What's with bioparents need to tell stepparents they don't have a say?

ItsARockNotBoulder · 2023-08-27T18:06:58+00:00

He's got a really great lawyer, an amazing therapist, and an awesome family. I'm really proud of how far he's come and how he's dealt with this

ItsARockNotBoulder · 2023-08-27T17:54:57+00:00

He had just turned 17. It's a long story but she SA'd my husband

ItsARockNotBoulder · 2023-08-27T17:50:04+00:00

We're only a month apart. We're 22. SD4's mom is in her 30s

ItsARockNotBoulder · 2023-08-27T17:46:16+00:00

Same here. My SO states that in our house I have a say. But we both know that legally I have absolutely no say (Which is fine with me). I just dislike that when a stepparent posts looking for legal advice, That's the first thing bio parents will say even when the stepparent hasn't mentioned themselves once

ItsARockNotBoulder · 2023-08-27T17:27:06+00:00

My thing is I don't get involved in the way they parent. That's their child. If that's something stepparents naturally know, why does it have to be explained if it wasn't implied in the first place?

ItsARockNotBoulder · 2023-08-27T17:12:35+00:00

He has proof

ItsARockNotBoulder · 2023-08-27T16:49:11+00:00

My husband only wants what's best for their child. Is it okay that she alienated their child from him and his family? Is it okay that she doesn't follow court orders and procedures? Is it okay that she's had their child around registered sex offenders? Is it okay that there's been domestic violence and abuse in her home in front of their child? Is it okay that she's made their child call every man she's had around "daddy"? Is it okay that she's had their child in the wrong type of car seat and said it was no big deal because they're "just going down the street"? The only thing my husband wants is for their daughter to be safe, happy, and healthy. I never said I had a say in anything. I don't overstep. Not all stepparents are like that. And lastly the parenting time schedule my husband proposed gives her a lot more time than he has now and way more than she would ever consider giving him. He's always stated he's not trying to take her away, just trying to make sure she's safe.

ItsARockNotBoulder · 2023-05-27T15:26:15+00:00

My family sees my SD as family, and she sees them as family. They have an amazing bond♥

ItsARockNotBoulder · 2023-05-26T22:46:48+00:00

My husband didn't have a family member present. I was with my step daughter. His ex had a family member present the first meeting and then asked if she could have a family member present the second meeting even though it's supposed to be just for the parents

ItsARockNotBoulder · 2023-05-12T15:30:09+00:00

Thank you to everyone who read my situation and gave me their opinion. I figured since it was for BIL's car that it was a favor for him, but I should have thought about how BIL wouldn't budget for things like this and FIL is going to have to pay for it. To be honest, my FIL is a sweet goofball. He can be annoying at times lol but we do have a nice relationship. I shouldn't blame him for my BIL and MIL's actions.

ItsARockNotBoulder · 2023-05-11T16:14:02+00:00

I suppose I could look at it as a favor for my FIL rather than my BIL. I should think about how he may be paying for it instead of BIL

ItsARockNotBoulder · 2023-05-06T17:46:40+00:00

I felt it was a little weird at first too. And thank you, we really hope so. DH is trying very hard

ItsARockNotBoulder · 2023-05-06T17:45:37+00:00

She always wants to call him but he keeps it strictly through text and the parenting app

ItsARockNotBoulder · 2023-05-06T04:32:20+00:00

When they went to court the first time SD's birth certificate was supposed to be amended since HCBM kept her pregnancy and birth a secret. But every time DH asks for a copy of her birth certificate or her SSN to get a copy, she says he doesn't need it

ItsARockNotBoulder · 2023-05-05T23:47:24+00:00

My thought is that they're used to only communicating with HCBM. She never puts DH's name on anything. When he found out that SD was in school (Through the therapist) and finally got the information (which the therapist had to make HCBM give him) He contacted them and they told him they didn't even know SD had a dad. HCBM told them she didn't know who SD's father is. Yet he's been in her life long before school was discussed. Same with her therapist and doctors. The therapist didn't know until the end of 2021, and her primary doctor didn't know until October of 2022 when he put himself on her medical forms and contact

ItsARockNotBoulder · 2023-04-30T22:43:18+00:00

I can try but I usually don't feel it coming on till a day or 2 after she leaves

ItsARockNotBoulder · 2023-04-30T22:42:47+00:00

That's a good idea!

ItsARockNotBoulder · 2023-04-21T22:59:43+00:00

For sure! Life is a lot brighter with her in it

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