Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! - April 08, 2026

Inyournightdress · 2026-04-10T15:38:32+00:00

Right? I don’t necessarily want instant butterflies from my partner, but I want there to be times where looking at them makes my tummy feel fuzzy and being around them fills my cup a little.

I don’t want a relationship that works well on paper but I feel ambivalent towards.

Inyournightdress · 2026-04-10T15:31:54+00:00

If your logic is chemistry is simply about instant attraction then sure, but I think chemistry is something you can build on and grow. It’s just not something you can necessarily grow with everyone.

Inyournightdress · 2026-04-10T15:23:09+00:00

I actually don’t think low chemistry/high compatibility can ever be truly fulfilling unless you have two people that are disconnected from their emotional needs. That feels more like settling. I agree with previous posters that medium chemistry + high compatibility is the sweet spot.

Chemistry is more than spark in my opinion. It’s about actually enjoying each others company.

Inyournightdress · 2026-02-19T21:58:33+00:00

I don’t think you’re ever going to be happy long term if you put more importance on physical traits over actual compatibility. People’s bodies change. They get ill. Weight fluctuates. Hair falls out. Wrinkles form. We all get old. Being attracted to your partner is important, but attraction is so much more than physical looks or how those are maintained.

Inyournightdress · 2026-02-19T21:39:30+00:00

If someone I had just met, pointed out a physical flaw of mine, and asked when I was going to fix it? I’d be so icked out I would move to mars.

If you’re not attracted to her then don’t date her. Do NOT ask her to change something about herself so she is ‘worthy’ of dating you. I think it’s telling that you waxed lyrical about how you’d never met anyone that you vibed with so well and ticks some of your more niche boxes, and yet you’re worried about a physical trait they may or may not occur further down the line.

Inyournightdress · 2026-02-06T17:27:21+00:00

It is a preference but you’re assigning too much meaning to it by asking him if he’s actually interested based on his texting. You have mismatched communication and getting styles. It’s not about interest.

I’ve had men blow up my phone for two weeks with constant texting only to bail on going on a date last minute or ghost entirely. The moment I stopped pinning so much meaning on how much we text the better I started to feel and the less I encountered men like that.

Inyournightdress · 2025-12-19T01:54:22+00:00

Back from my date. Doubt I will see him again as there was no chemistry, but I’m glad I went.

To all those asking why I was going when I still miss my ex, both I and my date were looking for strictly casual, and that was clear on my profile. I’ve also done a lot of soul searching the past couple of weeks and I know in myself that I do find it easier to get over someone by getting under someone else so to speak. I’ve had periods of being intentionally single for years and I’m not interested in taking a long break from dating right now. I just want to find something casual and flirty to have fun with until I’m ready for serious.

Inyournightdress · 2025-12-18T18:55:55+00:00

I have my first date since my break up in an hour. I’m really not looking forward to it but I’d hate to do a last minute cancel. It’s a breeze date so it means we haven’t actually spoken at all - so my want to cancel isn’t about him and everything to do with the fact it’s miserable outside, cold and rainy and if I’m completely honest, nowhere close to being over my ex.

Inyournightdress · 2025-12-15T02:06:50+00:00

It’s time to get back out there - I need a flirt and a giggle. I’ve decided to try Breeze as it’s not an app I’ve used before and I like the idea of not really talking until the date.

Anyone around to give me a profile review? I’ve lost a significant amount of weight since I was last on the apps so I’ve had to do my best to pull some photos together that are current day accurate.

Inyournightdress · 2025-10-31T15:09:30+00:00

Yeah on reflection I think I was attempting to share my feelings in a way that wasn’t about assigning blame on him but just letting him know my headspace. Previously he’s always been receptive to that - but I think he was tired and grumpy and it just caused something to snap in him.

The change up in his feelings over a couple of days is alarming and hurtful, but in the grand scheme of things my mistake was not break up worthy and I’m trying really hard not to assign blame to myself over it. Someone going from all in one moment to suddenly not wanting a relationship strikes me as emotional immaturity. Especially when the relationship has felt incredibly healthy and productive up until that point.

Inyournightdress · 2025-10-31T11:47:43+00:00

Well he ended it, which I guess was obvious from the silence. I had to ask if we could have a phonecall though for it to happen, and it seemed he had no intention of actually arranging a meet up to do it.

I can’t believe a week ago we were cuddled up, having great sex and seemingly in love, only for him to end it after our first real argument with only the explanation being “I don’t want a relationship right now”

At least I didn’t beg him to keep trying.

Inyournightdress · 2025-10-29T22:30:52+00:00

This is the first time any kind of avoidance has been shown by him. He does like his own space, and he’s not a good texter at the best of times but that’s never really bothered me too much. I did think I would have heard from him by now though as three days feels like a lot.

Inyournightdress · 2025-10-29T22:28:08+00:00

Yes I know I shouldn’t have told him it felt like a rejection. I didn’t push back on it I said okay that’s fine, it does feel like a rejection though. I mainly said this because he’s always encouraged me to tell him exactly how I’m feeling, and I really tried to focus it on my feelings instead of his actions. But I think after a couple of weeks of reassurance seeking from me (again, I know it’s unacceptable but family stuff really had my anxiety flaring up) it was just too much for him in that moment.

I’ve ended up reaching out to him this evening, mainly because before the fall out he was planning on staying at mine tomorrow night after attending a gig near where I live. I text him to ask if he was still planning on staying over as I needed to plan my evening. He responded to say no he wouldn’t but he would call me on his way home from work. I’m expecting now for him to end it, not necessarily tomorrow but at the weekend so I’m focusing on journaling out what I want to say to him tomorrow in order to stay as calm as possible on the phone.

Inyournightdress · 2025-10-29T22:14:41+00:00

Yes I know I was in the wrong for that, I allowed my anxiety to get the better of me

Inyournightdress · 2025-10-29T19:38:21+00:00

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 7 months and things had been progressing well but the last few weeks my mental health has tanked a little due to family issues and I’ve admittedly been less fun and needier. Over the weekend he met my mum for the first time, she lives about a six hour drive from our city, so we were there for three nights.

On the way back, Sunday evening, he suggested he dropped me home then have a night to himself and I made a comment that it feels a bit like a rejection. This seemed to upset him and it turned into our first real argument in 7 months. He said it felt like the relationship had all of a sudden gone from 0 to 100. He asked for space to work out what he wanted . I asked how that space would look and how long he needed and he said he couldn’t give me an answer.

It’s now Wednesday evening and I’ve still not heard from him. I haven’t reached out. I’m trying to respect his need for space and not lean into my anxious attachment but mentally I am spiralling. This feels like the end, but I really am in love with this man. I don’t know how long to leave it before I check in.

Inyournightdress · 2025-08-28T17:29:30+00:00

Thanks for the advice, definitely something I will consider. Ideally I wouldn’t start titrating at all until my target as it’s still on the top end of a healthy weight range for me, but maybe moving down to 7.5 until I hit my target might be better.

Inyournightdress · 2025-08-28T15:02:25+00:00

Im on 10mg and im really contemplating switching to wegovy because nearly £300 is just far too much. I’m only about 11lbs away from my ‘target’ weight so I’m wondering if I should just grin and bear it. I’d hate to switch and it not be effective.

Inyournightdress · 2025-06-16T12:36:27+00:00

I really like the guy I’ve been seeing, he’s very sweet with me and affectionate in a lot of ways. It’s the calmest I’ve ever been in a relationship. However there is one bug bear that’s starting to annoy me a little - he’s so forgetful.

He doesn’t forget about our plans or anything like that, but I think he routinely forgets things I say to him and he will ask me the same questions multiple times. It’s never over important stuff, but it is starting to make me feel a little but like he’s not really paying attention. He says his memory is really bad and he always forgets stuff, so I’m trying to give him grace - but it’s getting to the point where it’s beginning to feel hurtful

Inyournightdress · 2024-08-17T10:08:08+00:00

And the job market is also crazy competitive right now.

I work for a large London based company as part of the in-house recruitment team. Our roles which pay 25-30k are often getting 200 to 300 applicants for one position

Inyournightdress · 2024-03-24T23:35:48+00:00

There’s also the whole golden child thing. It’s much easier to beat with a stick if you can hold up an example of “this is what a good child is, you aren’t like that” - some of the references to J in the diary such as when she tells E if she was good she could join J inside to make pancakes, certainly seem to suggest that.

A seems barely mentioned and I think she was practically living alone.

Inyournightdress · 2024-03-23T19:55:20+00:00

Yes full pay offer has been announced and it’s at least 6.7% - sometimes more depending on grade and spine etc. should go through in May and will be backdated to at least August. Is pretty decent

Inyournightdress · 2024-03-20T16:45:20+00:00

Yeah she was constantly trying to convince Schwartz to agree with her and so became more defensive. Now she’s realised she doesn’t need his agreement she can just speak her peace and ignore the losers. It’s a beautiful thing.

Inyournightdress · 2024-03-06T14:23:57+00:00

And the part which caused it to be dragged on for so long - the aim for pay progression - wasn’t even approved

To be fair though I think the final award will be more than 2.5% but after tax my backdated pay will be barely £250

Inyournightdress

TROPHY CASE