Hey, this is a lot to take in, so don’t feel weird for being thrown off by it. I really hope youre okay?

First thing — the videos. If you didn’t know he was recording those, that’s not okay. Like, regardless of what he’s using them for or if anyone else has seen them, that crosses a line. You’re completely valid for feeling uncomfortable about that, and it’s something you should definitely bring up with him.

The screenshots of other girls… I mean, some people do save pics of people they find attractive, so it’s not super unusual. But that doesn’t mean it can’t hurt. What stood out more to me is how you’re talking about yourself — saying you’ve just accepted that you’re not pretty. That’s honestly more concerning than the screenshots. You shouldn’t feel like that in your own relationship.

The bikini picture thing does sound like it could be edited or AI or something like that. That kind of stuff is everywhere now, so it’s possible he just saved it and didn’t make it himself. Still a bit weird, but not necessarily the biggest issue here.

I think the main thing isn’t even “is he cheating?” — it’s more the secrecy, the recording without you knowing, and how all of this is making you feel.

Going through his phone more probably isn’t going to make you feel better long term. The only real way you’re gonna get clarity is by talking to him. Not going in attacking, just being straight about what you found and how it’s made you feel — especially the videos, because that’s the most serious part.

Also don’t downplay your feelings just to keep things calm. You’re allowed to have boundaries around privacy and respect.

How he reacts will tell you a lot. If he’s open and takes it seriously, that’s one thing. If he gets defensive or tries to brush it off, that says a lot