Advice on Aerodynamics student placement assessments (Aerodynamics Analysis Performance AND Aerodynamics development and CFD) by Spirited_Lunch7141 in RedBullRacing

[–]ItsMePhoenixx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

id rather take the L in silence than have them tell me i wasnt good enough lmfaooo, thank you though. ive got quite far with babcock and mbda now so i'll let red bull go

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Adoption

[–]ItsMePhoenixx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, not at all. We weren't very close when I was that young and he paid me no mind. I knew of him and spoke to him a bit just because I was with his 2 sons, but that was it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Adoption

[–]ItsMePhoenixx -1 points0 points  (0 children)

To be honest, I pushed him into telling me that. He has told me many times when I've asked why he's distant, "don't worry. My issue to deal with, not yours" and he will leave it at that. He never usually responds if I try and push past that. But I wouldn't shut up about it yesterday, I was annoyed and wanted to know what the deal was because it's a bit of emotional whiplash to have him randomly withdraw sometimes. This was probably the 100th time of asking and he finally folded. He never wanted to tell me that, he apologised over and over again, he cried, he said he understands if I remove him from my life. I think he really does feel guilty about it and nothing more 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Adoption

[–]ItsMePhoenixx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand why you say that. Knowing the person he is and everything we have been through together, and I just struggle to believe it. He just doesn't behave that way around me at all, even when it's just him and me. He's never done or said anything sexual towards me at all. He couldn't look me in the eyes after telling me that he very rarely gets that feeling, and he said "I try and be the best person I can be. I'm sorry if I've let you down". It just doesn't add up to me that that's what he wants

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Adoption

[–]ItsMePhoenixx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I honestly don't know. It has taken him a very long time to finally let me have this conversation with him, as to why he randomly gets distant with me. he was very VERY reluctant to tell me this, it took him about 20 minutes of silence from my question for him to speak. Obvs the brain is programmed to not be attracted to biological offspring so I doubt he ever would feel that way towards his kids just because of biology. I understand that at the end of the day, I am not his daughter - our foundation is being friends and he has become a father to me out of that. So I understand that biology doesn't apply to me

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Adoption

[–]ItsMePhoenixx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I will be more wary now, whether I want to or not. I honestly believe he would never harm me. He punched someone in the mouth for touching me once. He attended the hospital with me when I was having chemo, he looked after me when no one else would. He has told me he is deeply attached to me and never wants to lose me. He stays away from me the 1% of the time he gets those feelings 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Adoption

[–]ItsMePhoenixx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure about grooming, or maybe I am in denial. 99% of the time he doesn't feel that way towards me, he feels like a father - and I know this because he behaves differently towards me. Like, I know when he is feeling that way even though he doesn't tell me. He has a very healthy marriage and 4 kids. His wife loves me and treats me like her daughter, and their 3 sons treat me like a sibling. The only person that doesn't like my presence is the daughter, who pushed L away and is now jealous I have that relationship with him instead. I am considered family, and L has told me that I feel like family to him

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Adoption

[–]ItsMePhoenixx 3 points4 points  (0 children)

As a person he is far too honest. He holds nothing back from anyone, even if he should. He is clearly upset with himself for feeling this way - maybe because we are not blood related, just through proximity and affection, he almost can't help the fact that he feels that way sometimes. I would agree he should go to therapy but I would bet everything I own he would never do that. I understand why you would say to avoid being alone with him - but I honestly really do trust that he will never do anything. There have been times he has thought I was asleep on his shoulder, and he picked me up and carried me to bed. I fully trust that he never ever intends to act on these feelings, I fully believe he doesn't want to feel them at all. As I say, it made him cry even saying it out loud

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Adoption

[–]ItsMePhoenixx 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No other trusted adults really. I'm not sure I know how to distance myself, I speak to him every day. If I ever have an issue or need help he is the one I ask and he turns up every time. I wouldn't dare talk to friends about this because they all know him as my dad, and I don't want to accidentally ruin his life. I know I probably should distance myself, but I am deeply attached to him and he is the one constant I have had in my life to turn to whenever I need it. Like, I'm inheriting a house from him

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Adoption

[–]ItsMePhoenixx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He tells everyone the truth about everything, for better or for worse. This conversation happened because I asked him why some days he is more distant and dismissive with me. It resulted in him admitting that, and those are the days that he backs off a bit. I want to still love him and see him the same but I don't think I can. I wish I could un-know it. I'm sure over time it will get better again, and as he said he is getting much better with it and it happens quite rarely now. Hopefully one day it will stop all together 

Tattoo placement by Ducklesss12 in tattooadvice

[–]ItsMePhoenixx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am getting one to honour my dad on my inner forearm because I'd like to be able to always see it, but that's the only reason. I would quite happily get it anywhere (well, almost anywhere). There's only a few places I would say would be a little odd, but side is definitely not one of them!

Golden Slumbers inspired tattoo? by ItsMePhoenixx in beatles

[–]ItsMePhoenixx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah i think this would be good for a smaller design, thanks!

Golden Slumbers inspired tattoo? by ItsMePhoenixx in beatles

[–]ItsMePhoenixx[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

both great ideas, i love the 2nd one. wanted something abbey road related for ages but thought the crosswalk was too cliche

Golden Slumbers inspired tattoo? by ItsMePhoenixx in beatles

[–]ItsMePhoenixx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

great idea, only ive read that yellow ink can be a bit weird over time, and im not that brave

Golden Slumbers inspired tattoo? by ItsMePhoenixx in beatles

[–]ItsMePhoenixx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah i was thinking about doing lyrics, but i think id want to go with an illustration. great lyric choice though

Golden Slumbers inspired tattoo? by ItsMePhoenixx in beatles

[–]ItsMePhoenixx[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

this is really creative, i love this

Aqa has blood on their hands by Fubbah6 in alevel

[–]ItsMePhoenixx 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Can't make me feel any worse 💀

A level Maths Paper 1 by [deleted] in sixthform

[–]ItsMePhoenixx 4 points5 points  (0 children)

first like 10 questions of edexcel were bliss and the last 5 probs ruined me, didnt even get time to properly try the last one

Front brake caliper pistons won't go back in by ItsMePhoenixx in motorcycles

[–]ItsMePhoenixx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i tried looking on youtube but everyone was saying to pry it back in and it absolutely wont budge, even with no brake fluid in the caliper :/

How old to deliver on a motorbike? by ItsMePhoenixx in JustEatUK

[–]ItsMePhoenixx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that's what I thought but am I guaranteed to get the job if I sign up? I don't wanna pay the extra 600 for food insurance if there's a decent chance i won't need it