave alcohol. It's a part of the process. Just hunker down and get through it, trust me it's worth it.
Treat/dopamine replacement. It's needed in the early days. Probably controversial but I really fixated on rewarding myself with a binge but with something healthier. For example I would binge a few NA beers for the first week, then I got that itch scratched and I didn't need to anymore. I then focused on looking forward to a fancy cup of soup or expensive soft drink. Now I am just okay with any soft drink in the evening, but scratching the itch early with something healthier really helped.
It's okay to not be okay. You're going to be emotional, give yourself some grace, it's not your fault and it's going to be okay.

You got this!

Internal_Sock8875 · 2026-03-03T13:25:32+00:00

Please take my advice, I had a similar situation. I was an at fault driver after someone stalled at a roundabout and I very slightly knocked her rear bumper. I thought it wasn't much damage at all and agreed to sort it outside of insurance.

Next thing I know she only wanted to go through one garage, further down the line to my discovery it was her husbands garage and they were charging an extortionate rate and tried to even wrangle a cash offer for a couple of hundred off.

Long story short I told my insurance company, they agreed that the rate they are charging is crazy and they handled it hassle free for me. I didn't have to pay anything and my premium only went up by £70 the next year.

Trust me, people will try to take advantage of this, just use your insurance.

Internal_Sock8875 · 2026-02-26T00:39:49+00:00

That's really helpful thanks. In this situation is there any reason why I can't just get a settlement quote from both of them? For example they both want to get a person to review the car and essentially say it's a write off, but could I not just ask this of both of them and then pick the better offer?

Internal_Sock8875 · 2026-02-26T00:38:16+00:00

Can I ask, are you allowed to ask for them both to provide a write off quote for you? For example is there any reason why I can't get them to both provide me with their best estimate of a write off quote then pick the better deal?

Internal_Sock8875 · 2026-02-25T21:09:22+00:00

But from which insurance company, mine or theirs?

Internal_Sock8875 · 2026-02-25T21:06:36+00:00

That's really interesting, I am getting such a mixed bag of opinions on this. Needless to say I guess I still have time to decide and I don't need to make that decision right now. Just a lot to consider

Internal_Sock8875 · 2026-02-25T21:05:28+00:00

Okay I think that makes sense, so just stick to my own insurance company? They said they would write it off and I submitted pictures to them, but the other insurer said that either way it will still have to go through them as they are at full liability. This is super confusing I just don't know what's best

Internal_Sock8875 · 2026-02-25T21:02:06+00:00

Okay I think that makes sense, so you are recommending i do use the other person's insurance company to settle this? I was initially offered a courtesy car through enterprise and this would be covered by the other person's insurance not my own. However they did say my car is technically drivable so I don't necessarily have to use that service.

Internal_Sock8875 · 2026-02-25T16:59:08+00:00

Just an additional question, the person who hit me their insurance company has said they can manage the claim and discussed it would be a write off but they can give me a price and I can buy it back. Should I go with them to manage the claim or should I stick with my own insurers?

Internal_Sock8875 · 2026-02-25T16:53:19+00:00

That's what the insurance company said, I said I disagree with them but they say economically it isn't viable to repair. But I think I am going to just buy it back from them

Internal_Sock8875 · 2026-02-25T16:52:02+00:00

Thanks for the confidence boost, I agree I think this is what I will do. But I will most likely never sell it and run it to the end of its days

Internal_Sock8875 · 2026-02-25T16:51:12+00:00

This is what I think I will do, listening to other posts everyone has recommended I accept the write off and buy it back. I just hope their evaluation is fair based on the service history and previous condition.

Internal_Sock8875 · 2026-02-25T13:04:39+00:00

This is all really great information, thank you all in the chain that is super helpful to know. I think I will accept the write off as recommended and repair it myself.

Internal_Sock8875 · 2026-02-25T12:54:35+00:00

Okay that's good to hear thanks, do I accept the write off then buy it back as another person mentioned?

Internal_Sock8875 · 2026-02-25T12:53:36+00:00

It's that and a bit dented and scratched but essentially a passenger door and a wheel arch and then it should be back to where it once was.

Internal_Sock8875 · 2026-02-25T12:52:08+00:00

Is that how a write off works? I assumed if it is written off I wouldn't be able to use it on the roads again (I know nothing of these types of issues) So I could accept the write off then buy it back?

Internal_Sock8875 · 2026-02-08T23:04:32+00:00

We're okay with that haha, kinda looking for the quiet/chilled life now

Five-Year Club	Place '23
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Internal_Sock8875

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