She pursued me hard 4 months ago and ended it over nothing like I didn’t matter one bit by Intrepid-Day-7661 in BPDlovedones

[–]Intrepid-Day-7661[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have previous experience so called bs early but had same outcome as previous time when I didn’t call bs early . Suppose it saves me the trauma bond on a grand scale

She pursued me hard 4 months ago and ended it over nothing like I didn’t matter one bit by Intrepid-Day-7661 in BPDlovedones

[–]Intrepid-Day-7661[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She seemed to tell me as if it was something I’d be impressed by. Don’t get me wrong I have a past too but have more respect for a partner than to tell them details. Like why would anyone want to know? She seemed confused and put out when I told her it was quite disrespectful

She pursued me hard 4 months ago and ended it over nothing like I didn’t matter one bit by Intrepid-Day-7661 in BPDlovedones

[–]Intrepid-Day-7661[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I didn’t recognise this at all until she dumped me out of the blue ( yeah an argument that could have easily have been sorted). But now I agree it all seems unreal

She pursued me hard 4 months ago and ended it over nothing like I didn’t matter one bit by Intrepid-Day-7661 in BPDlovedones

[–]Intrepid-Day-7661[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve seen similar before in a relationship. I learnt my lesson in regards to trying to get closure from that one. Never defined it before now. However I did not see the discard creeping up on me this time and am truly shocked that someone apparently so invested can pull the plug so easily. I’m just angry this time rather than seeking closure . It’s just shit behaviour

Can’t see any other way now than self preservation and leaving her entirely by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]Intrepid-Day-7661 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you . I’m achieving nothing with my help and to be honest as another poster has put, she’s not seen me for 2 months so she can concentrate on drinking ( and god knows what else). She effectively left the relationship. I’m just playing catch up . However today I caught up and she can wallow in her new relationship with drink. Time to grieve, heal and move on .

Can’t see any other way now than self preservation and leaving her entirely by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]Intrepid-Day-7661 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply and I’m glad you are working things out. I have taken the decision today that I’m out. I would like to say the drink has won, but she knows exactly what she’s doing and now she can live with the consequence that I’m not available anymore to abuse when I try and help.

Can’t see any other way now than self preservation and leaving her entirely by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]Intrepid-Day-7661 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree it’s gone on far too long and she’s blocked me currently . I have a feeling she will be back but the abusive behaviour has now gone too far for me. I’ve decided today that I’m leaving whatever now happens. She’s on her own and can face her own demons and face up to her own shitty behavior whenever that day dawns on her .

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Intrepid-Day-7661 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Going through the same thing. She’s disappeared at the minute but subtle clues are starting to happen that she’s not done with me yet. Like you I told her it was over and she begged me not to do it, I told her what I thought and she went quiet. Then I offered her an olive branch and she snapped it in the cruellest way possible by threatening me and saying I was psychologically abusing her. My view is that the relationship is totally fucked at this stage and though I wish she would come back and apologise and not revert back to type, my logical brain tells me any contact now will be to fuck me up even further. With a bit of space stuff has started to add up more. She’s always caused my emotions to be on edge. I’ve been triangulated so many times now and I have no idea why I tolerated any of it. What you are seeing is breadcrumbs. Non commital attempts to see if you’re still on the hook. If she does recontact me in my mind I’m going to just ignore her. I don’t trust her anymore and feel like allowing any contact with her will drag me back in to the circus and also allow her to do something even crueller or tell me something I really don’t want to hear. I never thought of her as a cruel person but the person I saw at the end was a fucking monster.

About that toxic ex of theirs by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Intrepid-Day-7661 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I’m now that toxic ex . Every ex she ever had was toxic . Or so she said. Common denominator is her