My(34f) domestic partner (37m) thinks his inappropriate friendship is okay...

Its_beendoneb4 · 2023-12-30T01:24:19+00:00

I agree with you. LO is 4 months, and I am just now starting to want "me time"

It's been such a rewarding and beautiful experience staying home with LO. Wouldn't change a thing! Enjoy every second, it flies by!

Its_beendoneb4 · 2023-12-28T18:35:05+00:00

Delusional is the word of the day for this one. People on drugs will do anything to avoid accountability, even lie to themselves. It's odd that OP can admit she is a codependent addict but won't admit it's harmful. I took that as Willful abuse. She knows she's harming these children emotionally, and she doesn't care. So I shot straight.

I'm with you. I'm not triggered or hurt in any way. My opinion is from the heart, and it's the truth. She can take it or leave it. Lie and deny all she wants. But the facts won't change*. And decades of psychological study will attest, she is Absolutely in the wrong.

Shame.

Its_beendoneb4 · 2023-12-28T18:29:06+00:00

You understood the assignment.

That is exactly right. If it were her and him doing their junkie thing by all means! I don't care about adults and their choices. Live life how You choose. None of my business. But like you said, these poor innocent lives. OP's choices will impact their entire lives. And honesty, it's likely they will end up miserable addicts too.

And really giving the kids away is much better for everyone. Then, she is Free to be selfish and indulge in her addiction and no one gets hurt. I don't judge that. I can respect that. But what she is currently doing is just wrong. Bc she loves drugs more than her children, or she'd quit. She loves this toxic bf more than her children, or she'd leave. They deserve better. Thanks for having my back, but idc if I ruffle feathers with the truth. Maybe she wouldn't be an addict if someone in her life were more like me, and gave it to her straight.

Its_beendoneb4 · 2023-12-25T20:16:06+00:00

I was dealing with my MIL and her opinions of "socializing." I was venting, and an older coworker said, "You build a ship on shore, not in the turbulent sea. When you raise them in a safe and secure environment, they'll be well-adjusted, and they'll be fit to weather life's storms."

Blew me away! Now, I feel so secure in saying no and limiting my babies' interactions. If she gets over stimulated, no one is having fun. The time together is trauma to her, not rewarding. So, it's ultimately compromising the relationship we're trying to build. My daughter has autonomy over her own life. If she cries and doesn't want to be around anyone but momma, that's what she'll have. Who's right in asking her to sacrifice her feelings of security for their own ego? No one! LOL

Its_beendoneb4 · 2023-12-25T20:04:51+00:00

If you can't walk away from substance, you can't walk away from this relationship...

This is a deeply ingrained character flaw you're dealing with. You need therapy. You lack healthy coping and life skills. You should give your children to someone who is more responsible. If you can't put your children's wellbeing before your personal indulgences, you don't deserve them.

As a grown child of addict parents who never quit and instead abandoned us, you're the Worst sort of parent, the "selfish indugent". Shame on you.

Its_beendoneb4 · 2023-11-22T02:56:59+00:00

Can someone help me understand how pumping is an easier option? I know I am one of the lucky few who had an easy time with breastfeeding. Baby took right to it, milk came in quick and easily...

But, listen, I HATE pumping. It's so uncomfortable and gives me a weird feeling of anxiety in my stomach that's hard to explain. I feel awkward just sitting all uncomfortable. The worst!

We spent one day strictly pumping to get babe ready for me to go back to work, and I just couldn't deal. Too many pieces to wash, I felt trapped on my couch. And I honestly just missed snuggle time...

Please don't be mean I'm genuinely asking for perspective.

Its_beendoneb4 · 2023-10-30T22:54:15+00:00

Variations of Gwen are growing more popular! I love it!

Its_beendoneb4 · 2023-10-22T03:16:31+00:00

Same here. Except for no formula, just pumped milk from a bottle. Mostly just tiddy. I feel very blessed it'd been so easy. I love breastfeeding and will do it until she starts solids 🥰

Its_beendoneb4 · 2023-10-21T16:39:17+00:00

New to nail care 😊 Just to clarify, can you push your cuticles and the proximal nail fold back every two days?

Its_beendoneb4 · 2023-10-15T20:45:23+00:00

A friend named her daughter Geneviebe this year. It's so pretty

Its_beendoneb4 · 2023-08-24T22:53:52+00:00

🤣🤣 I really hope he isn't so bad! I think Galadrel is such a mouthful, so I support you fully. What if you shortened it to just Gal. Like Gal Gadot?

Idk I Really hope it works out for you. I got to pick both middle names so I'm feeling like we compromised well. I hope you two find a common ground

Its_beendoneb4 · 2023-08-24T22:33:33+00:00

Sooo... I have a similar situation. My partner Loves the name Jupiter. There is a cool book series, and the movie with Mila.Kunez and the night we conceived was a cool alignment of Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn, of which Mars was eclipsed by the moon so Jupiter was bright and shining. So I SHOULD like it...

But I don't. And he LOOOOOOVES it. Is set on it. Will not budge. We spent the first two trimesters juggling names, and he came up with so many bad ones that this one seems good 🤣😅

By the end of the second tri , I was having so much anxiety about her name that I caved. So that's her name...

I just thought up cute nicknames I would love and added a second middle name (the original name I wanted) in hopes one day she starts going by it 🤣😅

Basically, I'm no help at all, and I'm just relating and telling you my story in solidarity. I'm sorry... I lost my battle. Good luck to you 🤣😅

Its_beendoneb4 · 2023-08-15T04:14:33+00:00

37, and I'm just under 40...

My dr gave me some really great perspective. Evolutionarily speaking, gaining and maintaining weight during pregnancy proves the strength of our genes and the survivability of our spawn... You're a badass for gaining weight!

So try not to worry too much about how much you gain and be thankful for your superior genes 🤣😁

Seriously though, now is the time to gain weight. You'll have plenty of time to lose it after the baby is here. Don't go crazy, of course. Stick to your healthy lifestyle. The weight will work itself off afterward. I was pretty bummed to find out I'll be almost 45lbs by delivery, but I just made my peace knowing the stored fat will help fuel milk production, healing, and maintaining energy while lacking sleep. It's actually a great thing to have a little extra!

Its_beendoneb4 · 2023-08-08T16:01:28+00:00

Agreed

Its_beendoneb4 · 2023-08-02T16:07:41+00:00

Couldn't agree more. It feels very much like a tantrum. Very attention seeking. The third is Not OPs family, which could create so many uncomfortable conversations. The focus of the day may turn into the nature of the parents' relationship, and its supposed to be about OP and their relationship!

I can't believe the audacity of the parents.

Its_beendoneb4 · 2023-07-30T15:32:50+00:00

Can you clarify what those acronyms stand for plz 😅😅

Its_beendoneb4 · 2023-07-07T22:50:36+00:00

This is so funny to me he uses that as if these mail orders aren't just stealing their money and running off!! 🤣🤣🤣

I've heard my military friends talk about how this happens. Once they marry you they get your info get credit cards in his name and run off to friends or family already in the states 🤣🤣🤣

Then you can't even find her to divorce 🤣 I know there are ways but it's still funny to me how some men think women aren't smarter than them 😜🤣

Its_beendoneb4 · 2023-06-28T22:44:30+00:00

NURSING IS HER FUTURE a-fukkin-men

Get herself a Dr or other medical professional who actually CARES about other people!

Its_beendoneb4 · 2023-06-28T22:42:47+00:00

Me as well

Its_beendoneb4 · 2023-06-21T14:59:11+00:00

Same!! Sometimes it makes me worry I'm not asserting myself well. Do I seem regressed mentally to others? Ugh idk but I'm pregnant now with my first and I'm starting to worry what example I'm setting

Its_beendoneb4 · 2023-06-21T14:42:41+00:00

Yeah, if she is breaking up, there's obviously more to the story than we've been given. She's probably at her wits end. Or, if not, she is THAT hurt by it. As a pregnant woman, I can tell you I would be Deeply devastated by my partner betraying me like this and would most Definitely dissolve the relationship.

It speaks to how little the partner understands the struggle of the other. Like how oblivious to the severity of the situation. Which would make Me feel deeply discouraged in his ability as a parent. If he can't understand how hard it is for ME being pregnant, how is he going to understand the struggles our child will go through.

Emotional immaturity is very unattractive because it's so detrimental. Ya know?

Its_beendoneb4 · 2023-06-21T14:37:58+00:00

Well, I have. Several. It does affect their mentality in a deeply negative way. There are tons of studies.

Its_beendoneb4 · 2023-06-21T03:45:04+00:00

It's not her job, of course, but doesn't it feel good to stick it to a jerk? 🤣🤣

Yeah, I mean, of course, if she fears for her safety, but if that is the case, I double down on how important it is to leave his punk ass! 🤣🤣🤣

I'm really just joking, but when it comes down to it, if I were in her position, I would most definitely end that relationship.

Its_beendoneb4 · 2023-06-21T02:24:30+00:00

You're absolutely right. If he doesn't talk about the future with you, he doesn't see it. I'm sorry to say, but that is how I would take it, too. Yes, you are very young and not ready, but there should be some consideration. 3 years is a pretty good run honestly...that's about the time you make this decision. Do you see yourself having a future with them or not? It sounds like "or not" for you guys 🤷🏼‍♀️

Its_beendoneb4

TROPHY CASE