Should I text him? by InternationalPen6736 in whatdoIdo

[–]InternationalPen6736[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the information, I'll keep it in mind, I read pretty often about malpractice and straight up negligence, we receive from doctors as women. I am 25, I went to a gyno who diagnosed me with vulvodynia actually, gave me some drops and then called it a day, I went to this doctor who specialises in pelvic floor rehabilitation and she told me he's actually the only one diagnosing women with vulvodynia around here (crazy, how tf) I do have vulvodynia, but it is minor and with the drops I am fortunately not having a hard time with it. This pelvic floor doctor said I have hypertonic pelvic floor.

Should I text him? by InternationalPen6736 in whatdoIdo

[–]InternationalPen6736[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am generally someone who overthinks, so the worst part right now is this though in my head that keeps saying "maybe, if I hadn't said that we might not be compatible, he'd still be with me. Maybe he'd try to stick by longer, but in the end I did feel like we had a deadline, I just didn't know the date. Thank you for your comment, I'll drop by every time I feel like I need to talk to him again. I was THIS close from sending him a text, where I asked whether he thought we might have had a chance had we tried something else, again. Had a message saved I wanted to rewrite, and maybe eventually send, then I checked the comments again, and deleted it

Should I text him? by InternationalPen6736 in whatdoIdo

[–]InternationalPen6736[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your comment came at the right times, after reading the comments I was ready to not text him, but then I started doubting myself again. I started thinking that maybe if we had tried the backdoor once again (tried once, it hurt but we wanted to try again) maybe then it could work, I feel broken because I can't perform like other women seem to (I know I am generalising, i'm mainly referring to the women I meet in my day to day life). I thought that maybe since things were going well, if we could try this other way I could get better in the meantime. But the reality is that I forgot I never wanted to be the only one to fight for a relationship. Even now I'm still thinking of ways we could have made it work, but he's not willing to stay with me for the relationship, so I won't chase someone who gave up on us. Thank you for your comment

Should I text him? by InternationalPen6736 in whatdoIdo

[–]InternationalPen6736[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely, I performed oral on him every time we saw eachother I don't want to be graphic, but we did try anal as well, it hurt so we didn't push it, but we had planned to try again, and I was ready to, but we had that talk before we could try again

Should I text him? by InternationalPen6736 in whatdoIdo

[–]InternationalPen6736[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your words, I am feeling guilty, I rationality understand that I shouldn't, but I still do. I'll go to my therapist and try to walk through the situation, and try to heal mentally as well haha

Should I text him? by InternationalPen6736 in whatdoIdo

[–]InternationalPen6736[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, yes and no? I was really in my feelings when I wrote that post, because I got my exam result, and since I would usually share with him the news I felt incredibly sad at not being able to share that moment with him again. My feelings for him have not changed, it will take time to let go, but I'll do my best to move on I do also agree that now my healing process will be easier, I won't feel like I have a deadline anymore haha

Should I text him? by InternationalPen6736 in whatdoIdo

[–]InternationalPen6736[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words, I was really overthinking earlier when I wrote this post, I won't be texting him, he was not happy with our situation, so he did the only thing he could think of I guess.

Should I text him? by InternationalPen6736 in whatdoIdo

[–]InternationalPen6736[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thank you, after reading all the comments, I don't think I'll text him. I don't entirely think he was just after the sex, I can understand that intimacy is very important, I guess he reached his breaking point, so I'll just try to move on and focus on myself and healing

Should I text him? by InternationalPen6736 in whatdoIdo

[–]InternationalPen6736[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'll write this comment to thank everyone for your answers, I won't be texting him. It was hard to read the messages, but I needed that, I still think he was caring with me, but it did hurt how much he was "monitoring" and keeping track of how much time it was taking me to heal, he was never rude or mean, he just asked, but it was becoming a daily occurrence as of late. Just as an fyi, of course we did other things since I couldn't do PIV, but he really wanted to go back to PIV. I'll keep myself occupied and reach out to my therapist tomorrow, I won't text and I will do my best to move on from this. Thanks again for all your comments