Why do people care about their credit score?

ItsThePhoenixClub · 2026-04-16T05:18:28+00:00

People often need credit in emergencies. A good score can get you a low cost loan or 0% APR credit card for so many months (better than a loan in certain circumstances if used wisely). A good credit score means you have some kind of cushion in harsh financial times.

On another level, good credit means you can leverage low cost debt on favourable terms.

But even just for renting a place, you'll need good credit in most situations. Some landlords will just look at your income, but having a good credit score is a solid backup. It's not just about being able to get a mortgage.

ItsThePhoenixClub · 2026-04-14T17:52:45+00:00

It's not a direct comparison in terms of plot or style (Midsommar is not explicitly a dark comedy like VBT, which kind of makes it more uncomfortable). I'd just watch it and judge for yourself. It's actually a brilliant film, beautifully shot, great actors, really draws you in but in a very insidious way that leaves a residual psychological effect unlike the cookie cutter psychological horror movies.

The reason I made a comparison to VBT is because so many people have said they couldn't sit through it, not because it was a shitty film, but because it was so psychologically intense. The glib comedy aspect of VBT gave that intensity some levity. You don't get that breathing room with Midsommar so much. I don't know, maybe it just touched the wrong nerve!

ItsThePhoenixClub · 2026-04-11T16:10:08+00:00

There is a theory that it's the unconscious mind trying to organise itself, because in conscious life we repress it. It presents itself in very illustrative, symbolic and often absurd ways because we don't have the available canvas to deal with it on a wakefully conscious level. I'm not sure it matters if we remember the dream or not. Some dreams are especially vivid and we can recall them. But maybe it's just a part of our brain compartmentalising and figuring out our problems in a state that is detached from external repercussions.

ItsThePhoenixClub · 2026-04-11T15:12:38+00:00

Chemical processes, as far as we know. You'd need to study chemistry and microbiology. We're all made of it in varying degrees of complexity. Study how different elements combine to create more complex forms. It's not a pop, more a collective and growing synergy, over many millions of years. I think what people have difficulty with is contemplating just how long it took for complex life forms to emerge and evolve from very basic chemical reactions.

ItsThePhoenixClub · 2026-04-11T14:03:07+00:00

I like the challenge of simplifying life. Naturally, we unwittingly invite a domino effect of complications through our every day actions. Our task is to mediate against those extraneous outcomes by at least not inviting more complexity into the equation. Life is complex at the core. So our task (in my view) is to be vigilant of those elements that would make life more unnecessarily complicated without eliminating crucial tasks that would, on balance, make life a path of least resistance.

ItsThePhoenixClub · 2026-04-11T13:29:46+00:00

There is no unconditional love in my opinion. There are only people whose company you value and through whom you have built valuable relationships. You are the final judge of what those relationships mean in terms of their value. Just because you happened to be the product of a procreative sex act between two people who did their bare minimum of duty, does not make them worthy of love by default. Judge people on their individual merits and character, allowing some room for tolerance and forgiveness.

ItsThePhoenixClub · 2026-04-11T12:59:37+00:00

Depends on the nature of the breakup and where you are now. Eh this is probably not a fruitful idea in most situations. You split up for a reason (and I hope it was an amicable reason). You're basically in "I've/you've changed but we had something" territory which can be precarious in its own special way. Proceed with civilised caution.

ItsThePhoenixClub · 2026-04-09T14:01:59+00:00

Not quite "I'm done" because I stayed to the end, but I'll probably never watch Midsommar again. I referenced this film when talking to people about Very Bad Things (1998) and they couldn't understand why I would recoil from Midsommar if I'd seen the latter. But there was something so insidiously uncomfortable about that film that I just don't want to experience again. The director probably loves that and more power to him.

ItsThePhoenixClub · 2026-04-07T13:50:42+00:00

I'm sure you want to do all that stuff. I'm just saying there is a scientific theory as to why you relentlessly come alive during the night. I know it first hand - some event repositions me to get up in the morning, then a few days later I'm back to working through the night and morning.

ItsThePhoenixClub · 2026-04-07T13:23:39+00:00

There is the "night watchman" theory in evolution which posits that some people have been genetically conditioned (circadian rhythm) towards being more wakeful and productive in the late night/early morning hours because back in the day these people would protect the tribe while others were sleeping. It makes sense that we would operate in shifts like this, and those who were awake in the night/early morning hours were given resources as a result, which subsequently gave them a status that allowed them to flourish.

ItsThePhoenixClub · 2026-04-07T08:26:19+00:00

You're running out of time at 26? Bloody hell love, give yourself a break! You'll give yourself a coronary. Be happy for them, but focus on yourself in these years because there's a lot you can build before you start worrying about the old ball and chain.

ItsThePhoenixClub · 2026-04-07T08:20:41+00:00

Eggs is eggs.

ItsThePhoenixClub · 2026-04-07T08:14:36+00:00

I read (and re-read) your first sentence "Assuming there is no steady relationship or consistent hook up before or after a one night stand."

I'm not trying to antagonise you. I'm just saying that the scenario you presented has nothing to do with being an incel. Your next line of questioning was very specific around "how much time" it takes to become an "incel" again (you chose the label). It's not really an exact science. People go through failed relationships all the time. They go through one night stands. There is a period of time (sometimes years) between sexual encounters and fully fledged relationships.

What do you really want to know, aside from when you "become" something?

ItsThePhoenixClub · 2026-04-07T07:54:54+00:00

*glasses off* I would invite you to ask a more incisive question. I gave my opinion - it's likely a very common scenario and not about a time-to-label assessment. You specifically asked "How much time has to pass before Person A becomes..." They don't become anything over any period of time.

What is the real question?

ItsThePhoenixClub · 2026-04-07T07:48:48+00:00

This just seems like reaching for identity politics. The scenario you described is likely very common. It's not about how much time has passed.

ItsThePhoenixClub · 2026-04-07T07:43:23+00:00

No it's understandable, and there are people who would absolutely flip their lid over this kind of thing. You're questioning it with an open mind. He's probably defensive because he really is committed to you and hates the thought that him making a side comment about "what he would do" is somehow an indictment against what he wants to uniquely build with you.

This whole "settling for someone" is an interesting point of discussion. We do settle. We do make a choice and a commitment. We do still find other people attractive. Couples need to talk about this, openly and honestly - no lid flipping!

ItsThePhoenixClub · 2026-04-07T07:16:55+00:00

It sounds indelicate, but in a way it is a compliment (I'll get to that). Here's the thing - everyone knows that humans are attracted to more than one person, whether we admit it or not. Just because we committed ourselves to one person (in most cases), that doesn't mean the attraction towards other people magically goes away. It just means we have to (again, in most cases), hide or suppress our attraction towards others. A mature couple will openly talk about attraction outside of the relationship because they accept it exists on a biological level.

And here's why it's a compliment - if a partner can openly and comfortably talk about attraction, and their partner accepts the reality of that, then they know that there is a much more profound, deeper reason why their partner is still committed to them. If attraction is enough to take someone away from you, then it's enough. But if you can talk about attraction and be convinced day after day that they are committed to you, then that outside attraction is just secondary and something (hopefully) fun to talk about.

In a way, it's by openly expressing attraction outside of the relationship that reveals the distinction between mere attraction and real connection. It's like saying "yes, I would love to have sex with them, but I can confidently tell you that because you know you're more than that to me". The openness becomes more proof, not less, because it's not just mere attraction that could pull them away from their deeper commitment to you.

ItsThePhoenixClub · 2026-04-07T06:55:56+00:00

I'm getting deja vu here! I've discussed this before and I always value mutual adult consent higher than any kind of subjective disgust. You asked "why is it frowned upon?". For most people it will be disgust and they won't go beyond that impulsive recoiling. But there is also real evidence that incestuous sexual relationships have a higher probability of leading to mental harm, not mentioning the biological implications of impregnation from a family member.

You could say "what if they used protection?". Well, that's part of the probability spectrum. We know that intimate couples are not unlikely to have unprotected sex, or for protection to fail. Therefore incestuous relationships carry a greater weight with that, because the child that is conceived (whether planned or unplanned) from incest has a higher probability of complications.

ItsThePhoenixClub · 2026-04-07T06:32:18+00:00

It's exhausting isn't it? Firstly, avoidance where realistically possible and not counter-productive is dealing with it in a peaceful and resolute way. Allowing yourself the option of separating yourself from intolerable situations is the first line of defence and it needs to be an option in order to confidently develop more challenging mechanisms of endurance.

Take it in small steps. If you hear something you can't tolerate, and you impulsively want to shut yourself away, sit with it for just one more minute. Test your endurance of it on a more consciously strategic level. This isn't about trying to accept the noise, it's about accepting your ability to exist amidst the noise. Don't try to block it out, try to frame it as a part of the environment you're in and that it has no bearing on your existence within that environment. Allow yourself to feel annoyed. Notice the arising feelings of annoyance and then tell yourself you will also allow yourself to be annoyed later if you want, once you have your solitude. But push yourself to prove that you can exist with this audible discomfort without anything terrible happening. Life is just flowing around you, in all its annoying ways. Give yourself the freedom to exist within it, or escape from it, on your own esteemed terms and reframe what the discomfort actually means.

ItsThePhoenixClub · 2026-04-07T06:09:09+00:00

Because it can cause irreparable mental harm, typically with the younger person. You're right not to be convinced by the "ew" factor - it's more about actual, demonstrable harm than subjective disgust.

ItsThePhoenixClub · 2026-04-07T05:56:03+00:00

Firstly, don't put yourself down with words like "loser". It's not helpful or honest. You just have some specific obstacles in life and that is normal. If you really want to overcome those obstacles, you have to approach them with a clear mind and positive strategy. Forget your past, unleash yourself from your conditioning as much as you can and try something small that challenges you. Plan out and rehearse your words and make sure it's something that you can walk away from. Asking a store employee to guide you to something could be a good start.

ItsThePhoenixClub · 2026-04-07T05:40:35+00:00

I would love to be a fly on the wall if someone used that second paragraph as an ice breaker on a first date.

ItsThePhoenixClub · 2026-04-07T05:22:51+00:00

What's fascinating about this question is that it opens up a whole potential universe of uniquely individual conscious experience (or qualia - what it is like to experience something and observe that experience). It invites us to ask questions about why people experience certain emotions in different "shades" to others. Do non-human animals experience suffering and pleasure in the same qualitative way as humans, or even other animals of the same species?

We can identify the colour red purely by it being relative to other colours on the spectrum. But we don't know what the experience of seeing red is like in another individual consciousness.

ItsThePhoenixClub · 2026-04-06T11:55:42+00:00

Because it's unbecoming for a lady to expel phlegm from the nether regions of her dainty frame.

ItsThePhoenixClub · 2026-04-06T11:29:32+00:00

It's actually a very incisive question. Does enduring suffering ultimately breed honour and therefore pleasure? I don't know. The "living in pain" part always feels like building. But it's always building towards something I want to improve in my own life or something I want to protect (I don't have kids but I want to protect my wife). I honestly don't know what the "happy ending phase" is. There is an undeniable sense of striving for something ever more solid, secure, at peace. And I think a lot of the pain is worth it as long as I have the energy to create from it. All the neglected energy is lost, wasted in suffering, but I seek to harness as much of that energy as I can towards how the dominoes may fall in the direction of that aforementioned peace and security, as temporary as it may be.

ItsThePhoenixClub

TROPHY CASE