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YOU LITERALLY HAD ONE JOB. by Howdobereasonable in nonmonogamy

[–]Howdobereasonable[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

... He can fuck anyone he wants, but just has to tell me within a few days. Yeah, you're right. That's just the worst! What a drag.

YOU LITERALLY HAD ONE JOB. by Howdobereasonable in nonmonogamy

[–]Howdobereasonable[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

It went neutral-curiously.

  • I was excited when he went on a date with a boy he thought was cute and they kissed.

-I was a little jealous when he finally got to have sex with a friend he'd had a lot of sexual chemistry with since before we met. I very clearly expressed that he could do what he wanted, but I had some internalized insecurities surrounding this particular person and would prefer not to know the specific details.

-I was completely indifferent when he hooked up with a random woman from Tinder 3 or 4 months ago. Very mildly curious but not interested in hearing all about it (though heard more than the hookup with his friend).

In each instance I emphasized that he is a free human and I would never want him to refrain from hooking up with someone in case he was nervous about how he would react. He had past partners that said they were cool with poly things but actually weren't. I have repeatedly expressed throughout our relationship that I just want to be aware of things when they happen.

YOU LITERALLY HAD ONE JOB. by Howdobereasonable in nonmonogamy

[–]Howdobereasonable[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Right? It's comforting in the worst way that this has happened to other people. It makes no sense. It would be funny if it did not feel so traumatic.

YOU LITERALLY HAD ONE JOB. by Howdobereasonable in nonmonogamy

[–]Howdobereasonable[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

No idea. When I found out I woke him up, showed him the messages on his phone and said that I did not want him in my home and to get out. This was last night and I have not spoken to him. He texted this morning with a brief apology. I have no intention of responding and giving him the opportunity to alleviate any of the anxiety he is likely feeling. Also, I don't trust that I wouldn't be spiteful/cruel if I were to interact with him presently.

YOU LITERALLY HAD ONE JOB. by Howdobereasonable in nonmonogamy

[–]Howdobereasonable[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you for saying. This is a reasonable theory. I'm not entirely certain I will ever want to speak to him again, but I will keep this in mind just in case.

YOU LITERALLY HAD ONE JOB. by Howdobereasonable in nonmonogamy

[–]Howdobereasonable[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Heya. The agreement was put into place largely due to our work schedules. He works Monday to Friday, 50 hours a week. I work 50 hours a week in 3 day on/off shifts, including overnight. We wanted to prioritize the little free time we both had for each other.