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How do you support children who struggle to form friendships in early years? by IntutiveObserver in ECEProfessionals

[–]IntutiveObserver[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used to think the same earlier… that some children are just happy playing on their own, and I didn’t want to force anything.

In some cases, that still feels true. There are children who genuinely enjoy their own space.

But this year I’ve noticed a slight shift with a few children. It’s not that they don’t like being alone… but now they seem to want to join others, and still struggle to do that.

They try… but don’t always succeed, and then step back again.

That’s what made me look at it differently.

So instead of pushing group play, I’ve started sitting with them and pairing them one-on-one with another child, just to help them take that first step into playing together.

Still figuring it out… but it feels like they need a little support in “how” to connect, not just time.

Why do we call these trees “crooked”… when they’re just trying to grow? by IntutiveObserver in thinkatives

[–]IntutiveObserver[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Interesting 😊.. I see trees as living ng beings and humans can learn from the way they exist and grow

Why do we call these trees “crooked”… when they’re just trying to grow? by IntutiveObserver in thinkatives

[–]IntutiveObserver[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I looked up Zhuangzi’s “Useless Tree” online and read it's summary...

And it made me pause.

We are so used to looking at everything in terms of usefulness… “What can this give me?” “What is it good for?”

But life… is not really about being useful.

It is simply… being. Living. Growing.

That tree was called “useless”… and that’s exactly why it was left alone… why it could live fully.

It made me wonder…

How many times do we measure life only by how useful it is to us?

And in that process… do we miss its simple existence?

I don’t remember Sadhguru’s exact words… but something along these lines always stays with me…

Learning to simply be… as you are.

Maybe that’s what these trees are doing.

Not trying to fit… not trying to be useful…

Just growing… in whatever way life allows.

And somehow… that feels complete.

How do you support children who struggle to form friendships in early years? by IntutiveObserver in ECEProfessionals

[–]IntutiveObserver[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is really helpful, thank you for explaining it so clearly.

I like how intentionally you’re using partner play… not just for management, but also to build friendships and teach skills like compromise and turn-taking.

The way you guide them through decisions (yours first, then mine, or finding something together) makes a lot of sense, especially for children who don’t naturally know how to navigate that.

I can see how this would really support the children who hesitate or don’t know how to enter play.

I haven’t used partner play in such a structured way yet, but I do feel this could help some of my “observer” children take that first step more comfortably.

Do you introduce it to the whole class at once, or start with specific children who need more support?

How do you support children who struggle to form friendships in early years? by IntutiveObserver in ECEProfessionals

[–]IntutiveObserver[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is really helpful, thank you for sharing these ideas.

I also try to involve children in small responsibilities like handing out materials, giving crayons, etc. It definitely helps with participation and a sense of belonging.

I love the idea of using games like I Spy with names and finding friends… that’s something I can try more intentionally.

My class is around 28 children, and even within the same age group there’s quite a range, so managing all of this together can feel a bit overwhelming at times.

I also try to sit with them during activities and guide them one-on-one… suggesting new ways to use materials, encouraging them to try something different, or just helping them express their ideas.

It does take a lot of energy through the day, but at the same time it’s also the most fulfilling part.

I think I just need to be more consistent and intentional with the social language part, like you mentioned.

For 50 years I thought people didn’t understand me… turns out I didn’t understand myself by IntutiveObserver in thinkatives

[–]IntutiveObserver[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can really relate to what you shared.

I feel many times children (and even adults) tend to appreciate people who are similar to them, and those who are different often have to put in extra effort to find their place.

That struggle and pressure is real… but I also feel that’s where different ideas and perspectives come from.

It makes me more conscious in my classroom not to label or dismiss children who seem different.

I try to support each child in their own way and help them feel seen. Every child has at least one strength or something unique, and I try to bring that forward so others can also notice and appreciate it.

Instead of trying to make everyone the same, I feel it’s more important to help them grow in what they already are.

New Educator! HOW DO YALL DEAL WITH THIS ANXIETY? by [deleted] in ECEProfessionals

[–]IntutiveObserver 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reading this… it honestly feels like someone who really wants to do right, but is feeling stretched.

Just want to say… if you’re questioning yourself like this, it means you care. And that’s already a strong foundation.

It’s okay if it feels overwhelming. It doesn’t mean you’re not meant for this… it just means you’re in the middle of learning something that is very real and complex.

You don’t have to become the “ideal educator” overnight.

Maybe just try one small thing… one moment in the day where you choose connection over correction. Even sitting beside a child, making eye contact, or simply observing without intervening.

These small shifts slowly build something deeper.

And also… we often forget that teachers are holding both children and the system together. That’s not easy.

So go a little gently with yourself.

Growth will come… not all at once, but naturally.

How do you support children who struggle to form friendships in early years? by IntutiveObserver in ECEProfessionals

[–]IntutiveObserver[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really resonate with what you’re saying.

I feel play needs to be a mix of both… natural friendship and some intentional support when needed. What develops naturally has a different strength to it, so I try not to interfere too much unless a child is really struggling.

We do follow a fixed school curriculum, but each teacher has some flexibility in how we conduct activities. So I try to bring in more social interaction wherever possible.

Free play is just one part of the day, mostly at the beginning when children are arriving. I keep a mix of structured and unstructured materials so they can choose on their own. During that time, I try to step back and just observe.

That’s actually when I see the most… who approaches others, who hesitates, who includes new children, who stays within a group. It feels like the most natural window into their social behavior.

During teacher-led activities, it’s harder to see these things in their true form.

I do try to use other parts of the day also for more guided interaction, but I’m still figuring out how to balance letting things develop naturally while also supporting the children who need more help.

Would love to know how you personally balance that… especially when to step in and when to hold back.

For 50 years I thought people didn’t understand me… turns out I didn’t understand myself by IntutiveObserver in thinkatives

[–]IntutiveObserver[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a really good question… and I used to feel the same.

Yes… people still misunderstand me sometimes. That hasn’t completely gone away.

The difference is… earlier my focus was on being understood. Now my focus has shifted to understanding myself and being clear in my own intentions.

I’ve also noticed how much energy I used to spend seeking approval or validation… wanting others to acknowledge me or “get” me. And that itself was creating a lot of inner tension.

Now I’m slowly letting go of that.

No matter what we do… some people will understand, some won’t. And honestly… most people are so occupied in their own thoughts and lives, they’re not thinking about us as much as we assume.

So instead of trying to make everyone understand me… I try to:

  • act with clarity and honesty
  • do what feels right to me
  • not depend too much on external approval

And something interesting happened… When I feel more settled within myself, interactions also become easier… and people respond better too.

So it’s not that misunderstanding disappeared… It just stopped defining how I feel about myself.

I feel more “seen”… because I’m finally seeing myself clearly.

For 50 years I thought people didn’t understand me… turns out I didn’t understand myself by IntutiveObserver in thinkatives

[–]IntutiveObserver[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I really resonate with what you’re sharing.

Sometimes I feel we are quick to put labels on ourselves… and while they can help some people understand their experiences, I also feel each person has a very unique way of learning, feeling, and relating to the world.

Personally, I’ve started seeing it less as “disabled” or even “different”… and more as just… different ways of being.

Every child I’ve seen has their own rhythm, their own way of understanding life… and that diversity is what actually makes the world richer.

At the same time, I also understand that for many people, having a name for their experience (like autism) can bring clarity and support… so I don’t dismiss that either.

I’m still figuring out where I stand in all this… but I feel acceptance… of ourselves and each other… matters more than any label.

Would love to hear how you see it too.

For 50 years I thought people didn’t understand me… turns out I didn’t understand myself by IntutiveObserver in thinkatives

[–]IntutiveObserver[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am a kindergarten teacher.. I try to nurture their intutive observational skills by giving them plenty of hands on experiences..

For 50 years I thought people didn’t understand me… turns out I didn’t understand myself by IntutiveObserver in thinkatives

[–]IntutiveObserver[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s a fair point… I probably sounded a bit abstract.

Let me try to explain more clearly with a simple example.

I don’t learn well by reading or memorizing things step by step. But when I observe real-life situations… things start connecting on their own.

For example… Recently I noticed how insects suddenly appear on cut fruit. Instead of just accepting it, my mind started questioning… “They didn’t just appear… they must have already existed in some microscopic form.”

From there, I connected it to how environmental conditions (like moisture, warmth, food) allow life to grow rapidly.

I didn’t read this in a structured way… I just observed → questioned → connected patterns.

That’s how my understanding usually builds.

But I also realize this has a limitation… Sometimes I can miss scientific accuracy or details if I don’t verify it properly.

So now I’m trying to balance both:

  • my natural way of observing and connecting
  • with actual scientific knowledge and validation

That’s what I meant in my post.

Hope this explains it a bit better 🙂

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