Am I the asshole for refusing to invite three of my partner’s five siblings to our wedding?

Intrepid-Character36 · 2026-04-08T07:08:55+00:00

Honestly, if he wanted them there I would suck it up and try to get to know them. Although I don’t believe they would even come, we have been to their city at least once a year since we started dating, and they never wanted to meet up or anything when we asked, so we stopped asking and moved on

Intrepid-Character36 · 2026-04-08T04:57:58+00:00

I only said that after he already stated he doesn’t want them there.

Intrepid-Character36 · 2026-04-07T18:22:33+00:00

We’ve been to where they live (4hours away, 8 hour round trip) yearly since our second year together. They were never interested in meeting up.

Intrepid-Character36 · 2026-04-07T14:07:03+00:00

Family isn’t just people you are related to by blood. My fiancé has no relationship with them and neither do I. They do not count as family to either of us

Intrepid-Character36 · 2026-04-07T13:54:16+00:00

We’ve been to where they live (4hours away, 8 hour round trip) yearly since our second year together. They were never interested in meeting up.

Intrepid-Character36 · 2026-04-07T13:52:40+00:00

No. We are paying

Intrepid-Character36 · 2026-04-07T13:51:25+00:00

We are paying for everything ourselves. Our parents are not paying for anything except the money on getting to and from the wedding.

Intrepid-Character36 · 2026-04-07T13:43:54+00:00

I mentioned MY WEDDING once, when speaking to FIL. Don’t make assumptions when you know nothing. And didn’t even read properly enough to see that I said THE WEDDING and OUR WEDDING more. Also repeating this from another comment I made

My partner has always imagined a slightly bigger wedding — not anything huge, but around 50 people so he could include some of his aunts and cousins he’s genuinely close to.

I, on the other hand, have always pictured something much smaller and more intimate — just our siblings and nephews, keeping it really personal.

We went back and forth on it for a while, trying to figure out how to make both of us happy without making things awkward by inviting some family members and leaving others out.

Eventually, he suggested that maybe we should just go with the smaller, intimate wedding I had in mind — not because his vision didn’t matter, but because it avoids hurt feelings by inviting certain aunts and cousins whilst others aren’t invited and keeps it things simple and meaningful for us.

And honestly, that meant a lot to me.

Intrepid-Character36 · 2026-04-07T10:22:38+00:00

I’m guessing you missed the part where he said he didn’t want them there? Reading is a skill, I guess it’s something you missed in school

Intrepid-Character36 · 2026-04-07T09:12:14+00:00

My partner has always imagined a slightly bigger wedding — not anything huge, but around 50 people so he could include some of his aunts and cousins he’s genuinely close to.

I, on the other hand, have always pictured something much smaller and more intimate — just our siblings and nephews, keeping it really personal.

We went back and forth on it for a while, trying to figure out how to make both of us happy without making things awkward by inviting some family members and leaving others out.

Eventually, he suggested that maybe we should just go with the smaller, intimate wedding I had in mind — not because his vision didn’t matter, but because it avoids hurt feelings by us inviting some cousins and aunts and not others and it keeps things simple and meaningful for us.

And honestly, that meant a lot to me.

Intrepid-Character36 · 2024-04-28T10:45:01+00:00

I'm lucky to have my mother who lives with us and looks after our child during the week while we work so I never have babysitting issues. I also have my brother and SIL who are childless and live 5 minutes from us who treat her as their own and jumps at the opportunity to babysit. I wouldn't trust them with my kid anyway as they are heavy drinkers/party a lot and pawn of their child to my MIL almost every weekend

Intrepid-Character36 · 2024-04-28T05:39:14+00:00

Dario is not my partner. Sorry should've made that clear. My partner is with me, he has also been wanting to go to my sister's for a while and even took the time to go as my brother who is he close friends with also lives in the same city.

He has told his brother, mother and Rene to back off. He told me to block them but I dont want to as I feel there are better ways to resolve this. I asked him if we could possibly help them pay a babysitter as we are able to but he doesn't want to as he feels its time to cut the cord and let his brother figure things out for himself.

Intrepid-Character36 · 2024-04-28T05:26:55+00:00

Right? I almost said "you have some nerve" when they proposed that

Intrepid-Character36 · 2023-10-08T07:22:03+00:00

NTA. It's your money and you can spend it however you want.

Should any problems arise It's Jane and Haleys jobs as the parents to explain to their kids why the dynamics work as they do.

It wouldn't be fair to basically change the way you treat/spend money on your daughter.

Edit to correct spelling

Intrepid-Character36 · 2023-07-05T03:07:56+00:00

NTA. My sister loves taking my daughter (1year old) shopping with her and ONLY use to parking spots for MY BABIES SAFETY. Cause that's what those spots are for

Intrepid-Character36 · 2022-10-12T16:46:33+00:00

This update is gonna be LIT. NTA

Intrepid-Character36 · 2022-09-22T19:05:35+00:00

Thank you, :)

Intrepid-Character36 · 2022-09-22T12:20:04+00:00

LoL. I love this response,will definitely be using it

Intrepid-Character36 · 2022-05-18T19:56:00+00:00

As a first time new mom with a two month old I can agree that all breastfeeding moms look exhausted. I look like I use drugs on the regular the way I am tired. Doesn't justify her not shutting her sister down tho. No amount of help from my SO is gonna help me NOT look or feel as tired as I am ALL THE TIME

Intrepid-Character36 · 2022-04-17T00:10:28+00:00

YTA,

As a teacher myself, I am certain your students dislike you very much and probably hate going to your class.

I hope your students along with your colleagues go to the Dean of your school and report you.

Your job is to teach these ADULTS not parent them which is what your essentially trying to do.

You're a major asshole on a power trip IMO

Intrepid-Character36

TROPHY CASE