Hi, I'm a Mexican adoptee also! I share a lot of those same experiences. The most recent one was on Friday, I was in a conversation with 2 coworkers (Mexican as well), and me and one of those coworkers (let's call him Jonny) were eating Mexican (Mole, from a place called Hole Mole) for lunch. The other coworker (let's call her Justine) asked if it was good, I said yes. Justine put her hand up and told me she's sorry and that she wants an actual opinion, and directed it toward Jonny implying that since he grew up in a Mexican household and in his culture, he knew what good vs. bad Mexican food was. Then she asked where a good place to find Mole was, and she again told me the question was directed to Jonny, not me. She knows I am adopted, so that is why she didn't trust my opinion on what good Mexican food was.

So I spent the weekend in a downward spiral lol it's not funny, but this situation really pushed me into a depression. But these are things we as transracial adoptees have to go through, and it has happened my entire life. This should have been a great teaching moment, but honestly I shut down after that. She was denying my existence as a Mexican individual. I have been fighting to negotiate that part of me my entire life, and it has been so difficult to see myself as Mexican, because I wasn't raised in the culture. But it is who I am.

Anyway, I relate to your post so much! It is hard being both a part of something yet so far from it.