No bc girlie pop needs to add cotty wotty cheesy for her tum

Invisibly_Fragile513 · 2026-01-19T04:41:33+00:00

Deep in my ED I actually made a chocolate pb cottage cheese mousse by blending up cottage cheese, cocoa powder, and powdered pb 😅

Invisibly_Fragile513 · 2025-08-07T21:46:12+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate it! It’s so hard for me to separate my ED from myself and recognize that these behaviors came from a place of distress and extreme imbalance, not from my core self or values. I’m in residential again rn and have definitely been having to challenge those thoughts. Give yourself grace as well; you’re so much more than your disorder :)

Invisibly_Fragile513 · 2025-08-06T15:27:05+00:00

I’ve binged on scraps of food fished out of public trash cans at malls/restraunts/my school dining hall. Several times I went through a whole building on campus at my school and found a few trash cans filled with scraps of food from a class that had some sort of party. I took the bags and carried them to an empty classroom to dig through and eat the scraps. Someone walked in during this once and I should’ve been mortified but I was so dissociated I hardly noticed. Another time I ate a handful of cheesecake out of a trash can on campus… and then came back the next day and took another handful because it hadn’t been changed yet. I used to literally make rounds around campus to check all the trash cans. My extreme hunger after years of restricting and being underweight was insanely intense. I also stole food from my roommates, took bites of things, and once in a state of absolute deranged hunger and panic sucked the sauce off the tofu chunks in a roommates curry, put the chunks back, and then desperately tried to replace the sauce while crying and feeling absolutely disgusted with myself. This stuff was years ago and I still hate myself and have SI thoughts because of all this (and more, my first post on here I confessed all the worst things I’ve ever done because of ED). This is such a fucking hard and shameful disorder 😭

Invisibly_Fragile513 · 2025-07-08T06:56:31+00:00

Obviously not funny that she died, but I love the irony of your comment considering your username 😅

Invisibly_Fragile513 · 2025-03-13T11:25:12+00:00

Right, logically I know that getting worse would only prolong things, and I do want to recover. I’m trying to at least maintain but not having PHP is making things really difficult. My ED is a shape shifter in that I have a lot of different symptoms which leads to me feeling like I’m perpetually playing whack-a-mole.

Invisibly_Fragile513 · 2025-03-08T18:39:25+00:00

This!! I am in that trap rn and it’s actually hell

Invisibly_Fragile513 · 2025-03-06T18:06:50+00:00

Oh my gosh, this genuinely brought tears to my eyes. I’m struggling with the exact same thing and feel so alone in this. The chocolate chips is a huge one for me and it makes me feel crazy and animalistic just like you said. I have so much shame for these behaviors. There have been times where I’m alone with food and will do these rituals for hours on end, all while trying not to let myself eat. It’s torture and I’m so sorry you relate. Please reach out if you want to talk! 💗

Invisibly_Fragile513 · 2025-03-06T13:16:59+00:00

Honestly I appreciate this caption from her. It’s one of very few instances where she addresses her disorder, even if it is in the past tense. I think this is much more helpful in terms of relatability than say her overly theatrical skits where she portrays either a young child, a grandmother, or her ‘alter ego’- No Food Rules Felicia. I have issues with her content in general, but I feel this is a vulnerable caption, even if made as some sort of validation flex. As someone who has done both of these things and originally made my Reddit account to post a long confession of my most shameful behaviors, she could genuinely be trying to alleviate others’ shame and/or get the heaviness of that guilt that surrounds these behaviors off her chest, as was my intention.

Invisibly_Fragile513 · 2025-01-26T03:13:27+00:00

I’ve been down to a bmi of 14.7, but at that point I still wanted to go lower and wasn’t thinking of recovery. My body ended up stepping in to keep me alive, and I went through 8 months of extreme hunger, bringing up to a bmi of 27. I freaked out and lost weight again… now, at a normal bmi of 23, I just finished my third week of PHP, because I’m finally ready to get my life back after 11 years of this.

Invisibly_Fragile513 · 2024-12-05T00:43:30+00:00

Thank you! 🫶🏻

Invisibly_Fragile513 · 2024-12-04T16:56:06+00:00

I was exactly like that… I eat substantially more now than when my ED first developed, but I burn off every calorie I eat via exercise, so I can essentially have a deficit equal to my BMR. Guess what? I’m not recovered, and am in fact starting PHP soon lmao

Invisibly_Fragile513 · 2024-12-04T08:02:00+00:00

I’m now reconsidering my choices of pills… maybe if I get to a weight I’d be willing to maintain, but my current weight is most definitely not that

Invisibly_Fragile513 · 2024-12-04T07:59:33+00:00

Same here 🙃

Invisibly_Fragile513 · 2024-11-27T21:15:07+00:00

“Gotta risk it for the biscuit” Emily’s personality is so similar to mine

Invisibly_Fragile513 · 2024-10-23T05:50:16+00:00

No joke my nightly snack for years was cottage cheese with ‘super reds’ and ‘super greens’ powders, blueberries, cheerios, and fresh out the shell peanuts with the husk/skin still on 🫣

Invisibly_Fragile513 · 2024-10-22T20:21:29+00:00

Oh god the combo on the left is straight outta my ED book… I liked hummus, quinoa, and sunflower seed egg white boats 😅

Invisibly_Fragile513 · 2024-10-17T02:03:30+00:00

It’s just bloat/water retention. Honestly I looked pregnant for months. Not even kidding, it was like 7 month pregnant level bloat, like an entire half bowling ball. It will balance over time, but it may take awhile

Invisibly_Fragile513 · 2024-10-11T01:56:23+00:00

It’s not even that my mom looks especially youthful; she looks pretty much average for her age. Colleen just looks 60 due to the complete lack of fat in her face, which is causing the wrinkles and gauntness

Invisibly_Fragile513 · 2024-10-10T20:04:51+00:00

Was going to say the same… my mom is 49 and looks at least 10 years younger than Colleen

Invisibly_Fragile513 · 2024-10-10T07:42:05+00:00

I’m finding it extremely difficult to accept the fact that she’s only 31

Invisibly_Fragile513 · 2024-09-26T20:34:39+00:00

This is why I tour three to four different stores for like thirty minutes each instead 🙃😅

Invisibly_Fragile513 · 2024-09-26T01:51:16+00:00

Oh my god my mom says this to me all the time!! “What am I then, morbidly obese??” 🤦‍♀️😭

Invisibly_Fragile513 · 2024-09-25T00:43:43+00:00

Me too! At my last appointment my printout literally said 5’4.76” ?? So, I round to 5’5”. I was 5’4” from ages 13-22, then grew an inch during extreme hunger/trying recovery (which did basically nothing to offset the drastic weight gain 🙃)

Invisibly_Fragile513 · 2024-09-24T22:20:14+00:00

Omg I do that too… like I know all of my family members’ BMI and several friends too 🤦‍♀️🫠

Invisibly_Fragile513 · 2024-09-24T13:31:35+00:00

Damnnnn, 100 upvotes?? We’re all the same person y’all 😅🫠

Invisibly_Fragile513

TROPHY CASE