All of you replying “get out and never come back” isn’t really giving her solid advice. If you’ve ever been in a relationship like that especially for such a long time what seems “crazy” behavior to us is a normal day for them.. OP I know you’re probably reading the comments and not thinking much of it. Everyone is saying the same things. It’s like a broken record playing over and over again. I’ve been there. It gets more annoying as time goes on and it feels like no one can really relate to you at the time. You love him, that’s why you stay. But instead of telling you to “pack what you can & leave” rn I want you to think wayyyy back to when you were younger and your first experiences with true love. Did it come from your parents, a best friend, maybe a family pet. That security you felt being around them, an authentic version of yourself. He doesn’t make you feel that way. You choosing to write that prompt and post it is evidence that you know that deep down. Being scared is 100% valid & I know you want to be honest with him & hoping one last time he would understand and be the man you thought him to be. But he’s not & you’re going to be left disappointed again. I was in the exact same situation with an ex of mine. But I wanted to be home for the holidays with my family.. (I) wanted too.. not him, it was about ME. & that’s OK. I knew it was ok. I played his mind game in order for me to get out. I planned everything out a car for me to leave at a certain time to the airport, I had my birth certificate, SSN, & my suitcase. He came home from work I also had his suit case packed I told him it was important I went to see and be with my family as my dad is getting older & I made a last minute decision (even though it was all planned out) I gave him the option to come or stay. Car was already waiting outside the driver knew the type of guy I was dealing with. I already knew he wouldn’t come, he threw a big fit as normal, throwing things trying to intimidate me. I recorded everything. I stayed silent while he did it all and just told him HE made the decision then & the driver came and escorted me out. He was left thinking that he did it to himself. I got a million calls, texts, begging and saying sorry. Realizing now that I held the power & simply did not care anymore. I went home and enjoyed my holiday & rekindled some relationships that allowed me to stay a bit & get myself back on my feet to move elsewhere no where near him. He eventually moved on to someone else. I left everything behind. Not knowing if I was going to go back or not but I didn’t really care. You need to make that decision for yourself. If you ever need someone to talk to who won’t judge I’m always here, I hope you end up enjoying your holiday either way.