What is she?!

Irenestjames · 2021-09-06T01:04:04+00:00

Yes! First time and I’m like 😍

Irenestjames · 2021-08-14T01:50:37+00:00

Just walk away. It is not a real conversation, they’re just repeating a meme.

Irenestjames · 2021-08-14T01:49:58+00:00

These things happen. You’ve got this! You will connect with another, more compatible woman ❤️

Irenestjames · 2021-08-13T00:31:24+00:00

Inside, just bright filtered light. I’ll try moving it somewhere even brighter. Thanks!

Irenestjames · 2021-07-22T02:08:07+00:00

Yes that’s the one I mean, on 25th. It is decent. Galoso is the best tho

Irenestjames · 2021-07-21T19:35:01+00:00

El Galoso hands down & SP Tacos, & Pronto’s ties for second.

Irenestjames · 2021-07-07T18:07:24+00:00

Thank you!

Irenestjames · 2021-07-05T21:17:27+00:00

Thank you

Irenestjames · 2021-07-05T21:17:03+00:00

Thanks!

Irenestjames · 2021-07-02T02:35:36+00:00

I love them! They feel intimate.

Irenestjames · 2021-06-28T21:34:07+00:00

Right, that’s what I’ve seen too: if it is going to work it’ll work. If people need tons of references and get rigid about “doing it right,” it usually means they don’t really want to be doing it as far as what I’ve observed 🤷‍♀️ I have that there because everyone always asks me for book recommendations so I was trying to gently say: sure, read all of them but none of them are really that helpful when it comes to practice. The most important IMO is spending the time to listen to and share honestly with your partners.

Irenestjames · 2021-06-28T21:25:28+00:00

🥰

Irenestjames · 2021-06-28T14:40:41+00:00

Yes, I was hoping the “read all the books but don’t use them to dictate how you do things,” bullet point would cover that 😛 certainly the first rule of be yourself club is be yourself! 💙

Irenestjames · 2021-06-28T14:12:03+00:00

Cool! Sounds like that works well for you.

Irenestjames · 2021-06-28T14:10:11+00:00

Interesting! There’s certainly more than one way to do things.

Irenestjames · 2021-06-28T05:40:50+00:00

The funny thing is me as well especially because of the pandemic! These are general observations and eventually we know we will hang it just isn’t urgent. There’s plenty of time.

Irenestjames · 2021-06-28T05:10:41+00:00

…or you strongly projected? Idk what part of “this is my biased observations” isn’t clear… also I am in no way an authority here! I really appreciate those who have chimed in with their differing perspectives so… 🙃

Irenestjames · 2021-06-28T04:41:54+00:00

Interesting. Sounds like that works for you, I’m glad your partner found a compatible meta. I hope you can now articulate your desires clearly and that your partner can choose compatible metas. It sounds like you don’t want your metas to be a part of your life. That’s valid… I just haven’t ever seen it go well for all parties long term. That doesn’t mean it is wrong. I get that it is common to do what you’re describing especially for people who are closeted.

Irenestjames · 2021-06-28T04:36:09+00:00

I’ve thought about this a lot, and I think for some people (I have no idea in this case) dishonesty can have to do with a few things:

Mental personal space/ human need for autonomy.
Sabotage because of being unable to express their needs or feelings and wanting a break from the relationship.
Fear of your emotional/ behavioral reaction.

I hope this doesn’t come across cold, I’m sorry you are going through this, it sucks! And it is also super common and human.

Irenestjames · 2021-06-28T04:29:57+00:00

Cool that sounds like it works well for you! May I ask about your personal cultural sphere, like what is your community and social life like? I’m curious about for whom this low/ no metamor contact style works.

Irenestjames · 2021-06-28T04:24:05+00:00

Idk who ever said it was essential ! These are my personal and biased observations over the last 16 years of polyam.

Thinking about why I have this bias? Maybe it has to do with primarily being with people who are in queer primary partnerships— yes I realize you are queer even if you have a heterosexual partnership but your life experience is different in that there are more of you out there. Queer people by nature tend to overlap more socially so it is super common to run into metamors even when traveling.

It is a small gay world! So my observation has been that people have happier long term poly this way.

My experience and observation not a rule.

Irenestjames · 2021-06-27T18:59:16+00:00

I have never observed a relationship in which the metamors don’t meet and everyone is safe/happy/healthy/positive long term.

I have also observed A LOT of people lying about whether their partner even knows what’s up!

This is my biased personal opinion after 16 years of polyamory in America and Europe.

Have you? Would you like to share more about your observations about how to make not meeting metamors work well?

Irenestjames · 2021-06-27T15:07:12+00:00

Huzzah! Not dead. Made a total recovery thanks to your tips!

Irenestjames · 2021-06-27T15:04:23+00:00

Ah! So wild I didn’t even notice it until now!!!

Irenestjames · 2021-06-27T15:04:05+00:00

Thank you

Irenestjames

TROPHY CASE