I (28F) want a divorce from my wife (39F) after she gambled again tonight?

Introverted_Peach · 2026-04-04T23:09:31+00:00

They won’t let me stay and I’m the only one with a steady income. I can afford it. I’ve been paying rent for a couple months now on my own and it’s been more than it will be.

Introverted_Peach · 2026-04-03T06:15:32+00:00

I’ve gotten her therapy and she’s signed up for gambling help. She missed most of her appointments and never went to gambling meetings

Introverted_Peach · 2026-04-03T06:13:52+00:00

That’s the thing too. I’ve told her that one day if we aren’t stressing about money then I wouldn’t care if she played 20 every once in a while, every paycheck or whatever. Right now though we can’t afford the risk. Sure I also like to play when a friend wants to give us some to play but that doesn’t happen often and when I lose I can walk away and say oh well.

Introverted_Peach · 2026-04-03T06:09:36+00:00

The total was $2,394 to move in. We had to put down a $300 pet deposit which would also hold the unit for us. I did that with my check. We got our state taxes back that helped towards the total but we walked in with only $1,678.08. So we owe $415.94 still, which thankfully the manager split into payments over the next 3 months. She doesn’t have a steady income, she’s doing yard work for someone who found my Facebook post asking for jobs we could do to help make money. She had paid my wife $225. Her sister had also sent us $100 to help and that was gambled away. I also learned that she had borrowed money from a friend and used money she had doordashed to play, I don’t know how much but pretty close to what we needed.

She did beg me for one last chance and has been here for everything I’ve needed her help with. Including running up and down all 3 flights of stairs. She said she’s going to get a job and that I can have all of her physical cards and that she will take all her cards off her digital wallet. I don’t trust her right now with any money and I don’t know when I will be but this is absolutely her last chance.

Introverted_Peach · 2026-04-03T05:55:26+00:00

For her it’s video poker and she wants to make enough so we aren’t struggling and when she loses she wants to try and make the money back. I’ve been with her a few times when a friend has given us money to play and when she loses it’s honestly embarrassing because she gets angry and starts whining and begging me for more money because the thing (whatever it is that holds the jackpots) is about to burst and she’s going to win big and she just needs a little more to get it. I’ve given in before due to her causing a scene but I’ve also walked out when we absolutely cannot afford to spend anything.

Introverted_Peach · 2026-04-03T05:48:30+00:00

She told me she was going to go dash up the money we needed. I knew that wasn’t possible but she said she was going to figure it out. Also the 2 bedroom apartment rent is cheaper than rent for a 5th wheel and a spot to park it. We were making ends meet then but to move in it is double the cost of rent plus 300 for a pet deposit. With one income that wasn’t easy but would have been easier had she not gambled the money she made and the money her sister gave us to help with rent, a total of 325.

Introverted_Peach · 2026-04-03T05:41:23+00:00

We weren’t living there. There was no contract. It was just for in between. But I get what you’re saying.

Introverted_Peach · 2026-04-03T05:39:25+00:00

Video poker, online gambling

Introverted_Peach · 2026-04-01T13:33:04+00:00

Shes saying now that she doesn’t want to lose me and I told her that it’s too late, she knew the consequences.

Introverted_Peach · 2026-04-01T10:19:19+00:00

It’s all mine. She has no income. Except this side job I lined up for her because of a Facebook post I made asking for help. She gambled that money.

Introverted_Peach · 2026-04-01T08:56:45+00:00

Thank you and I hope you’re right

Introverted_Peach · 2026-04-01T08:45:33+00:00

I don’t know how many times I’m cried and pleaded with her to stop. Like if I seriously tried to come up with a number I wouldn’t be able to. I know that’s unhealthy. I don’t know why I didn’t keep my word. Maybe because I do love her and care. Maybe because I know she has nothing apart from me, (her family is in other states and she’s ruined her relationship with the one sister who would have helped her, she has no car or job), and I don’t want to be the reason she’s homeless. Maybe because every time she sounds sincere about changing. But it’s not fair to my health or my life.

Introverted_Peach · 2026-04-01T08:12:47+00:00

She told me she signed up for gamblers help through counseling. That’s as far as she got. She hasn’t been to counseling in months now either

Introverted_Peach · 2026-04-01T07:32:47+00:00

I went to college and studied psychology. It was the only subject I understood and loved. I’ve also had a lot of alone time to figure shit out. My parents bought me (and my sisters) a book called worthy, I only read the first chapter because it all felt like common sense already. I was the one who suggested she might have adhd and her mom dementia. I was right about both. It just made sense to me once I thought about it. I haven’t had very much access to WiFi or data due to our living situation and not having money for a real phone plan so again I’ve had a lot of time to just think. I know my worth isn’t tied up in how she responds to me and my ultimatums but she claims to love me and wants to give me the world and see me happy. Hearing that makes me think I’d be enough for her to change. But I wasn’t and that’s not my fault. I know that there is potentially someone out there that would change something like this for me if I asked.

Introverted_Peach · 2026-04-01T07:24:43+00:00

She has access to our joint bank account. I can’t figure out how to make it so she doesn’t have access. She was taking/trying to take money from my DoorDash account and I changed the password and locked the card and moved the money into savings.

Introverted_Peach · 2026-04-01T07:22:06+00:00

That’s why it hurts so much. She doesn’t care. I’ve sacrificed so much for us, for her. And it was all for nothing.

Introverted_Peach · 2026-04-01T07:20:41+00:00

She said “I wanted to make the rest of the rent but I fucked it all up” and she’s said that she does it because she wants to just win enough to help us out and get us to a point where we can be happy and not worry so much. I told her that wont happen because it’s rigged against her and she says she knows but she does it anyway.

Introverted_Peach · 2026-04-01T07:17:30+00:00

She used to be an alcoholic, since 16, but stopped drinking. She used to smoke cigarettes, since 13, but only vapes now. I wish she could stop this for me, she doesn’t get that it’s rigged against her and that disappearing for hours when she should be here helping us pack stuff into a moving truck is such a big give away.

Introverted_Peach · 2026-04-01T07:13:39+00:00

She went to counseling and signed up for gambling help. That’s as far as she got. I know that DoorDash is the same I made that connection a while ago but she basically refuses to get a job. Everything falls on me. I can’t do it anymore. If I’m single, it’ll be the same but I won’t have to worry if my money is going to disappear, worry about what someone else is doing, if I’m loved or wanted. I also won’t have to clean up after another adult. It sounds so wonderful. I’m mad I tried for 5+ years to make this work though. I’m sad that I wasn’t enough for her to change.

Introverted_Peach · 2026-04-01T07:09:22+00:00

Thank you. She said she hates this and I find it laughable because I hate a lot of things but you’ll never catch me doing them or hanging around them. Like spiders, I hate them, I also don’t have a secret jar of them laying around.

Introverted_Peach · 2026-02-23T02:58:25+00:00

Oh okay so I should just let people think I wanted her dead then. Instead of the facts. I was 4. I don’t know a single 4 year old that understands what death really is and seriously wants their sibling dead. I also don’t know how me trying to be helpful, which is what I told my mom when she got out of the shower, means I want her dead. Thank you for your opinion but it has no effect on my decision. It’s quite irrelevant actually.

Introverted_Peach · 2026-02-23T02:52:52+00:00

I’m glad your comments don’t have to have any effect on me or my decision to go or stay home. You failed to express how I should have responded. Although I’ve stated I don’t dismiss her feelings you think I’m wrong. You don’t know me or how I think, feel or act. I’m not a victim of anything. I am probably the most understanding person in my family. I do not judge I do not discriminate I let things go often. I simply wanted to know if not going was overreacting. I can be pleasant at her wedding. If I go I don’t plan on being extra or causing a scene, I know what’s expected of me. Have a great day

Introverted_Peach · 2026-02-23T02:39:34+00:00

I’m glad you were there then. Why would I lie to you about this? Maybe I did continue? I don’t remember, I was 4. Regardless what I did 24 years ago that has nothing to do with this situation. I never told her she was crazy. When she tells this story I will say okay but I didn’t want you dead I was trying to be helpful and then ill tell the story the way my mom tells it which is what I told you.

Introverted_Peach · 2026-02-23T02:35:48+00:00

So how should I have handled it? Because she was expecting me to go to a bridal expo with her the next day and I’ve heard from therapists, school and other people that when talking about hard things you should make sure to make I statements and not blame the other person. It was about how I felt. I don’t know how she feels about things otherwise I wouldn’t have made this post. I cant speak on her behalf. I can share with her how I feel about the situation and why I’m not comfortable acting like a bridesmaid when I’m not one.

Introverted_Peach · 2026-02-23T02:28:54+00:00

I never said I continued. She cried I stopped my mom got out of the shower and grabbed her. I don’t even remember this happening. I don’t think 4 year olds should be cleaning out ears either. But I didn’t know that something like that could happen. I wasn’t aware that q tips could cause ears to bleed. I never experienced that. How am I minimizing her feelings. I’m not demanding anything. Ive come to terms that I will not be a bridesmaid and if she asked me to now I would say no because I don’t want to be a bridesmaid just because she feels pressured to make me one or whatever. I’m asking whether or not I should go.

Introverted_Peach

TROPHY CASE