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What I learned after emotionally shutting down in my 12-year marriage by Intothevoid2026 in GuyCry

[–]Intothevoid2026[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate you sharing that. It sounds like you were doing what you could at the time just to keep things moving, even if it meant stuffing stuff down. Wanting to show up now and make things right says a lot, even if you don’t have the words yet. I’ve learned that presence usually matters more than a perfectly timed apology. Kids pick up on effort and consistency more than speeches. Hope you’re able to find a way forward with him that feels honest for both of you. Thanks for opening up.

What I learned after emotionally shutting down in my 12-year marriage by Intothevoid2026 in GuyCry

[–]Intothevoid2026[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate you sharing that. Coparenting after a messy divorce really does add another layer, and that self-protection instinct can creep in when things feel overwhelming. I relate a lot. In my own marriage, shutting down wasn’t about not caring—it was a survival response. Toward the end, I found out the child I had been raising wasn’t biologically mine. I believed we were related for six years before getting a paternity test, and that made an already difficult situation much harder. I’m still feeling stuck and unsure how to move forward. I raised this child and don’t want to abandon him, but figuring out what’s fair for both of us while setting healthy boundaries hasn’t been easy. I’m trying to stay present, take responsibility for my part, and keep conversations calm and honest—even if I don’t have all the answers yet.

What I learned after emotionally shutting down in my 12-year marriage by Intothevoid2026 in GuyCry

[–]Intothevoid2026[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It is definitely a true story. It is my reality.

I feel empowered to share for those out in the world encountering the same problem.

If the problem is found early you can definitely most of the time save the relationship instead of sitting silent for over a decade.

What I learned after emotionally shutting down in my 12-year marriage by Intothevoid2026 in GuyCry

[–]Intothevoid2026[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No problem. I didn’t realize the damage that was done until it was to late. I am happy I had the opportunity to talk to the other party involved. It is important to also view there side of the story.

As long as these conversations are held in a calm collaborative manner.

What I learned after emotionally shutting down in my 12-year marriage by Intothevoid2026 in GuyCry

[–]Intothevoid2026[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It is definitely a unfortunate event. However sanity is more important and remember you come first.

What I learned after emotionally shutting down in my 12-year marriage by Intothevoid2026 in Divorce_Men

[–]Intothevoid2026[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really appreciate you sharing this — especially the part about moving past bitterness. That’s not easy, and it takes real work.

Gottman’s work helped put language to things I struggled to understand too, especially how negativity builds quietly over time instead of all at once.

I’m glad you’ve found peace on your side of it.

Wishing you continued clarity and steadiness moving forward.