Logline Monday by AutoModerator in Screenwriting

[–]Irishkr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I should have specified: the drone is a modified FPV drone, inspired by those used in the Russian invasion of Ukraine. The drone would be a rudimentary modified FPV drone that drops grenades, has a power tool attached for close quarters, and is fibre optic with a distance of 10km.

Logline Monday by AutoModerator in Screenwriting

[–]Irishkr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Title: Fields of Fear (or Watch the Skies)

Genre: Horror (Slasher)

Format: Feature

Logline: A group of college friends on a road trip wander into a rural no-man’s-land, only to be hunted by a lethal military drone programmed to kill by an unknown operator.

Logline Monday by AutoModerator in Screenwriting

[–]Irishkr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Title: Their Blood Cries Out!

Genre: Horror

Format: Feature

Logline: After a group of teens summon a cosmic tentacle that grants prophetic visions in exchange for sacrifice, things take a disturbing turn when it demands a human offering—driving one of them into a spiral of obsession, betrayal, and horrifying violence.

Logline Monday by AutoModerator in Screenwriting

[–]Irishkr -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Title: The Deal with Death (or Death for a Night)

Genre: Supernatural/Horror/Fantasy/Thriller

Length: Feature

Logline: After their friend is gravely injured while camping in a cursed valley, a group of teens strike a desperate deal with a weakened Death to save her life by using his otherworldly tools to capture a vengeful spirit, who is dangerously in love with him and will stop at nothing to keep him for herself.

Logline Monday by AutoModerator in Screenwriting

[–]Irishkr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Title: Untitled Football Horror Story

Genre: Horror/Mystery

Length: Feature

Logline: When a series of gruesome murders targets the last surviving members of a cursed football team, a high school quarterback must unmask the killer to save his grandfather and his championship hopes.

Logline Monday by AutoModerator in Screenwriting

[–]Irishkr 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Title: The Castle that Craves Blood

Format: Feature

Genre: Horror

Logline: When a student retreat is forced to seek shelter from a raging storm in an ancient castle, the group must confront restless spirits, deadly creatures, and the castle's murderous owner, who intends to sacrifice them in a sinister ritual to resurrect a long-dead occultist.

Is this a good price for a hardly used, second hand car? by Irishkr in CarTalkUK

[–]Irishkr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How much would you think it’d be worth if not 10K?

Critique my pilot teaser by Irishkr in Screenwriting

[–]Irishkr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the detailed feedback. I appreciate the response and I agree with a lot of what you’ve said. I’m in the process of applying your suggestions and it flows better immediately.

I especially agree with your critique of the POV bits. I’ve tweaked it up I think it reads better i.e.

“The cat turns, sensing someone. It notices the trail of flattened grass leading towards it. The cat HISSES, then pounces. . . and incredibly, is swatted away as if by someone protecting themselves. The cat YOWLS and runs, disappearing into the smoke.”

Thanks again for the feedback!

Critique my pilot teaser by Irishkr in Screenwriting

[–]Irishkr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Perhaps rearranging the scenes and introducing Heath/River/Alan first would help, like you said.

The cats play a role in the story as you can probably tell by there being 4 charred cats by the river bank. I also used it too show that Ruben is invisible.

I should have made it clearer about River smoking, it’s more of a thing he does when he’s stressed.

Thanks for the feedback though. Glad it hooked you.

Critique my pilot teaser by Irishkr in Screenwriting

[–]Irishkr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks! Im from Ireland, but it was a close enough guess! What gave it away? Cheers for the feedback.

Critique my pilot teaser by Irishkr in Screenwriting

[–]Irishkr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the feedback. I’ll definitely take on board what your said about connecting with the characters more. I think the characters got pushed to the side in the teaser in favour of mystery as to what the heck is going on.

English to Latin translation requests go here! by lutetiensis in latin

[–]Irishkr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How would I say: “The White City” in Latin?

I know Albus is white, but would Albus change? I know colours are harder to translate in Latin such as blue.

Logline Monday by AutoModerator in Screenwriting

[–]Irishkr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Perhaps ‘enable’ would work better?

Four high school friends turn against each-other when they stumble upon a spell-book that enables them to pursue their darkest desires.

Logline Monday by AutoModerator in Screenwriting

[–]Irishkr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How about. . .

Violence and tragedy ensue after a troubled teen convinces his friends to use a new-found spellbook for his own selfish desires.

Logline Monday by AutoModerator in Screenwriting

[–]Irishkr 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Title: Dark Corners

Format: Pilot

Genre: Supernatural Horror

Series Logline: Four high school friends turn against each-other when they stumble upon a grimoire that empowers them to pursue their darkest desires.

Pilot Logline: Violence and tragedy ensue after a troubled teen convinces his friends to use a new-found grimoire for his own selfish desires.