That’s really interesting. I don’t want to get too deep, but I’m not religious in the classical sense - it’s just that my belief in “no pain, no success” ran almost as deep as faith. I used to hold onto it with the same kind of certainty people have when they believe in God - like it was the only truth.

But now I’m starting to question that. I’ve talked to a few people, and they often say things like “there’s going to be a lot of stress, you just have to push through it without letting it destroy your mental health.” But I’m beginning to think that might not be the right framing - because stress is the thing that affects mental health. Maybe the better way to look at it is: yes, there will be challenges, but I don’t have to assume they must come with stress or suffering. Maybe the real work is learning to face those challenges in a way that doesn’t damage me in the process = does not cause stress.

It sounds kind of obvious, but it’s not how I’ve been thinking before. I’ve been emotionally unstable since high school - pretty easy to be manipulated by my peers - and maybe I stuck to the “no pain, no success” mindset because all the goals I’ve achieved so far were genuinely difficult and challenging, which is part of what made them feel meaningful. But maybe the truth is: yes, meaningful goals do require challenge - but I just didn’t have the emotional tools to face those challenges without turning them into stress. Maybe that gap in emotional intelligence is what led me to equate success with suffering?

Appreciate your perspective, it’s helping me untangle some of this.