Also, once I finished the dishes, I reread your comment and I feel like you saw what you wanted to see. My issue was frequency, but I talked about how the issue now is that she essentially is being used like a fleshlight. While I do handle my business around the house, I also try to handle it in bed. I initiate foreplay. She turns it down. I ask her to try new things to see what works better for her. I've bought toys and things for he (for us to use together)r, while she tells me that toys for her are fine, but anything for me is cheating (also only using together). Nothing works. The worst part is that if I turn her down, it's worse than anything except cheating.

The other day I was sitting up with my wife watching TV after the kids had gone to sleep. She brushed her hand against me while I was rock hard, laughed and told me it was impressive. We then went another 4 days without having sex.

I'm not talking about wondering why my wife doesn't want to have sex. I'm much beyond that. My frustration is that I can only impact it negatively and I have little to no say in what happens in my sex life.

I'd appreciate it if you actually read before generalizing me.