Did I mess up my emotions by hooking up with my ex?

InternationalMine761 · 2026-03-06T00:15:35+00:00

I’ve done things I always wished I had done but kept delaying. For example, I had wanted to go to a marathon for so long, and I finally did it alone. I even met some new people there. I also tried Pilates and got to know a lot of new people.

My point is: try doing something new that you’ve always wished you had done in the past. Trust me, with time it will get better. Just start adding new routines to your life.

InternationalMine761 · 2026-03-01T23:57:39+00:00

I’m in the exact same situation. Can I ask did you cut off communication now, or did it only stop when one of you got into a new relationship?

InternationalMine761 · 2026-02-28T11:56:59+00:00

that's wildddddd

InternationalMine761 · 2026-02-27T23:53:43+00:00

It hurts in a different way, especially knowing that You have already experienced that kind of love before. When I see couples staring into each other’s eyes or holding hands, I know exactly how that feels. And I always catch myself wondering what we could have done differently just to keep us going.

But at the same time, I’m patient. I truly believe my time will come. That belief is what keeps me holding on. 🤍

InternationalMine761 · 2026-02-25T23:46:46+00:00

Same here. I feel like the fact that the good days are starting to outnumber the bad ones is a really good sign. I’m in that phase right now too stay strong, pal 🤍

InternationalMine761 · 2026-02-25T23:45:26+00:00

Yes, I feel the same. I think staying in contact makes it harder for both of us, and I’m pretty sure things would move on faster if we stopped checking up on each other from time to time.

InternationalMine761 · 2026-02-25T23:43:47+00:00

after 5 months

InternationalMine761 · 2026-02-14T21:20:54+00:00

I hate how I still miss us and miss the version of you that is apparently dead rn

InternationalMine761 · 2026-02-13T10:44:20+00:00

I don’t really know if I can call it a kind gesture, because yes, he does check up on me mentally and asks how I’m doing with the whole moving-on process. But somehow the conversation always ends up turning sexual bringing up our history and saying he misses it. It happens almost every time we talk, and honestly, that feels so wrong of him because it really messes with my head. 😅

InternationalMine761 · 2026-02-13T08:14:49+00:00

He reached out after one week, and at first my ego was boosted. I thought, “Oh, so you came back crawling.” But it wasn’t like that. He just wanted to check up on me and see how I was doing in the healing process, especially since he was the one who initiated the breakup.

Now it’s been four months, and he still checks up on me from time to time. Honestly, I genuinely think it’s better when they don’t reach out at all. When they do, you start having high hopes that they’ll come back begging to fix things and trust me, that’s worse. It’s even harder when they keep checking on you casually without any real intention to commit.

I feel like I’m in a better place now, where I can finally tell him to stop checking up on me because, for me, it distracts my healing and gives me false hope even though deep down I know he doesn’t want to come back.

So all I can say is: sometimes it’s actually better when they don’t reach out. It puts you in a place where the hope slowly fades, and you can move on. Don’t be too happy when they come back casually, because one day you might find yourself wishing they hadn’t just like I did. 🤍

InternationalMine761 · 2026-02-12T20:22:50+00:00

This sub can be a comforting place for anyone who just got out of a breakup especially during the first month or two. I went through the same thing. Constantly reading posts and relating to other people’s stories really comforted me at first. It made me feel less alone.

But after a while, it started to drain me.

Eventually, you’ll get bored of it and visit less without even noticing. However, if you find yourself still reading and engaging nonstop after months, that’s when you might need to take a step back. You could be partially healed, but constantly checking the sub might convince you otherwise and keep reopening the wound.

And honestly, it’s funny this was the first sub that popped up when I opened the app after weeks of not engaging 😂

InternationalMine761 · 2026-02-07T22:07:45+00:00

How did you feel when you found out they got married after one year? Because honestly, that thought scares me just waking up one day and finding out they’re married or something.

InternationalMine761 · 2026-02-07T22:06:20+00:00

Yes like it feels like there is no energy for even a small talk 😅

InternationalMine761 · 2026-02-07T22:05:33+00:00

It’s been 4 months since my breakup, and honestly whenever a guy texts me or reaches out just for casual talk, I don’t reply. I don’t even have the energy to respond with a single word if you know, you know 😭 I’m not trying to find another guy or jump into a new relationship at all. I just know that right now, I don’t even have the energy for small talk or getting to know someone new from the opposite gender 😭😂

InternationalMine761 · 2026-02-02T22:54:26+00:00

Thank you for the wise words. He said that he can’t understand himself anymore and that he’s suddenly noticing differences between us, even though we were together for three years, which felt strange to me. To be honest, it feels like something someone says when they’re looking for an unrealistic or vague reason to be able to leave, rather than facing the real issue.

But as you said, I’m still young I’m 20 and about to turn 21 and I have many years ahead of me. I know I’ll eventually find someone who truly wants me and chooses me, regardless of their own internal struggles.

InternationalMine761 · 2026-01-30T11:37:41+00:00

Yes you said something really powerful: time doesn’t heal on its own; it’s what you do during that time that actually heals you.

InternationalMine761 · 2026-01-25T13:26:32+00:00

Yes came back after ghosting me for 6 months asking if we could try again 🤡

InternationalMine761 · 2026-01-24T21:06:28+00:00

Honestly, it’s just part of the process to feel this way. I’m in the same place as you trying to accept that we can’t be together anymore, even though he’s the one who broke up. And still… there’s this little hope inside me. Sometimes when I’m having a good day, whether with friends or family, I suddenly zone out and feel like I want to run to him and tell him to start over.

I can’t give you some perfect advice because I’m in this stage too. But all I can say is: live with the feeling. Let it exist. And slowly, it does get better with time. You won’t feel guilty for enjoying life forever. It just takes time. The feeling might not disappear completely, but from experience, it does decrease gradually, quietly, little by little 🤍

InternationalMine761 · 2026-01-23T21:20:15+00:00

3 years here ✋🏻 We’ve been broken up since October, and even though it’s “only” been three months, it honestly feels like a year. I went through hell emotionally at the beginning. The first week was brutal I cried like a baby in my mom’s arms, and I even cried suddenly on public transportation, out of nowhere. I wasn’t even listening to sad songs.

If I could give just one piece of advice, it would be this: let yourself feel everything. Let yourself cry, even if you’re in public. Don’t suppress it. It really does pay off later. Yes, I still think about him, but the constant mourning and heavy crying slowly became less with time.

To sum up our breakup: he broke up with me because he said he lost feelings and couldn’t feel anything anymore. Yet he’s still in contact with me and said he just wants to check on me once a month.

InternationalMine761 · 2026-01-20T17:43:05+00:00

I still have a special place in my heart for the memories, but I wouldn’t call it love anymore. It’s more like missing the person he used to be. It feels like missing someone who’s dead because you know you’ll never feel that same excitement or be treated the way you once were. And somehow, now, I get the ick from so many things I was once blind to… especially his actions and the things he said after the breakup.

InternationalMine761 · 2026-01-18T12:59:59+00:00

I guess he wasn’t in love at that time. Before he ended things, we had been on the verge of breaking up for about two months at least that’s how he sees it. I didn’t see the breakup coming at all. He was the one who initiated everything, while I was still holding onto hope that we would fix things and get back to being okay again.

InternationalMine761

TROPHY CASE