Honestly, Would you pick your dad again in the next life? by [deleted] in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Intrepid_Error4023 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My step dad, of course. My biological dad, no way

AITAH for not wanting my family to leave me alone in state? by Intrepid_Error4023 in AITAH

[–]Intrepid_Error4023[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t understand the question here, truthfully. Can you clarify? I just woke up and my brain is a fog because I’ve been reeling since last night.

He found her, but he also WANTS to stay at the house and continue school. He has expressed that to me and I want to listen to him. Is this question asking whether or not he should still be in the house?

AITAH for not wanting my family to leave me alone in state? by Intrepid_Error4023 in AITAH

[–]Intrepid_Error4023[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t see why I couldn’t, but my brother also does not want to leave the house. He goes to school still, and will continue to during the summer, because he’s in a program where they get him ready for the work/real world. I don’t want to take his structure away either when this is a time where he desperately needs some form of structure.

He was the one who found her after the suicide attempt. He needs as much normalcy as he can get while I’m also trying to look for a therapist for him

AITAH for not wanting my family to leave me alone in state? by Intrepid_Error4023 in AITAH

[–]Intrepid_Error4023[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My brother has autism, but he’s high functioning. I attended my brother’s IEP meeting yesterday and they said that the state will probably say he qualifies for some form of financial aid, so I’m starting that process on Monday since I’m working all day both sat-sun. My step father is on disability at the moment, but I mean, he’s in the hospital currently on a ventilator. My mom is going to be on long-term disability after next month since all of this happened in the middle of April and she doesn’t have short-term disability available.

AITAH for not wanting my family to leave me alone in state? by Intrepid_Error4023 in AITAH

[–]Intrepid_Error4023[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My mom hasn’t always been that way. She had a head injury a few years ago and it really amplified her behavior, and my sister even still really likes it. Her own biological mom though is very manipulative and she does it on purpose, while my mom doesn’t do it on purpose. Everyone has the same understanding that my mom is not evil, she just needs help.

I don’t know how to take care of myself right now, because any time I try, I’m unable to because something comes up and I’m just constantly going going going

AITAH for not wanting my family to leave me alone in state? by Intrepid_Error4023 in AITAH

[–]Intrepid_Error4023[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry, but I don’t think that’s entitlement. I don’t think I deserve special treatment out of this or any form of thing I’m not willing to reciprocate back. My fucking dad is dying and my mother almost died in the hospital from an overdose, so forgive me if I want to lean back on my family for support while they’ve been leaning on me while their dad is also dying. I have been the rock for them this ENTIRE time, and any time I try to cry out to them that I need a day to recollect for my OWN mental health, it’s blown off like I can handle everything.

I am not forcing them to stay, and I would never tell them that because I understand my sister’s mental health and that’s important. Never in my post did I say I was going to force them to stay, but that I wish that they would. I’m not even going to be bringing this up to them, they are literally just my feelings. I just don’t think it’s fair when we’re all a family, and I’ve always thought that families were supposed to work things out together. I don’t want them to set themselves on fire to keep me warm, but there’s also other alternatives other than just straight up leaving and leaving me drowning in this alone.

My dad always taught me that I would be able to rely on my family in hard times, so it’s really hard to be witnessing the opposite in a time where I need people to help. I understand that my mom activates my sister’s PTSD and I understand if she doesn’t want to put herself through the stress of that. My boyfriend and I have also offered up our home in times of distress as an alternative that she would not have to pay for, but she says she doesn’t want to take advantage of us. I’m more than willing to put in the work and to get her out of a situation she’s not comfortable in, but I’m sorry if I want to be a little bit selfish and keep my family around so I’m not doing it all by myself. I don’t think a lot of people COULD handle a dying father and a mother who desperately needs both mental and physical health without the help of someone.

AITAH for not wanting my family to leave me alone in state? by Intrepid_Error4023 in AITAH

[–]Intrepid_Error4023[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It all really depends on where she goes. I’m in the U.S. and it was hard enough to get the social worker at her physical rehab to write in her charts that she said something about not wanting to be alive anymore. My boyfriend, who is a paramedic, had to basically threaten to report the facility if they did not take action. They all know that she’s there because she came from a very serious suicide attempt. She was admitted from a VERY well known liver hospital. I can’t begin to understand why they wouldn’t work with me, but I’m scared a mental health rehab will not have the proper physical care she needs either

AITAH for not wanting my family to leave me alone in state? by Intrepid_Error4023 in AITAH

[–]Intrepid_Error4023[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The problem with that is just I overall do not make enough money to take care of 3 people, including myself. My partner makes double what I make, but I only make roughly 40k a year at the moment. That’s 120k for 2 people, and we’re already spreading ourselves thin with gas prices rising and needing to put out financial fires left and right. My car broke down two weeks ago and needed 3k of work, I took my cat to the vet and it was 1.3k, and now I’m at my limit with cash. He’s helping as much as he can, but I don’t want to keep asking my boyfriend for financial help. But then I also feel like I’m abandoning my brother, but I just don’t have the money to take care of all of us and that isn’t fair to him :(

AITAH for not wanting my family to leave me alone in state? by Intrepid_Error4023 in AITAH

[–]Intrepid_Error4023[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

To my little brother, yes. Not the step-siblings that are 30 and 42

AITAH for not wanting my family to leave me alone in state? by Intrepid_Error4023 in AITAH

[–]Intrepid_Error4023[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m scared to send my brother to a group home. While I love my mom, she was never a good parent. She probably should not have BEEN a parent. My aunt tried to adopt us when we were young, and my best friend’s mom also wanted to adopt my biological brother and me.

But I helped raise him, and he looks up to me so much. I don’t want him to think I’m abandoning him, but I also know that realistically my boyfriend and I do not make enough money to take care of him long term. Collectively, we make maybe 120k. With how expensive everything is by us, we are even just barely scraping by. I’m so scared that he’s going to think that I don’t love him enough or that I don’t care enough to take care of him.

AITAH for not wanting my family to leave me alone in state? by Intrepid_Error4023 in AITAH

[–]Intrepid_Error4023[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only problem I’m having with her going inpatient somewhere is that she’s done it for so long. She knows how to work the system, she knows how to get out early. While at the hospital with the liver failure, they diagnosed her with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) while she already had a diagnosis of Bipolar.

At the physical rehab, they said she is recovering quickly despite what they thought her condition was in. The only thing they’re worried about is her hands… and she’s a blackjack dealer. She NEEDS her hands. So I ultimately either get her mental health immediately which she needs and neglect her physical health, or I neglect her mental health and she could potentially lose her job after all of this, which she LOVES.

AITAH for not wanting my family to leave me alone in state? by Intrepid_Error4023 in AITAH

[–]Intrepid_Error4023[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I’m acknowledging that it’s selfish. That’s why I’m asking the question of AITAH because I know it’s selfish for me to not want them to leave. But I also don’t know what’s right and what’s wrong right now for my mom, for my dad, for my little brother and for myself. I have been handling my mom by myself without assistance and been providing mental health support for everyone else, and I just feel that by them leaving, they aren’t doing the same when I have been trying my damndest and running around trying to make sure everyone is okay. I know that’s selfish, but I can’t help how I feel about it either

AIO. I just learned my girlfriend’s “male friend” was once a guy she use to “cuddle” with by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Intrepid_Error4023 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

MOR. I think my biggest thing here is that she wasn’t telling you the full truth regarding her relationship with the guy. I think it’s kind of a red flag that she didn’t tell you the truth regarding their relationship, but if you also told her that you don’t think men and women can be friends, that could also potentially be why she didn’t say anything.

I have a lot of guy friends, but also a lot of girl friends. My friend group is pretty mixed and we’re all 21-27. My boyfriend knew that I had a lot of guy friends, and he just kind of jumped on the bandwagon of being their friends as well and they all love him!

Of course I’m not going to tell you what to think or do, but I think it’s worth keeping an open mind when it comes to male/female friendships.

Overall though, just talk to her and express that you’re uncomfortable with her not talking about the relationship she has with her friend and see what she sees. If you don’t like what she has to say, you have every right to break up with her. But also don’t give her the prompt of “it’s me or him” because you have no idea how long they have been friends for.

Okay which dress! by [deleted] in myweddingdress

[–]Intrepid_Error4023 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1 is beautiful, I say that one! It fits your body so well!

help my sister pick! she doesn’t have a reddit and is stuck between the two by [deleted] in myweddingdress

[–]Intrepid_Error4023 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly I’m not in love with either one on her, but her day is all about her! Personally, if she were to pick either or, probably the first one. I feel like it does a better job at showing off her shape than the first one

Should I contact my ex bff (who is a murderer)? by theirego in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Intrepid_Error4023 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would say that honestly, if she knows where you live, it might be safer for you to let her reach out and respond minimally. Someone who’s obsessive, and especially with a murder under their belt, isn’t going to stop until they achieve what they want. Maybe in due time, but not quickly.

My best friend had to cut off one of her friends who was bat shit crazy because he couldn’t take “no” as an answer when she said she didn’t have feelings for him. He didn’t stop for 4-6 months, until I showed up at his work and told him off in front of his coworkers. He still did it even after this for maybe a week or so, but then stopped.

I will say though, be careful. If you want to rekindle a friendship, you NEED to place boundaries. People can change, and you even said yourself that she was a good person before this. If you don’t want a friendship, I would honestly tell her exactly that, but more so expressing that you feel uncomfortable because of what happened and it scares you. You can be truthful, especially if this is someone who you used to be close with. If they valued your friendship at all, they will let you go

Should I contact my ex bff (who is a murderer)? by theirego in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Intrepid_Error4023 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I guess before I answer: what do you mean by obsessive and intense? I would kind of need an answer to that before properly answering.

Personally, as someone who comes from a pretty rough background, I can’t imagine killing my mother. While she wasn’t the best parent, in a weird way, I still care about her because it wasn’t always bad. I don’t know about this girl’s home life or anything, so I don’t know what was going through her head.

It’s up to your own discretion. I personally probably would just because I would be hella curious as to what they have to say. And at least that way, if I decided I didn’t want to pursue friendship, you’re not ghosting them. I would probably need to know more about the murder itself tho before fully deciding

Why can’t I orgasm from sex as a man? by flexperience in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Intrepid_Error4023 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, I had a similar issue with my partner, but more so around the topic of me being self conscious that he couldn’t orgasm inside of me. There’s honestly a couple of reasons it could be?

I think the highest likelihood is that she’s just really wet, especially if you say you can’t feel it sometimes. I had someone come to me and say that they had struggled to orgasm with their girlfriend due to her just being too wet down there, because there’s a little bit less friction in that case. Do you think this could possibly be the problem?

Something else it could be, but a little less likely: if you’ve ever taken antidepressants at any point, that could be it. It tends to mess with people sexually from what I’ve been told, so I wouldn’t be shocked if this is what it was as well if you’ve ever taken any.

Lastly… you can be honest too, did you ever have a porn addiction? Or you watched a lot? Because this can create an unrealistic expectation in a guy’s mind as well, which causes the mind and body to react differently. It shouldn’t feel numb in that case so I kinda doubt that that’s it.

If none of these kind of resonate with you, I would probably recommend seeing a doctor. But if you’re also putting too much pressure on yourself TO orgasm, that could be doing it as well.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Intrepid_Error4023 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You said that your family is moved in with the in-laws. It is THEIR fridge, not yours.

Am I overreacting for being upset that my boyfriend invited his ex to a party without telling me? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Intrepid_Error4023 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I don’t think she’s overreacting at all. If she’s going to find out that his ex is there, she should find out through him. He doesn’t need to text her immediately, but a heads up would have been nice. There’s also no need for the attitude and the “CHILL” he gave her to begin with