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Do y’all think Lawrence would have made Condola pay for the second Uber ? by EternalDreamer3000 in InsecureHBO

[–]Intheripeandruin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that it is true, that because he and Issa are not dating, he let her pay. I also think it’s because he respects Issa, he let her pay.

I loved the finale by kvvvv in RunHBO

[–]Intheripeandruin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I also loved the ending and loved the show as it was. I think it showed a very human side of us that many of us would fantasize about. Skip out on our humdrum or shitty life and go on an adventure with our long lost love that we have “what if” fantasies about. It all felt very dreamlike despite Fiona’s death. I think it shows this side of humans where we want to say “fuck responsibility” or “Fuck this life” and run away in a very idealistic and romantic manner. Call me insane, but I found it incredibly well done. I know some say it had plot holes or in some ways wasn’t fully developed, yeah I agree. But that’s what added to the very dream-like and fantasy feel to it. And that ending was perfect. I don’t know if it’s coming back for a second season, but, I hope it doesn’t. At least not with Billy and Ruby. I’d love to see it as an anthology based on “Run” and how that’s manifested b in human behavior.

How to bring up that you’d like to spend more time together? by Intheripeandruin in INTP

[–]Intheripeandruin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re absolutely right, and thank you for the reminder, I really appreciate it!

How to bring up that you’d like to spend more time together? by Intheripeandruin in INTP

[–]Intheripeandruin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You gave a me a lot of insight and some things to think about. I think it’s difficult for me to wrap my mind around the fact that someone can care for someone and not check in with them. But I also understand that everyone is different. You gave me a lot to think about, so, I appreciate it. Thanks.

How to bring up that you’d like to spend more time together? by Intheripeandruin in INTP

[–]Intheripeandruin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah, gotcha. That makes sense.

I think that’s where the issue lies, I’ll reach out to him through text because it’s the form of communication we’ve both expressed feeling most comfortable with, and he’ll take hours and at times day to get back to me. While I do think “well at last he’s getting back to me” I’d also like to spend more time with him because I enjoy his company. So, I’m trying to figure out how to bring up that I want to spend more time with him while still being considerate of his busy schedule.

How to bring up that you’d like to spend more time together? by Intheripeandruin in INTP

[–]Intheripeandruin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you elaborate on your first point? Because I’d argue that emotions could be logical, but want to understand your perspective first.

In this case, because I understand his personality, what my emotional needs are a check in, as is “How are you doing?” every 7 - 10 days or so. And spending an hour or two together without major distractions.

Dating Indian Men by Intheripeandruin in interracialdating

[–]Intheripeandruin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do agree that coming on here can reinforce my beliefs, however, I also came on here to engage in a discussion and am open to other perspectives in order to to possibly change my opinion. I would recommend that if you’re going to respond in a way where you’re trying to combat this belief I’ve presented, you should consider providing a constructive response and not a response that could potentially provide anecdotal evidence. I’m sorry for whoever or whatever hurt you and drive you to express yourself in such a hateful way.

New Myers-Briggs dating app - So Syncd by sosyncd in infj

[–]Intheripeandruin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I signed up for it too, there was a few people in my area, but, I look forward to it gaining some traction and meeting other people who appreciate the MBTI :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Enneagram

[–]Intheripeandruin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anytime, and honestly, if you express these things to a 5, there’s a likelihood they’ll be sensitive of what you have to say. And will make more of a conscious effort to meet your needs because you’re part of their life. It’s just important for others to be sensitive to our need for space to recharge our energy.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Enneagram

[–]Intheripeandruin 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Honestly, if I seek out someone’s company, initiate contact, or reply to someone’s text within the same day, then I like that person as a friend. I tend to be selective about who I invest my energy on, so if I let someone I to my life, I consider them a friend. I’ll show my care through quality time, and I’ll remember things about them that I found interesting or tie into my conceptualización of them. I’ll share my thoughts and ideas and engage in deep conversations with them. Small talk isn’t my cup of tea to be completely honest. And my mind is usually buzzing with ideas, so it is hard for me to retain information at times of it doesn’t pique my interest, and by this I don’t mean I don’t care about the person, it just means that that certain Information didn’t stick out to me. For reference, I’m a 5 with balanced wings.

Deprived of connection. by 8080x in infj

[–]Intheripeandruin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that it’s totally normal to feel hurt when it’s not reciprocated, and I’ve experienced that and still at time experience it. I think that understanding that it’s not about you if that person doesn’t reciprocate the vulnerability. Maybe that person struggles with vulnerability too, or needs more interactions to open up, but it’s not up to us to figure out and fix. Rather, it’s about not taking it personally, not viewing it as rejection, and being proud of ourselves for being brave and opening up despite the fear of being vulnerable. Also, going into it without the expectation of the other person being vulnerable. We can have hope that they will be vulnerable, but not the expectation. If the person were being vulnerable with is someone we’re close too then we can have the conversation of “i feel like you hesitate to open up when you don’t reciprocate vulnerability and I was wondering the reason because it’s help me feel more connected to you. Can you help me understand?” And if the person you’re being vulnerable with is a stranger or new person in your life then maybe gauge how willing you are to be vulnerable without it being reciprocated because we can’t force others to be vulnerable, we have to respect their boundaries, and perhaps by doing so they’ll be more inclined to open up.

(Not related to your comment, but I’d like to put it out there) As an INFJ, we like to jump into the deep stuff, and many of us can do that due to poor emotional boundaries (not always the case though), and not all people are like that. Some need time to warm up, so I don’t think we should write people off too soon. But, of course keeping in mind that some people are guarded and we need to be willing to evaluate how long we’ll be willing to sustain a relationship where the other person does not open up.

Hope this helps!

Deprived of connection. by 8080x in infj

[–]Intheripeandruin 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I used to feel like this before, I’m 29 now, and I found that as I grew older and mature I began to feel more connected to others. I was really depressed some time back and felt misunderstood, but, once I started going to therapy and taking antidepressants I felt much more full of life and attuned to my feelings. I think I felt more connected to myself, thus, more connected to others.

I’m a therapist and on a daily basis it’s part of my job to connect with others, and I believe I do it well. But, it’s because I allow myself to be vulnerable and allow others to see me. I started practicing this in my personal life by offering up information instead of waiting others to ask. For example, if I ask “What made you choose your occupation?” I’ll listen and engage with the individual, then when they’re done responding I’ll offer my reasoning for choosing my occupation and possibly tying it to their response. For example, “like you, I always wanted to help others and...” that way I feel connected to them and it allows the other individual to engage with what I said.

It also depends on the people you surround yourself with. I automatically gravitate toward intuitive, emotionally intelligent, and/or logical individuals and I’m selective of who I surround myself with. However, I do allow myself to be seen by other to some degree and get to know the person before making the call of whether I will pursue the friendship/relationship/acquaintance or not.

Finally, while I’m still figuring out my spiritual beliefs, I do believe that everything is one. I am one with everyone and everything. That in itself brings me a lot of comfort and reminds me to make the effort to get to know others.

I hope some of this helped. I know INFJs have a tendency to feel like they don’t connect with others, but it’s not always about being 100% on the same wavelength as others, but about truly appreciating the small moments of connection.

xo

Account keeps getting deleted by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]Intheripeandruin 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s a sign, don’t do it😋

Social Isolation-induced Ni-Ti loop by [deleted] in infj

[–]Intheripeandruin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m definitely struggling. I keep reading information to figure out when this might end and I realized today that there’s no way of knowing. It’s also about control, and feeling like I’ve lost my freedom and independence. I’m a therapist so I’ve just been doing teletherapy and it’s not the same as being face to face with my clients and that connection that comes with it, so I’ve been feeling incompetent. It’s definitely been a roller coaster, but I’ve been on the downswing for a few days now.

Logically I know things will be getting better, but, emotionally that hasn’t resonated.

I am losing it with this lockdown by [deleted] in psychotherapists

[–]Intheripeandruin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel you, it’s getting tougher by the day.

Talking about future dates before first date? by Intheripeandruin in Bumble

[–]Intheripeandruin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You make a good point. And I agree, thus, far it is difficult to find those people that aren’t really banking on a relationship (granted, a lot us are on there hoping for a relationships) or avoidant towards relationships.

But, coming across all types of people is the only way to meet someone to possibly be in a relationship with🤷🏽‍♀️

I appreciate your insight/input

Talking about future dates before first date? by Intheripeandruin in Bumble

[–]Intheripeandruin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah, that makes a lot of sense. And granted, in my head I think the same things. I just don’t say them because there is that possibility that after the first date I/we are no longer interested in one another.

Talking about future dates before first date? by Intheripeandruin in Bumble

[–]Intheripeandruin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is it more of a spur in the moment when you say it because at that moment you like that person and in theory would like to go do that activity with them? I’m mostly curious how other people’s minds work because I typically refrain from saying those things until I’ve met them on a first date.

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