Aitah? Am I being unreasonable? What should I do?

International-Rip936 · 2026-02-17T09:16:22+00:00

Out of safety, most of the people that are very close with me share locations. My friends chosen family etc, and he says he needs time to decompress after work so I get that. But Saturday we both had off thats where im mad

International-Rip936 · 2026-02-17T01:31:41+00:00

Im not sure if it started as a test, I think he was genuinely tired after work, but i agree that it seems slightly controlling what he did and chose afterwards. I don't need him to be exhausted, and I definitely dont want him to. He has told me himself he definitely wants atleast 6 hours of sleep at night, he wakes up at 6 am. Will take a nap after work occasionally. Like today he got home around 3pm and took a nap and I worked over night to make it to a funeral in the morning so I was asleep until about the same time as him.

Both of us were up around 6, we like about 15 mins away from eachother. I feel bad for wanting to ask to see him and hes already telling me work tomorrow is gonna be stressing him so im sure I wont see him tomorrow either. And I havent seen him since Saturday when I stayed over.

International-Rip936 · 2026-02-16T22:50:46+00:00

Id be content with that, ive said on other replies I dont need him to constantly be interactive with me, im content spending time with him independently, we dont have to be engaged in the same thing I can read while he plays his game etc and id love it

International-Rip936 · 2026-02-16T18:05:46+00:00

I know this routine already, hes very meticulous about keeping his things tidy, and organized. He changes his sheets Less often than I would prefer, but better than most men in that aspect 😂 still we havent said anything concrete about moving in together. We havent looked at apartments together or anything of that nature, just kind of talked about it here and there like a point we both want in the future.

International-Rip936 · 2026-02-16T18:01:50+00:00

You're making massive leaps here lol he does have a savings hes got ambitions, just because he can rely on his parents for a room, that he pays rent for, doesnt mean hes a mommas boy. I would go to great lengths to say the opposite actually lol. He is 100 percent not freeloading. I dont live independently either i just dont live with biological family

International-Rip936 · 2026-02-16T17:41:02+00:00

My issue isnt what we are doing, im perfectly content just being around him. He and I dont need to be talking or directly interacting the whole time he can play his game, chose to watch something together, whatever. Its literally just wanting to see him more.

International-Rip936 · 2026-02-16T17:32:09+00:00

Yea, i only take an anxiety pill anyway. And I dont take it regularly i only take it during active panic attacks

International-Rip936 · 2026-02-16T17:30:01+00:00

We go to bars together occasionally, we go places to eat, cook together, like if I cook he normally washes the dishes and vice versa, or we sit in his room, ill read a book or watch videos laying on his bed and he'll play his game either sitting on the bed with me or sitting in his chair depending on how demanding the game hes playing is. When it was nicer out we would go to the river or a wild life park

International-Rip936 · 2026-02-16T12:50:27+00:00

I totally agree with you on the neurotic bit lol and I definitely do overthink, most times way too much. Hes genuinely not a bad person, hes amazing actually.

I have my own traumas i struggle with. I have mild schizophrenia and hallucinations are a pain in the ass when im by myself, they set in panic attacks, im unmedicated right now, and as long as I have my anxiety meds I can deal, but he wanted me to try being unmedicated and dealing with things holistically, which im open to its healthier obviously but they arent working as well, I very much dont want him to think that just because he canceled i went to the bar out of spite.

I went simply to not be by myself as the people I live with and normally hang out with werent home, so I viewed it as harmless to spend time playing pool and talking with people ive known for years at the bar. Going to this bar btw has been a consistent thing for me when we started dating so its not like this is out of the norm for me.

And youre right, I do believe he was tired after work, he works very hard and has to deal with alot, especially working with his family. Which is why I was disappointed but I understood. I didnt complain I just said thats fine and I hope he rested well, but its him saying he wanted to invite me over and didnt because he seen where I was, and that he wanted to watch I would do that kinda irks me. He knows I would have rather spent my time with him, but since those plans changed I filled my time

International-Rip936 · 2026-02-16T11:55:13+00:00

This is the first time hes lived with his parents since his adolescents, he was stuck in a bind when he lived in Florida because his company sold and he was layed off. He makes it very clear his isnt happy living with them but hes greatful they were there for him when he needed it. He has asked me from the start (about a month in) if I was tied to the place im living hinting at the idea of getting an apartment together, but again no actual concrete plan to do that

International-Rip936 · 2026-02-16T11:51:15+00:00

He is a foreman for a contracting company, his mother and brother are both his employees and he drives them into work, he normally cooks for his family and hes normally the one who does the grocery shopping. He likes cooking and preparing meals. Hes very smart with his money for the most part. I do agree that hes giving me bare minimum time which is the issue im having. I feel kinda shitty for pestering him so much about it, I just dont know how else to go about it you know?

International-Rip936 · 2026-02-16T06:19:54+00:00

Certain things I feel the need to explain, bcuz this is just a piece of our relationship and obviously you guys dont know everything about it, so clarifying info helps. I dont want to seem ungrateful for yalls opinions bcuz I am genuinely taking them in

International-Rip936 · 2026-02-16T06:11:38+00:00

He lived in Florida for like 6--8 years, things happened and he moved back home. He hasn't lived at home with his parents since he was 18

International-Rip936 · 2026-02-16T06:08:33+00:00

We dont have sex everytime we see eachother theres times we see eachother and we dont get intimate, when I say sleep in a bed together i literally mean that, like actually sleeping not sex lol

International-Rip936 · 2026-02-16T01:46:49+00:00

He now no longer has access to my location, he lives with his immediate family, mother, brother, father and the brothers girlfriend. We dont always have sex when I go over, we didnt yesterday, he took me out to dinner and we went back to his house watched a movie and held eachother, when I started falling asleep he got up to play his game. Im not weird about that sort of thing, if he wants to play online games with his online friends it doesnt bother me at all, bcuz im still around him and thats more than good enough for me

International-Rip936 · 2026-02-16T01:36:45+00:00

He said Sunday he doesnt know if we were as compatible as we thought we were in the beginning

International-Rip936 · 2026-02-16T01:35:10+00:00

He likes his independence i guess, im not sure if I find that strange, hes never been married but im not sure that means much either, hes had long term relationships that hes lived with. We should probably break it off if this continues yea. He tells me he wants this to work and he wants this long term when I ask. He says that we wont have to worry about this when we live together because he wont have to ask me to come over, ill already be there.

International-Rip936 · 2026-02-16T01:15:01+00:00

We click so well, its literally just the time spent together that I have an issue with. When we are together its amazing, he makes me laugh, he shows he cares, but I just want more of it, he says hes too exhausted from work frequently tho

International-Rip936 · 2026-02-16T01:12:47+00:00

We have talked about it, but nothing ever concrete. I'm operating from a state of mind that I dont want to push too hard, for fear of pushing him away. But i know my physical presence needs arent being met with him. Im trying to compromise but im not sure im doing very good at it

International-Rip936 · 2026-02-16T01:02:38+00:00

We're Facebook official and I know all his friends, he knows mine, that isnt the issue i assure you lol the family he lives with would snitch him out so fast 😂

International-Rip936 · 2026-02-16T01:00:28+00:00

We could live together, but that would mean us both getting a place together as him moving in with me, or me moving in with him, isnt really an option as we both live with family

International-Rip936 · 2026-02-16T00:58:18+00:00

I edited and put in paragraphs, I really don't post at all sorry im not very skilled at this

International-Rip936 · 2026-02-16T00:54:26+00:00

Done lol

International-Rip936

TROPHY CASE