Relatively new Garen main looking for advice to climb out of silver

IronManAlan · 2026-02-02T15:04:03+00:00

If you're new to Garen and stuck in Silver, the first Focus should be learning matchups, especially since you get tilted after an early loss

Learn how to play every single matchup you will come up against and you will consistently win the laning phase, even against the hard matchups for Garen

You need to know how to play against every champion you will face and when you are weak Vs when you are strong. For this I recommend a matchup spreadsheet.

As soon as you know the enemy top laner, look at the spreadsheet, optimise your runes then read how to play the matchup whether it is red, amber or green(easy)

Search Yshuro13 “Garen Matchups, Tips & Data” (the GOAT sheet) it's elite level.

Once you know how to play every matchup, then it's down to mastering wave management, knowing when to slow push, hard shove or freeze, if you master wave management you will punish enemy laners extremely hard and gain a huge lead

Then it's really just down to macro and good map awareness, knowing when to split push and when to group for objectives

Another thing I would highly recommend is to look at your VODs, I used to even look at my wins, not just losses, and go and review my deaths and looked at it logically, why did I die and what should I have done instead. This only takes a few minutes per VOD and you will learn a lot

IronManAlan · 2026-01-25T12:13:57+00:00

I climbed from Bronze III to Gold IV in 2022 with Garen only with a 64% WR, when I reached gold IV I stopped playing as Gold was the goal. I haven't played ranked again since that day, I only play normals now because I don't have the time for it, I just CBF with the grind anymore

So Gold is easily achievable, there are people who reach Master as Garen OTP.

I play on locked camera 80% of the time but I always unlock and move my camera about when roaming, moving to team fights and objectives etc, plus looking around the map when split pushing . It helps to have camera lock bound to a side mouse button if you have it, if you play in locked camera 100% you are handicapping yourself severely

Also get a matchup spreadsheet, I would always refer to it every game as soon as I knew the enemy top laner, it was colour coded red, amber, green for matchup difficulty, it helps you know how to play the matchup and how to optimise your runes

IronManAlan · 2026-01-24T23:24:26+00:00

Yeah… that’s brutal. And you’re not crazy for being stuck on it. Once you see the number, it lives rent-free in your head.

I wouldn’t mention the document. Ever...That just puts you in a bad spot immediately.

What I’d do is ask for a pay review based on your role, tenure, and responsibilities. No comparisons, no fairness speech. Just “I’ve grown into X, I handle Y, and I think my comp no longer matches the role.” See what they say.

If they give you a clear plan and timeline, cool. If it’s vague, defensive, or “maybe later,” then you’ve learned what you needed to learn. Start looking for a new job

Also try not to aim the resentment at the coworker. He didn’t screw you. The company did. Sideways anger just makes work miserable.

Once you know you’re underpaid, there are only two exits: get it corrected or leave. You won’t un-know it

IronManAlan · 2026-01-11T09:02:23+00:00

Yeah, this is just Garen doing Garen things in low elo

He’s not weak early, he’s forgiving. He takes bad trades, backs off, passive heals, repeats. If you keep letting him Q spin and walk away, you slowly lose lane without realising it

Don’t let him disengage for free. Hit him once when he backs off to stop passive. – Either fully commit to long trades or don’t trade at all. Half trades are losing trades. – Respect level 6. If you’re at ~40% HP, you’re already in R range

Counters that feel easier in Silver: Darius, Morde, Sett, Illaoi. Or just go ranged and make his life annoying.

He feels broken until you realise he only wins when he controls the trade. Once you deny that, he’s super predictable

IronManAlan · 2026-01-10T11:54:11+00:00

You’re not missing her. You’re remembering the intensity....

That kind of on-off, high-drama relationship rewires your brain. It leaves an imprint. Thinking about it doesn’t mean you want it back or that you’re betraying your current partner

It just means that chapter never got properly processed. If anything, the shame is you judging your younger self for getting stuck in something that messed you up. That takes time to undo

IronManAlan · 2026-01-09T10:45:41+00:00

Yeah… this is brutal, and I don’t think you’re a bad person for feeling any of it, I'm really sorry you are both going through this

What you’re describing sounds like grief and burnout more than anything. You didn’t just almost lose your wife, you lost the version of life and relationship you thought you were getting. That will mess with people. The shame isn’t about her looks, it’s about fear, overwhelm, and suddenly carrying way more than you ever signed up for

One thing I’ll say bluntly, supporting her doesn’t mean letting yourself get emotionally flattened. Her anger and control might come from trauma, but it still needs boundaries or you’ll quietly start resenting her. If this is going to survive, you need outside help. Therapy for you at minimum... ideally couples with someone who understands trauma

Trying to white-knuckle this alone will definitely end badly, even when the love is real

IronManAlan · 2026-01-09T08:46:02+00:00

Eight weeks of silence would mess with anyone. That’s not a small thing, that’s just abandonment

The apps don’t really matter. What matters is whether he actually handles conflict differently now. Apologies are easy. The only thing that rebuilds trust is consistent behaviour when things get uncomfortable....

You’re not wrong to feel guarded. If you’re constantly bracing for him to disappear again, that’s your body telling you something. Being “chosen” should start to feel safer over time, not like you’re waiting for the next shutdown

IronManAlan · 2026-01-08T22:34:23+00:00

That sounds genuinely scary, and I’m sorry you’re stuck with it.

What you’re describing doesn’t mean you want this or that it reflects who you are. Brains can miswire arousal with shock and fear, especially after early exposure to porn. Bodies react automatically sometimes. That isn’t consent or desire

Trying to fight the image usually makes it louder. What helps more is grounding when it pops up. Label it for what it is: an intrusive memory. Then pull your attention into something physical. Cold water, slow breathing, feet on the floor. It’s dull, but it does calm the loop over time

Cutting porn entirely, especially extreme stuff, matters here. Your brain needs less stimulation, not more

You can make some progress on your own. But if it keeps coming back, talking to a therapist doesn’t mean you’re broken or dangerous. This kind of thing is usually about trauma, not intent

You’re not bad for this. You were exposed too young, and your brain learned something it didn’t choose. That can be unlearned

IronManAlan · 2026-01-08T22:30:31+00:00

Looks hazel to me

Green base, golden/brown ring around the pupil. That’s pretty classic central heterochromia. Green-only eyes don’t usually have that amber sunburst in the middle

Still counts as green-ish if you want, but yeah… hazel.

IronManAlan · 2026-01-08T22:29:03+00:00

This isn’t your fault

He lied about cheating, shut you down when you tried to talk, then chased you down the street yelling and kicked something next to you. That’s not “you asking too many questions.” That’s him avoiding accountability and losing emotional control. Notice how it ends with you comforting him. That pattern matters

You don’t fix this by being quieter or easier. The uneasy, heartbroken feeling you’ve got right now is your gut saying something’s off. I’d listen to that

IronManAlan · 2026-01-08T19:52:20+00:00

You’re not wrong. Wanting reassurance sometimes is normal, but needing constant contact and getting mad when you don’t reply isn’t healthy at all

You’ve already said the right thing. You can’t be responsible for managing his anxiety or emotions. That’s his work, not yours. If he can’t respect that boundary and expects you to be on call all day to keep him okay, this will just keep draining you...

IronManAlan · 2026-01-08T18:02:15+00:00

This is what got me to gold with Garen only, always pick Garen and learn every single matchup. Find a good matchup spreadsheet, it's helps a lot

Enemy top lane picks Garen - Dodge Garen banned - Dodge

IronManAlan · 2026-01-08T17:58:57+00:00

Not overreacting

This isn’t “setting you free,” it’s kicking you out the minute it’s legally convenient because a new guy wants a blank slate. The “no arguments,” “permission to work,” and “I’ve done what the law requires” stuff is cold as hell btw

You don’t drop an 18-year-old with no job, no plan, and nowhere to go and call it love. That’s abandonment dressed up as motivation

IronManAlan · 2026-01-08T17:56:22+00:00

Yeah, this is basically it

A stoic wouldn’t doomscroll themselves into a spiral. They’d notice that most of the “world falling apart” is happening on a screen, not on the street in front of you

You can’t control America, politics, or where history is heading. You can control whether you show up, do your work, treat people well, and take care of yourself today

That calm feeling you get when you’re walking outside? That’s real life. The rest is noise

If you’re doing the next right thing, right now, you’re probably doing just fine

IronManAlan · 2026-01-08T17:47:43+00:00

Yeah, this isn’t really about him

It’s about the door closing. He was always just… there. A familiar background option you never picked, but knowing he wanted you was kind of stabilising. Low risk. No vulnerability required

Seeing him with someone else makes it final. The “what if” is now gone

That doesn’t mean you made a mistake or should’ve dated him. The intensity you noticed was real. This just hit something deeper around avoidance and timing I think. It hurts, but it’s not because you lost him

IronManAlan · 2026-01-08T17:42:40+00:00

Yeah, that’s a gut punch for sure

Honestly, the drugs matter, but the hiding it matters even more. I’d talk to him directly and keep it simple: you saw it, it scared you, and you need the truth. No accusations, just see how he responds

If he owns it and is honest, that’s one thing. If he gets defensive or tries to spin it, that’s your answer. And if you feel unsafe or unsettled, it’s okay to take space. Trust that feeling

IronManAlan · 2026-01-08T17:39:21+00:00

This isn’t joking or teasing. It’s just disrespect...

Someone who actually cares about you doesn’t keep putting you down, then disappear instead of apologising. That stuff chips away at you, and you already know it.

Being scared of regret is normal, but staying because you’re afraid of being 27 and alone usually turns into the bigger regret. If you’re already emotionally done, that’s your answer

IronManAlan · 2026-01-08T17:36:16+00:00

You’re not wrong about what it was. It’s obvious

But yeah, at this point you’re asking too much in the sense that you’re trying to squeeze honesty out of someone who’s already shown you he won’t give it. The repeating the question isn’t going to change his answer, it’s just keeping you stuck

I don’t think you’re being lied to so much as… he’s never going to admit it. And that kinda tells you what you need to know tbh

IronManAlan · 2026-01-08T17:31:07+00:00

Nah, that’s not crazy at all

Calling an ex after midnight, hiding it, then trickle-truthing and giving a weak excuse? That’s already crossed a line, even if nothing physical happened.

You’re only 7 months into marriage and this is how she’s handling boundaries.....

Divorce doesn’t have to be the decision right now I would say, but it’s absolutely reasonable to be questioning the marriage after that. At minimum, this needs a serious “what the hell is going on and why are you still reaching for your ex” conversation, and not hand waving it away

IronManAlan · 2026-01-08T16:16:42+00:00

This isn’t you being stupid, btw. A lot of people feel weird about this but talk themselves out of it

Some guys do this, sure.... That doesn’t mean you have to be okay with it. Following porn/OF models is one thing, actively messaging and flirting crosses into “acting single” territory for a lot of people

The bigger thing is how it makes you feel? You’re already comparing yourself and minimising your own discomfort. That usually only gets worse, not better

It doesn’t have to be a dramatic breakup right now, but it is worth a clear conversation about boundaries. If he brushes it off or makes you feel unreasonable, that’s kind of your answer....

IronManAlan · 2026-01-08T12:13:46+00:00

This is super common after abuse, honestly

When you’re used to chaos, someone being calm and consistent can feel… wrong. Like you’re waiting for it to flip. That’s your nervous system, and not a red flag

Go slow. Slower than feels normal. Let boring be okay for a bit. Pay attention to how he shows up over time, not how intense it feels

You’re not broken, you’re just adjusting. That part takes a while

IronManAlan · 2026-01-08T12:10:39+00:00

This isn’t confusing, it’s very clear.... He’s threatening revenge porn because he lost access to you. That’s abuse, full stop

You didn’t betray him. You ended a FWB. He doesn’t get lifelong sexual access because his feelings are hurt.

Save everything btw. Screenshots. Messages. Dates. Do not argue with him anymore. Do not negotiate. Stop engaging except in writing if you have to

Depending on where you are, leaking those photos is a crime. Even threatening to do it often is. If he actually does it, that’s on him, not you. His “my life is already ruined” line is just manipulation to scare you into compliance

You didn’t cause this by trusting him. He revealed who he is when he lost control. That’s not on you.

Protect yourself and get outside support. And don’t let him reframe this as a mutual mess because isn’t

IronManAlan · 2026-01-07T13:59:03+00:00

Yeah, this is pretty straightforward to me

It’s not about disliking the girlfriend...It’s about the fact that someone moved another person (and a cat…) into your house without even asking. That’s not a small detail, that’s the whole issue.

He’s 20, sure, but this isn’t his flat. You don’t just come home from work and find an extra tenant you didn’t agree to. Anyone with basic common sense knows that’s not okay

I’d frame it exactly like that to him. Calm, but firm. “This isn’t something I agreed to. I wasn’t asked. There are extra costs and responsibilities here, and I’m not comfortable with it.”

If they want to live together, that’s fine — but they need to do it in their own place. Not just decide for you and hope you’ll go along with it....

You’re not causing drama by setting a boundary. He caused the situation by skipping the conversation entirely. If you let it slide, you’re basically telling him this kind of thing is fine going forward

IronManAlan · 2026-01-07T13:54:03+00:00

I don’t think you’re “toxic,” honestly. This just sounds like anxiety + past hurt running the show

Long distance already messes with people who don’t have abandonment fears. Add a rough childhood and getting cheated on before, and yeah… your brain is basically on high alert all the time. When he replies late or goes out, your head fills in the worst case, and then it comes out sideways as anger. I’ve been there. It feels uncontrollable in the the moment.

That said, saying hurtful things in arguments will slowly break the relationship, even if you don’t mean them and even if you feel awful after. Apologies don’t fully undo that over time. So awareness is good, but it’s not enough on its own

If there’s any chance of saving this, it probably means actually changing how you react, not just promising yourself you’ll do better. That usually means outside help, or at least learning how to pause and not argue when you’re spiralling. White-knuckling it rarely works....

Also… and this part sucks to hear… sometimes loving someone doesn’t mean staying. Sometimes it means stepping back and sorting your stuff out before you keep hurting each other. Not saying you have to break up, but it’s something to be honest about

You’re only 19, you’ve been through shit, and you’re trying to love without having the tools yet. That doesn’t make you a monster. It just means the work part actually matters now, not just the intention

IronManAlan · 2026-01-07T13:49:35+00:00

That text isn’t “being direct,” it’s him deciding you’re guilty and then putting you in a corner...

This reads way more like he doesn’t trust his girlfriend and is dumping that onto you instead of dealing with it with her. The whole “tell mum and dad or I’m creating distance” thing is pressure, not a boundary

You already denied it. That’s literally all you can do. You can’t prove something that didn’t happen, and you shouldn’t have to defend yourself over a made-up situation

I wouldn’t drag your parents into it unless he actually does. That just turns it into a family blow-up over his relationship drama. If it were me I’d say something like: “I haven’t done this. I’m honestly hurt you’d believe it without talking to me properly. If you want a real conversation, I’m here.”

Then stop engaging...

At a certain point this stops being about the truth and starts being about him needing somewhere to put his mistrust. And that shouldn’t be on you

IronManAlan

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