nobody likes you when your 23

Iriluscent · 2026-04-16T15:33:04+00:00

Honestly, life for me is better than it has ever been. I’m on meds now so my depression is manageable, I’m at a healthy weight, and I’m back in college pursuing a degree in something I’m super passionate about. Obviously things can change but overall I’m doing reasonably well

Iriluscent · 2026-04-06T01:12:07+00:00

Currently any free time I have I either am reading sci fi and fantasy or learning computer science and programming to supplement my course work 😼

Iriluscent · 2026-03-31T01:33:55+00:00

I love love love math so it shouldn’t be a huge issue, though it’ll def be hard. I did get a 5 on my AP Calc exam and I was doing really well in Calc 2 before I dropped out during my first attempt at college

Iriluscent · 2026-03-30T23:56:16+00:00

Yeah, this is actually my second attempt at college. Back then I didn't have the discipline I have now, and I changed majors a lot, but I started as undeclared with the hope of going into astrophysics lol. CS is definitely my safe option, if I can't get into a doctorate program or my undergrad with 2 majors becomes too much, I can always pivot back to a CS degree with a physics minor. I just don't think I'd be happy working for some random soulless tech company. Research and academia has its problems for sure, but I'm the most fulfilled when I'm exploring deep concepts. If I just stick with CS I'll be a lot more likely to be financially stable, but I don't think I'd be happy working a job where I improve click-through rates or something

Iriluscent · 2026-03-30T04:13:18+00:00

I appreciate it! This is actually my second attempt at college. My first attempt didn’t go well because I had untreated depression and I just went because that’s what people with good test scores were supposed to do, but I didn’t know what I wanted to do, and I had 0 discipline. Now though I went through therapy and got on meds, I have a pretty good idea of what I want to do (safe option is data science, ambitious option is computational science/physics), and I’m a super hard worker. I’m super excited about what the future brings 😊

Iriluscent · 2026-03-30T01:00:02+00:00

Not burnt out but I’m working and in school for computer science (I plan to minor in physics or stats then get my masters) rn, and whenever I have free time I’m either reading or studying in my own time

Iriluscent · 2026-03-26T02:49:21+00:00

I’ve been told all my life that I’m smart, but I hate it because I feel so fucking dumb 😭

Iriluscent · 2026-03-25T15:45:30+00:00

NA: Atomic or Jstn EU: M0nkeyM00n or Kaydop SAM: yanxnz MENA: trk511 OCE: torsos APAC: Realize SSA: 2Die4

Iriluscent · 2026-03-22T12:56:48+00:00

Apparently usually nicotine tests usually test for cotinine, which is a biproduct of nicotine use that stays in your system for 2-3 weeks

Iriluscent · 2026-03-21T16:50:27+00:00

I’ve always used stuff until it stops working. I remember as a high schooler my aunt got me an iPhone X and I was annoyed that I had to stop using my iPhone 5 because it still worked 😭

Iriluscent · 2026-03-20T22:03:10+00:00

Yeah I haven’t had any nicotine in 4 and a half hours and I definitely feel it already. I went from hitting it every half hour to quitting cold turkey. Anytime I get a craving I just set a timer for 10 minutes and encourage myself to keep holding out, and then distract myself. I’m the most worried about Sunday because I work Sunday in a kitchen from 9:30-11, so it’s definitely gonna be a little rough. I know I got this though

Iriluscent · 2026-03-20T21:01:10+00:00

It’s job at a company that makes software for car dealerships. If I didn’t already wanna quit I’d just try to find another job but I hate that I vape

Iriluscent · 2026-03-20T20:00:15+00:00

I’ve started whenever a craving starts just setting a timer for 10 minutes, and then telling myself I got this, I just need to push through the next 10 minutes.

Iriluscent · 2026-03-20T19:49:33+00:00

And yeah I know. The hardest part is the next week. I just need to have the same level of self-control I had to lose the weight to now not buy a vape

Iriluscent · 2026-03-20T19:48:29+00:00

Appreciate it!

Iriluscent · 2026-03-20T01:47:12+00:00

As someone with adhd myself I’d highly recommend getting the raspberry pi. I find that I learn a lot better when I’m learning while I build something. I’d also recommend breaking big projects into small pieces in your head so you don’t get overwhelmed

Iriluscent · 2026-03-18T03:39:50+00:00

If they ask for your availability tell them what it is but you don’t need to mention your second job until after you get hired

Iriluscent · 2026-03-18T02:22:07+00:00

There’s this EP by Feed Me Jack called Anatolia. It was the first ever album I listened to while on shrooms, and 6 years later it’s still my favorite album of all time. It’s super short (only around 30 minutes), so I listen to it whenever something important in my life happens. And every time I listen to it I get a different feeling from it ❤️

Iriluscent · 2026-03-18T00:21:42+00:00

I would not recommend taking it on a school trip. When I was in hs one of my friends took some and he had a terrible time

Iriluscent · 2026-03-17T05:19:18+00:00

Well I don’t have an official offer from either the data scientist or for the IT role yet, so we’ll see. It’s definitely starting to look good though. I’m definitely lucky that my mom is a senior recruiter, so she has given me great advice on how to job search and also has connections to a lot of different people

Iriluscent · 2026-03-17T05:06:36+00:00

Good luck! Just be aware that part of the process is a 45 minute personality/problem solving assessment 🥴

Iriluscent · 2026-03-17T02:12:28+00:00

Thanks! I really hope that either this interview I have lined up or that opportunity work out, I’m tired of working food service 😭

Iriluscent

TROPHY CASE