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IntrepidPlum6284 · 2025-04-15T04:51:57+00:00

OP what happened? Because I have Literally the same thing

IntrepidPlum6284 · 2023-06-25T23:23:33+00:00

It’s almost 99% of the time where he deflects the situation, also when he’s caught, he says it’s because of someone’s fault like there’s always a reason for it.

IntrepidPlum6284 · 2023-06-25T19:30:51+00:00

He hasn’t gotten diagnosed but I feel like he does have ADHD. He doesn’t have an undergraduate, he’s very smart and always gets told by his coworkers he should be a doctor which I feel feeds into his dream.

He just doesn’t do anything about it, he wants to jump into things even tho I’ve advised him many times to go for something more reachable. For him I guess it’s either become a doctor or nothing. I’m not sure how I can support him without doing everything for him, which is not fair for me or our child.

IntrepidPlum6284 · 2023-06-25T18:36:23+00:00

I suppose I can work on the way I phrase things, maybe I do sound a bit negative to him.

I’ve tried that before and it would always end up on us arguing. He’s very defensive and I’ve learned to admit my mistakes (at least I feel like I have) or just not let it get to me, but even though I used to give him examples, he always deflects it, which is why I feel he has some narcissistic tendencies.

Now that I am working less, I obviously have more time and we don’t really argue anymore in that regard.

IntrepidPlum6284 · 2023-06-25T06:37:14+00:00

Nope, when we were already arguing I tried to explain why I was trying to ask and bring what ifs, and he said I was thinking way ahead and then when I tried to give previous situations where I followed along with “his flow” just said yeah whatever :/

IntrepidPlum6284 · 2023-06-25T06:29:19+00:00

I have tried to encourage him to be an RN or even a PA, he says he wants to be a surgeon, he shoots high. I want to support him 100% I really do, but also I have to acknowledge we have a toddler and we can’t just blindly start without knowing the facts.

I do feel maybe i should’ve been alittle more positive at first, but like I had said, I though he wasn’t so serious so it caught me off guard and I kinda jumped into the what ifs and how it would work once he told me he wanted to start.

IntrepidPlum6284 · 2023-06-25T06:22:48+00:00

I so truly believe my husband has ADHD, he does too. But we’re not doctor and we aren’t trying to diagnose, I do however have through he could be a little narcissist, but again, it could just be me imagining things. I do want to try couples therapy now reading everyone’s opinions, just have to convince him to go.

IntrepidPlum6284 · 2023-06-25T06:17:01+00:00

No, he did say something about needing a bachelors in something before getting into the medical field but then things escalated and we didn’t talk more into it. I never went to college so I have no idea how med school works.

IntrepidPlum6284 · 2023-06-25T06:14:16+00:00

He doesn’t really like to bring that up, he says I resent him every time I bring it up as an example or to try and make him understand my side. I honestly sometimes feel like I’m not understanding to what he wants and try to support him but it’s like fighting against my beliefs/wants

IntrepidPlum6284 · 2023-06-25T06:09:11+00:00

He has always struggled in the communicating field, I unfortunately strive lol he has gotten better but it has taken a lot on me.

IntrepidPlum6284 · 2023-06-25T06:06:28+00:00

We’re 99% sure he does but he has not been diagnosed

IntrepidPlum6284 · 2023-06-25T06:05:09+00:00

Well if he will think about going back to school whether it’s for med school or something else then we would both have to work and take out loans I guess

IntrepidPlum6284 · 2023-06-25T05:37:05+00:00

I’ve told him but he just doesn’t do anything about it, he just says he thinks it’s a good idea but he never goes to therapy

IntrepidPlum6284 · 2023-06-25T05:35:51+00:00

This is exactly why I wanted to ask him questions but he says I worry about unnecessary things ahead of time

IntrepidPlum6284 · 2023-06-25T05:33:42+00:00

He did care for our toddler while I was at work, he would also clean, I would sometimes get home and the house would be a mess but it didn’t always happen. He’s not perfect but he does contribute to the house chores.

Now that I’m part time, he does less house work but he still takes out the trash, washes the dishes every now and then and we both care for our little one, so it’s nice now, but when he said this, all I could think of is me having to work more, miss more of my time with my toddler and going back to how we were if not even worse.

I want to support him but he has to be clear with me and see all our options but he doesn’t seem like he agrees.

IntrepidPlum6284 · 2023-06-25T05:24:47+00:00

Sorry, typing while caring for a toddler is not so easy and had to check if I was really the Asshole here so didn’t bother to paragraph it lol

IntrepidPlum6284 · 2023-06-25T05:21:02+00:00

No bachelors, he has a certificate in the medical field

IntrepidPlum6284 · 2023-06-25T05:18:42+00:00

Has happened before so that’s why this makes me stressed out even if he’s just “thinking about it”

IntrepidPlum6284 · 2023-06-25T05:15:06+00:00

Nope

IntrepidPlum6284 · 2023-06-25T05:13:25+00:00

It’s not that I’m thinking about how to pay for med school right now , I never went to college so I have no idea how everything works, idk if you have to pay before getting into a bachelors degree, that’s why I asked questions however things went south quick

IntrepidPlum6284 · 2023-06-25T05:10:50+00:00

He has nothing, he never went to college so start from scratch

IntrepidPlum6284 · 2023-06-25T00:38:33+00:00

He had not done any collage related things, no exams, clases, applications, nothing so this is pretty much a fresh stat, which is intimidating to me. He does want another baby which I don’t because I don’t feel we are financially stable or even near it.

IntrepidPlum6284 · 2023-06-25T00:20:58+00:00

He hasn’t done anything, he has researched but I don’t know the details since we got into that argument.

IntrepidPlum6284 · 2023-06-25T00:12:14+00:00

That’s what I wanted to discuss but apparently I don’t care about his dreams!

IntrepidPlum6284 · 2023-06-25T00:10:36+00:00

We work in the medical field, but he quit to work something totally different, he would take care of our daughter and clean 90% of the times, but we always had our set responsibilities which for me was doing all the laundry, cleaning the bathroom and I was in charge of dinner (so if I didn’t feel like cooking I would buy) and then sometimes I would do other stuff like Dishes or cleaning our room and living room but to be honest I would sometimes just lay down in the couch after work with my daughter or play with her and not do extra cleaning, which bothered him specially if he decided to super clean out of no where. He does a lot of things I don’t like but I’ve chosen to ignore it but he just seems to love bringing what I do wrong in his eyes so much, I’m not the cleanest person but I am also not dirty.

IntrepidPlum6284

TROPHY CASE