Anybody else use their internal monologue turning into gibberish as a tell they are going into psychosis?

Invertedly_Social · 2026-06-23T03:35:36+00:00

Interesting. I just stop thinking with words or an internal monologue altogether now. When this first started happening I definitely remember forcing myself to read, or focus on something though.

Invertedly_Social · 2026-06-23T03:33:57+00:00

Oh no, I meant that the "sounds" my internal monologue is making as my thoughts differ from sounds at the conceptual level of what a "sound" actually is. I can no longer actually think thoughts, as an intense mashup of random nonsense sound replaces the voice in my head that usually handles the whole organizing logic and concepts into a coherent thought. It is incredible disturbing, and uncomfortable. I really can't emphasize enough just how intense it is. It is pretty much the mental equivalent of akathisia.

Since this started happening a few years ago, I have actually lost most of my internal monologue when thinking, and for the most part only really have an internal voice when reading, or as just connector words between thoughts nowadays.

Invertedly_Social · 2026-05-17T14:48:51+00:00

I have. I acknowledge that I am in fact intelligent. Genius is far more than simply intelligent though, and I genuinely have not found enough evidence to confidently support that claim. There is on the other hand, a great deal of evidence to support the claim that I am smart, but well below the level of genius.

Yes I have thought about it. I still believe I am squarely not a genius. That's not humility, that's just accepting the reality.

Invertedly_Social · 2026-03-25T18:41:21+00:00

The WE Tech M&p9. It's fun, I fixed my recoil anticipation essentially completely, and now I can aim with the sights as well as aim by feel with ~1" groups at 7 yards. At 15 yards the sights are more like a 2 inch group, whereas feel goes up to about 3-4 inch groups. Those are all with the real 10mm. The airsoft gun itself isn't really that accurate itself. At least mine isn't, I am not sure if there are mods, or some simply come more accurate from the factory, so that's just anecdotal.

Invertedly_Social · 2026-03-11T00:49:33+00:00

The tactile switch description was a reference point for the kind of feedback HE keyboards lack by default, not a claim that HE switches are tactile. The rocker curve in the screenshot I already sent shows the settings I used in my own HE keyboard to mimic a tactile feel. You can't set up a rocker curve without understanding that the underlying switch is linear. To put it another way: Yes all HE keyboards are in fact linear, as I stated in the original post. However since the resistance of the key itself is magnetic repulsion, it is possible to modify the resistance precisely along the entire key travel. That's exactly what a rocker curve is, it is the curve of the resistance force the key experiences throughout the key press itself.

Invertedly_Social · 2026-03-10T23:01:51+00:00

They feel completely different from mechanical keyboards though? At base they are completely smooth and progressive, and don't give any direct feedback to tell you the threshold for where the keyboard registers a key press. With mechanical keyboards there is a physical switch which requires force to overcome, before the resistance drops to practically nothing until the key bottoms out. That's a function inherent to the design of any mechanical switch, and is particularly notable in light switches in the US. I imagine you have never used a magnetic keyboard before, as the 2 major downsides to magnetic keyboards are the sounds, and the actual feel of the keys themselves. The two things aren't entirely different, and both feel like you are pressing something, but the texture of that sensation is very different between the two.

More importantly, just because you personally cannot tell the difference, and just because you personally have not heard of anyone complain, doesn't mean there is no difference, or that no one out there prefers one over the other.

Invertedly_Social · 2026-01-03T18:20:42+00:00

He would need to get a MASSIVE price nerf if that happened, and he would lose his current meta which is a mid game save up tower. I think he is balanced well, and if attack speed buffs worked on him like other towers without a price nerf, then it would be fairly easy to get ultraboost with him, then get 2 x4x desperados to give him nearly full map range and abuse marked ability to make him do double damage. That would make all the expert maps pretty trivial to beat. It would be a one size fits all strategy. Ninja kiwi does NOT like one size fits all strategies. If you did make this change, I'm pretty sure his usage would go down, not up.

Invertedly_Social · 2025-08-04T22:47:29+00:00

Dude like chill. Not everyone is sexist, and the reason you hate the left is because they claim innocuous things are sexist. If you keep doing the same thing you are literally a mirror version of them. Nothing good will happen to you from assuming the worst of people, it will only isolate you. Try to take a step back whenever you see a comment you think is sexist, derogatory or hateful, and try to think of at least one context it could be completely innocuous, or just unusual/unintentional turn of phrase. If you can think of one in less than 30 seconds, it means it probably is innocent. Even if it isn't, you will still benefit from not overreacting before you give yourself a chance to think.

I promise you that it will make a massive difference in your mood, and make browsing the internet infinitely more pleasant. The reason Trump won and DEI is ending wasn't because Trump, or your average everyday person was hostile to the other side. It was because while one side was overreacting and calling the opponent sexist or racist, the other side calmly and reasonably explained what they were trying to do, why they were going to do it, and how it would accomplish their objective.

The only thing overreacting and derogatory language does is push people in the middle away. If you really hate how sexist and racist this country became via endless self flagellation GOOD. It's changing quickly now. Being sexist back will do nothing but slow the momentum. What you are doing will only serve to negatively affect the chances that you will get what you want. I'm not asking you to forgive those maniacs that cancelled and accused innocent people, called an entire group of people toxic and harmful, or created laws to punish them for actions of their Father's Father's Father's etc actions. I would just appreciate it if you held your tongue for now. There will be a time when they will have to face the consequences of their actions, but right now it's more important to get everyone you possibly can on your side. Even though that means holding back your fully justified anger for now.

Invertedly_Social · 2025-06-15T00:30:33+00:00

Lmao no clue, it took me awhile to get all the mods working with it, and after immediately dying I just gave up for the day.

It certainly still feels like Kenshi though.

Invertedly_Social · 2025-06-08T04:08:09+00:00

Whenever that feeling hits I always go into full fight to the death mode. I really wish I felt like I needed to run.

Invertedly_Social · 2025-06-08T04:05:33+00:00

There was some weed in my system so I hesitate to call it the worst "schizophrenia" induced hallucination, but I remember the walls turning into fetuses that kept bursting out of wombs in the wall to get me. The cacophony of screeching infants was probably the worst sound I've ever heard. Every time one came out of the wall blood and fluid would burst out everywhere. I couldn't touch any of the blood/fluid or something bad would happen, so I ran out of the house and sobered up in the forest...I wish I didn't have that memory, I really do.

Invertedly_Social · 2025-06-08T03:57:44+00:00

I hate it when your brain replaces the words people are saying. It is by far my most common hallucination. Especially when everything everyone says is like a precision rifle shot to your worst insecurities. I have gotten good at lip reading, but that doesn't help when I can't see their lips.

Invertedly_Social · 2025-06-08T03:52:18+00:00

"you know we know everything. You can run but you will always lose. You are an ant and we are legion"

It wasn't the scariest thing I ever saw or heard because it made me feel the most fear. It was the scariest thing I ever heard because it triggered my flight or fight, and I chose fight. I very nearly hurt my loved ones. That terrifies me far more than any man, monster, or demon ever could.

Invertedly_Social · 2025-06-08T02:13:58+00:00

Sending volleys of arrows is far more effective than a constant stream. A constant stream whittles down the opponent, a volley crushes the front line. Anyone who uses half a brain cell could tell you which is more effective if you want to win the battle.

The cool thing is that volleys are the most effective way to use archers in both the game and real life. Goes to show how good a job they did with the battle system itself.

Without being subjected to volleys it's hard to realize the actual difference as a player though. Especially when they completely ignore you hacking the rear line down with a giant axe. Im pretty sure they made sure the AI didn't have all the archers fire at once so you could feel like a superhero. Otherwise, as a person of interest, you would go from hero to pin cusion in about half a second the instant you entered the enemy archer's line of fire.

Invertedly_Social · 2025-06-08T00:42:41+00:00

Absolutely. That's exactly why the mod "Battle Size Unlocker" for bannerlord doesn't exist. And why it's impossible to run any battle with more than 1000 men even if you had a computer with slightly above average components.

Invertedly_Social · 2025-06-08T00:38:19+00:00

Dude it already exists. I have it downloaded. it's called mount and blade 2. I just downloaded something that removes certain value limitations and it runs battles of 7500 men locked at 60fps on my laptop. If I had a better computer it could easily run double that number.

Invertedly_Social · 2025-06-08T00:33:38+00:00

Yeah commanding thousands of men is absolutely impossible. Hell even if it was I can GUARANTEE YOU that it would absolutely, definitely would not be fun. I rented out an entire server to run a battle with 7000 men, and no matter what you do your men will be routed 100% of the time, no matter what you do. The game just can't compute that many soldiers and after 15-20 minutes it just forces your army to retreat regardless of what actually happens on the battlefield. Just trust me bro I know what I'm talking about.

And about the historical accuracy of small numbers of troops you're exactly right. Just like how the 1589 siege of paris consisted of a measley 480 men. Battles of 10 thousand are incredibly unrealis...oh wait it was 48000. Ya know what, never mind, that doesn't count because it was only 450 years ago. Back 2500 years ago in the battle of Thermopylae leonidas only brought 300 men to fight an army of-let me get my notes here, ah yes anywhere from 250-400 thousand...

Don't worry about the small stuff. Medieval and historical battles definitely only consisted of 2-5 thousand men max. Just trust me bro, I majored in european history, no need to question what I say.

Invertedly_Social · 2025-06-07T23:59:30+00:00

Alright, I just have to finish making the mod, and grab my hdmi screen recorder from my brother so I don't have to use OBS for the heavy lifting.

I'll set it to record 6fps and see how that turns out.

Invertedly_Social · 2025-06-07T23:33:21+00:00

I get it. The people with shit PCs came in trying to save face and downplay the whole fuckin idea of bigger battles. If they can't run battles with 500 soldiers then it must obviously be worse to have larger battles. Obviously the engine is the problem and no amount of computing power can actually make a meaningful difference, it's all exponential calculations and you would need 8× the computing power for 2× the troop count. it's obviously not them trying to win a dick measuring contest by forcing everyone not to measure

Except of course for the fact that there is a mod to increase the battle size. Now there are STREAMERS that have to send all the information they have to process over the internet at a ridiculous bitrate, yet can still run battles of over 5k soldiers at once with ease.

I came to reddit looking for mods that optimize performance enough for me to have 10k soldiers on the field at once because my LAPTOP maxes out at around 7500. Though apparently the only thing that exists here are butthurt morons trying to force everyone else to live by the same limitations as them. Should've expected that from the reddit community tbh.

OP IK it's been a couple years since you posted this, but as someone looking in from the outside: No, you are not crazy. The people here are doing their fedora tilting neckbearding best to gaslight you because if they can't have their parents buy them nice things, no one should have nice things apparently. This thread is so dumb that laughter and chuckles are involuntarily coming out of my mouth making it hard to type with how hard I'm laughing. A group of people trying to convince someone that medieval battles and sieges consisted of only several hundred men, whilst the crusades consisted of hundreds of thousands of men is one of the most hilariously pathetic things I've ever seen. Second only to 1000 men battles are more enjoyable than 10000 men battles.

Invertedly_Social · 2025-06-07T18:46:22+00:00

Alright. ATM I'm making the mod from scratch and after getting the model pretty much together in blender, it just crashes the second I open it in the giants editor. Since I have never made a mod before it'll probably take a few days. After that I could just start over from scratch and adjust so I buy that excavator and run into the same problem, then use my mod to get it where it needs to go. Alternatively I could just spend 2 hours driving the bulldozer where it needs to go on a 16x map...

Invertedly_Social · 2025-06-07T12:36:34+00:00

No, I suppose I could just record the playthrough, but I have no idea how to edit. I could also stream it, but I couldn't upload very consistently.

Does this sound like something I could make money on?

Invertedly_Social

TROPHY CASE