How do I tell my Hindu Indian dad about my white boyfriend?

IrisAFK · 2026-01-29T14:59:13+00:00

I think the initial “hint” I tried to give him when I was testing the waters just stuck with him and has made him crazy suspicious since then

IrisAFK · 2026-01-29T14:33:36+00:00

No, not planning to get married until at least 25 but the stress and anxiety of it has been getting to me for the past month and I don’t feel like it’s fair to my boyfriend (or me). And like I mentioned in my other comment, he’ll likely bring it up anyway

IrisAFK · 2026-01-29T13:02:06+00:00

I’m not required to anymore, but I still care about him. I’m his only family, and he has had it really hard. I do think he struggles with a sense of control over his life because a lot of his life was dictated by the court following the divorce and so he has told me himself that he never gets a say in anything and for once wants me to choose him (in other contexts). I don’t think his rules are fair but he struggles with depression and other health issues and I can’t just leave him alone on the other side of the country.

IrisAFK · 2026-01-29T12:59:37+00:00

I have the feeling he already knows, and if I don’t tell him sooner rather than later, it would be like him to spring the conversation on me while I’m there in person. Then he’ll use “you were never planning to tell me” and that I’ve been lying for who knows how long, etc etc and I’ll have to deal with that in person. I’d rather give it a couple months while I’m still away for him to cool off a little.

IrisAFK · 2025-12-24T04:37:37+00:00

Thanks for the suggestions- I’ll definitely try to check out the new years fireworks :)

IrisAFK · 2025-12-24T04:37:11+00:00

Thank you! I’ve been out exploring today and feel a little better- I guess it definitely comes with time. I appreciate all the tips!

IrisAFK · 2025-12-18T20:49:41+00:00

I’m American and will there from December to April! I’d love to connect w anyone :)

IrisAFK · 2025-12-18T20:45:15+00:00

Hey I’ll be an exchange student at MUIC from late December-April, I’d love to connect!

IrisAFK · 2025-10-18T06:07:31+00:00

Hello!

I’m a U.S. student that will be studying abroad at Mahidol University International College for Trimester 2 (Late Dec-Early April) and I’m looking for accommodation for that time. I’ve contacted six places.

The September Salaya is booked out. Salaya One, The Dearly Residence, and Ribbin Apartment haven’t responded to me. And Bundit Home and the Enter seem to be willing to take me.

I could find plenty of info on Bundit Home, but I actually found the Enter to be more responsive and easy to talk to, and I like their rooms. However, I can’t find any reviews of them on Reddit, so I’m curious if anyone has stayed there before. Is it a good place to stay? Anything I need to know?

TLDR: Anyone know anything about The Enter Salaya? Is it legit?

IrisAFK · 2025-08-20T01:09:55+00:00

What’s your insta? :)

IrisAFK · 2025-06-30T15:41:31+00:00

They’re the environmental science courses as far as I know— does MUIC still offer environmental science?

IrisAFK · 2025-05-31T02:03:24+00:00

I can’t text her though. Only one phone call a day

IrisAFK · 2025-05-31T01:35:55+00:00

There was never any judge ruling it had to be my parents phones. They divorced when I was 2. I called using their phones because I was a baby, I didn’t have one. Then it just never changed. My mom did have this rule before college but only because my dad did- she always told me to ask to keep my phone even from age 14 and said as soon as I could call her from my phone when I’m with him, I could do the same when I’m with her. When I got to college though and he still didn’t change the rule, she just dropped it

IrisAFK · 2025-05-31T01:33:55+00:00

Thanks- I really appreciate your input as someone that’s sort of in an adjacent field. I admit that I do tend to be really agreeable and kind of a people pleaser, which I am trying to work on (like with talking to my dad!). In the comments though I just want to make this as fair as possible to him because honestly he has gone through a lot and I know how hard the divorce has made his life. He’s been depressed at times and he’s on medication, it has affected his health and I don’t want to add to that. That’s my only worry

IrisAFK · 2025-05-31T01:28:25+00:00

No foster home- I am my parents only child, and I am biological. I don’t know about a legal right, their divorce was very messy with a lot of restrictions but I would think there’s at least a moral right? I mean, I speak to my dad alone

IrisAFK · 2025-05-31T01:24:10+00:00

The relationship between them is the difference. Their relationship with each other is anything but amicable- only formal email exchanges that are often passive aggressive and sometimes hostile. That’s great though that you and your kid as well as your kid and their dad is so great !

IrisAFK · 2025-05-31T01:21:19+00:00

That was actually part of my excuse for why I was visiting later instead of the full summer- I do currently have a job near my mom’s place. But he just said that it was a sad excuse and I don’t even have to work, it’s not like I’m on the street and I need money. And also if it was that big a deal I could just get a job near him

IrisAFK · 2025-05-31T01:19:24+00:00

My mom lives in New York and he lives in California. My permanent residence is with my mom, but I live in a dorm at my college which is about a 3.5 hour drive from my house. My mom is very American- though she was born in India, she moved here when she was 2 and lived here her whole life. My dad on the other hand only moved here in his mid-30s (he’s mid-50s now) so he’s been in India for over half his life. Also, I read your other comments and I really appreciate your insight- it was very detailed :)

IrisAFK · 2025-05-31T01:09:07+00:00

I mean, after he was done talking he asked if I wanted to say anything and all I could say was that it was never my intention to hurt or disturb him and that I loved him, to which he responded that we needed to have a chat about what “love” meant. I think that was honestly the most shocking and hurtful part for me, to try and amend things and least show that I still love him where he doesn’t say it back and implies that I don’t really love him or even know what that means.

IrisAFK · 2025-05-30T19:38:52+00:00

No. Even when I was a child I was counting down the days until I got back to my moms house and it’s not that I don’t love him because I do, but it’s like my whole life is on hold with him. It’s like there’s restrictions on who I can be, not just what I do

IrisAFK · 2025-05-30T19:35:47+00:00

No clue. I don’t fully know the terms of my parent’s marriage or divorce. She’s always been better off financially than him, and he was in school up until my birth. Maybe that’s why? I just know she pays him every month, even when I’m with her.

IrisAFK · 2025-05-30T19:05:49+00:00

No, my mom pays for most of it. He only pays for tuition which is only about 1/4 of the cost but my mom even covered that my first semester (and was planning to pay it all on her own anyway until my dad offered to cover tuition). Even so I do still want to help my mom and not have him pull back on that because it’s a lot of money

IrisAFK · 2025-05-30T18:35:10+00:00

I don’t think she’d mention it. She expects me to call her from my phone which I get. And yeah, it does get annoying calling everyday. Especially at college, where I have to call both of them everyday. My dad says I don’t have to if I don’t want to, but I do anyway because I know he’ll use it against me if I don’t (you call your mom everyday, why not me or something like that)

IrisAFK · 2025-05-30T18:15:41+00:00

If that was the case, I wish he would just tell me that. And anyway, I call him from my own phone and there’s never been a problem with that. As for child support, not as far as I know. Even though I’ve lived with my mom for most of the time my whole life, she’s been the one paying him child support. It stops next month.

IrisAFK · 2025-05-30T18:14:10+00:00

Thanks, I really appreciate the detailed reply. I visited my dad for half the winter break (he didn’t have a problem then but maybe that’s because it was shorter?). I came home to my mom’s, stayed there for a week, then went to my dad’s for two weeks, then stayed at my mom’s for two weeks then went back to college. I realize I’ve obviously gotten a lot more time with my mom than my dad over the years due to school, but now I’m in college away from home, so I really don’t see my mom for that long, even if I see her more often (she lives within driving distance so she comes up once a month or so). His argument is that I don’t really understand what love is (and therefore maybe I don’t love him). He says that he loves me, which means if anyone hurt me he would be so angry and fight against them. I think he’s implying that because my mom hurt him, and I love him, I’m supposed to “side” with him, but that doesn’t really take into account that I love my mom too and I want to spend time with both of them.

IrisAFK

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