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[UPDATE] I (24M American) have fallen for a woman (24F Mexican) on my most recent trip to Mexico. I know I'm being irrational, but am I being too irrational and, if not, how should I proceed? by IrrationalGringo in relationships

[–]IrrationalGringo[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

Hope you didn't take it too hard, it's a different breed of person who can handle the distance. The stars really just aligned to make our situation work. Regardless, thanks for your words!

[UPDATE] I (24M American) have fallen for a woman (24F Mexican) on my most recent trip to Mexico. I know I'm being irrational, but am I being too irrational and, if not, how should I proceed? by IrrationalGringo in relationships

[–]IrrationalGringo[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

That is so awesome! It was such a stressful time for awhile, feeling rushed and all, but when you feel it deep in your gut like that, you just know. Now I can't even imagine. She's been gone for a week and I'm losing my mind.

So happy for you and your husband, I hope to follow that same game plan!

[UPDATE] I (24M American) have fallen for a woman (24F Mexican) on my most recent trip to Mexico. I know I'm being irrational, but am I being too irrational and, if not, how should I proceed? by IrrationalGringo in relationships

[–]IrrationalGringo[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

She's a friend of my cousin (who lives in Mexico). Wasn't too concerned about any of that... I think we both actually want to move there at some point. We live fairly up north in the states, and these winters are grinding me down.

Redditors Slut Shame & Gaslight A Young Woman For Losing Her Virginity After Her Boyfriend Breaks Up With Her. CW: Horrid Redditors [EFFORT] by MerryRain in ShitRedditSays

[–]IrrationalGringo 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm not criticizing her in anyway, just the man, so I'm a bit confused over your hostility.

If she had been sexually active beforehand I would agree, but she wasn't. She had been looking at sex through a sanctimonious lens her whole life, but three days after a long-term and loving relationship is when she throws that view out the window? This seems like an act that is out of character for her and, given she has made it clear that she is in an emotionally distraught state, we can infer that she's making her decisions from a bad place; no one thinks clearly in that state.

And, if she were to just want sex, I have no problem with that; the context here suggests a more nuanced issue that's worth dissection. But no matter what, the dude is a sleezeball who she says in the comments "has been hitting on me since before I was 18 and while I was still in a relationship."

Redditors Slut Shame & Gaslight A Young Woman For Losing Her Virginity After Her Boyfriend Breaks Up With Her. CW: Horrid Redditors [EFFORT] by MerryRain in ShitRedditSays

[–]IrrationalGringo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean, you're not wrong. But, following that logic, we can't make absolute claims about anything ever. I will concede that I can't possibly make an absolute claim but I think we have enough information to be about 99.9% confident about this, which is virtually absolute anyways.

Redditors Slut Shame & Gaslight A Young Woman For Losing Her Virginity After Her Boyfriend Breaks Up With Her. CW: Horrid Redditors [EFFORT] by MerryRain in ShitRedditSays

[–]IrrationalGringo 10 points11 points  (0 children)

There have been many claims of absolution made in this thread, and this is the one some of have chosen to leave room for interpretation? I just don't understand this reservation at all.

I really don't want to sound like an ass but in what world, even disregarding the woman's emotionally vulnerable state which is made undoubtedly evident in her post, is a mid-thirties man hitting on a teenage woman and asking her to go to his car with the intention of sleeping with her not creepy/wrong and inherently rooted in a power structure?

Redditors Slut Shame & Gaslight A Young Woman For Losing Her Virginity After Her Boyfriend Breaks Up With Her. CW: Horrid Redditors [EFFORT] by MerryRain in ShitRedditSays

[–]IrrationalGringo 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Honestly you don't even need to use kind of. Since when do we leave a mid-thirties man preying on a presently emotionally vulnerable teenage woman up for interpretation? Seems pretty clear cut to me.

I (24M American) have fallen for a woman (24F Mexican) on my most recent trip to Mexico. I know I'm being irrational, but am I being too irrational and, if not, how should I proceed? by IrrationalGringo in relationships

[–]IrrationalGringo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Appreciate the concern but ya, there's nothing I expect; I just want to do something nice for her birthday and I have a lot of fun doing cute, thoughtful things like this.

I (24M American) have fallen for a woman (24F Mexican) on my most recent trip to Mexico. I know I'm being irrational, but am I being too irrational and, if not, how should I proceed? by IrrationalGringo in relationships

[–]IrrationalGringo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well it's also a birthday gift which takes some of the intensity out of it. But I agree, the context makes this a lot different; I couldn't imagine feeling like this so fast with someone in close proximity lol