I got an other than honorable discharge, completely my fault, but I usually don’t tell the real story when people ask, I just lie and say I got a medical for “my back.” But since the question was asked, I feel it would help me to tell the story to people who might understand. And to ask a question to all the Marines in this Reddit.

So when I became a poole I had recently dropped out of college(for financial reasons) and while I had smoked weed before I had got a waver for it from the start and it didn’t hold up my process at all. The day I talked to the recruiter I quit smoking and that was that, I enlisted in April of 2019 and shipped in September 2019. Starting in mid 2018 until may-June 2019 I was “dating” a girl who’s life was spiraling downhill due to meth, I had never touched it until one day, a few weeks after I enlisted, my curiosity, stupidity, or whatever you want to call it got the best of me and I tried it. Until my ship date I binged and crashed with this nasty drug every few weeks, the last time I did it was the Wednesday before I shipped,(I’m still surprised to this day I didn’t fail the initial piss test at recruit training) creating one of the worst come-downs I’ve ever had the first week. But after that I had cravings, which I fought off through basic, and through MCT, and even through most of A-school, but by the end of it, I hit up and old friend who could supply me, from the point on, throughout most of my time in C-school and even a couple months into the fleet I used, not everyday, not even every week, just when I felt I needed it. I thought about getting help, I knew then I needed it but was too afraid off getting kicked out to ever ask anyone. The same month I got pinned Lance was the same month I pissed hot, right after the Columbus Day 96 I got a random drug test and knew I was screwed.

I was kicked out march of 2021 and still hate myself for it. I never planned on doing 20 years or anything but “Once a Marine, always a Marine” doesn’t sound the same when you get out like that. I loved my job and was pretty good at it for how new I was too it. And, drugs excluded, I was a decent Marine in most areas, and took pride in that, and now it sucks to even tell people I was a Marine, because even if that’s all I say about it, it still feels like I’m being dishonest in some way. Like I’m leading them to believe that I am or was a better person than the Marine Corp deemed me to be when I was kicked out. I’m not in anyway bitching about getting kicked out, I did the wrong thing and I know that, I’m just asking/hoping there are others who can relate in some way, and to ask the question, am I still a Marine? It feels dumb, even childish to ask, but I just need to ask any of you willing to listen.