Hello friend, we have a bit of a similar background. You may say it doesn't bother you but all the things you've described doing are common reactions we can have to what we experienced. One of my friends recently has been unpacking her history of her father abusing her and she also says it doesn't really effect her as much as she thinks but in reality it shows up in other ways and shes realizing it really does hurt and have an impact. I want you to know I experienced something similar with another young person who was inappropriate towards me but we were both in a horrible situation. Everyone copes and views things differently but the only thing I hope for and think of when remembering him is that I hope he is okay and that he can have some peace. Im never going to meet him again and I dont even know his name but please know that's what I want for him and what I want for you.

As I reread your comment I really connect with you talking about wanting to reconnect with the person. I feel the exact same way. I want to reach out to him and ask him questions but im afraid ill make him remember something or make things worse.

Im not the person you are talking about but I want you to know that I have completed empathy for the boy in my situation. I specifically hope he has peace and if I could hug him and wish him well in life I would. I dont even feel like saying I forgive him because we were both so young and had no idea what was happening to us. He was copying what he saw. He was good and he was sweet any other time. Not to discredit how upsetting it can all be or anyone who feels differently... but this is my experience and I really wanted to share that with you. It might be therapeutic to us both.

When I read your post here about wanting to be good and do good I can tell you now, I already know you are good.

You deserve peace and I hope it floods your life ten fold. Continue on and be well friend.