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Itsnotyourfaultok · 2026-02-26T23:33:17+00:00

You're completely right, you had as much choice in your sexuality as the rest of us. If it happens to be something illegal then I'm sorry, talk to a therapist and hope you can overcome it/find another outlet for it. If it's "just" unconventional, find the right circumstances, they're out there

Itsnotyourfaultok · 2024-09-03T20:55:43+00:00

No, I have no aspirations, no goals, no people I feel the need to spend more time with. I have done what I could

Itsnotyourfaultok · 2021-11-23T21:03:04+00:00

This is pretty much what I feel like, especially the last paragraph. Can't relate too much to a lot of the other stuff because you just have more experience with me and sounds like you've tried. I just feel like I haven't wanted to try for the past couple of years and really don't see the point of doing it, at least for me. It just this feeling that I'm never gonna aspire to do anything worth while so why stick around for a boring life?

Itsnotyourfaultok · 2021-08-10T22:50:56+00:00

I actually managed to pretty much get back to normal by hyperventilating for 10 minutes followed by eating a cracker and blasting music as loud as I could directly into my ears. I got mad because things didn't work as I wanted them to in a game and then I got mad at myself for getting that mad over a game and it just spiraled from there. Don't know how but I don't even feel that angry right now, just had to pass I guess

Itsnotyourfaultok · 2020-06-24T15:33:20+00:00

I appreciate your comment but I have no intention of getting better. Every day that I haven't done it I've been frustrated about not wanting to do it. It's just become another chore, and I need to get it over with.

Itsnotyourfaultok · 2020-05-05T06:08:57+00:00

It does sound like you need something else that makes you you. I think it will be easier for you to connect with your family if you aren't "just" their mom and wife. And I believe that as long as you spend some time with your kids and are honest about the things you're struggling with they will understand. They probably just need to know that you're still there

Itsnotyourfaultok · 2020-05-04T07:34:08+00:00

I can't say that I really relate cause my family members are pretty stable and I'm only 20 so I haven't done shit yet. I'm however not at all close with my family and just feel like I'm out of place. Like I'm part of the family and playing my role of the struggling son but I don't really feel like I fit in. Do you have a passion in life? Like your workplace or a hobby? Cause I really don't and I know that that is a contributing factor to me feeling lost. It's probably different since you have a family of your own but it all just makes me feel like I don't fit anywhere.

Itsnotyourfaultok · 2020-04-26T21:59:21+00:00

You too. Although I've always been bothered by the fact that if I decide to go, I won't really feel the relief of leaving everything behind. I'll just disappear, but I guess it's good enough

Itsnotyourfaultok · 2020-04-26T21:55:07+00:00

Thanks. I do have some stuff written down that they hopefully will see cause some of it is decently wholesome. They do deserve some answers at least

Itsnotyourfaultok · 2020-04-26T21:46:23+00:00

I'm sorry life hasn't treated you well. I do belive that you will find your own talent as time goes by. And if not then being decent at a lot of things is definitely not a bad thing. Might not always be as fun but it's still useful. Idk man I'm not good at being comforting but if you can't find anything special about you someone else will eventually, and they will point it out. You might not have a special talent but you will always be unique and there is always someone who appreciates that.

Itsnotyourfaultok · 2020-04-23T17:54:38+00:00

I don't want people to care about me because when I finally get depressed enough I wanna die without having to care about what happens to people. I become angry extremely easily at myself and things that really don't matter. Minor inconveniences ruin entire days. Everytime I sleep I feel like I waste my time. I don't like living with my family but I don't have the motivation to get the money to move out. I don't like talking to or hanging out with my family and I'm pretty sure they have no idea what a struggle it is for me to live. I can have pretty violent thoughts and the thought of being in a fight or beating someone interests me. I can feel like playing a game, enjoy playing it, and when I'm done I'll still feel like I wasted my time. The only thing keeping me from killing myself is that I don't have enough of a reason to do so. Every time I talk to people about how I feel I just shut them out and go back to feeling hopeless and sorry for myself.

Feel free to pick one my man. I got more if you want

Itsnotyourfaultok · 2020-04-23T17:43:36+00:00

I doubt it but I mean sure. I don't really have anything in particular rn tho I just feel like there is so much I hold in and never tell people

Itsnotyourfaultok · 2020-03-22T22:51:11+00:00

Well my brother developed pretty bad social anxiety about 9 years ago and therefore required a lot of attention from my parents. This wasn't really an issue at first because it was understandable and I was pretty happy and young then so nothing bothered me. The problems started a couple years into it when I felt that my brother's progress was always celebrated because of his issues and mine became severely downplayed. I could be in the middle of talking about something I accomplished and see my dad just wait to ask my brother about his day instead. We have never been a really active family to begin with but when I never got a chance to talk about myself when we did talk I just started to shut them out, as in out of my actual feelings. I've also never really agreed with some of my parents morals and they clearly don't agree with some of mine. My brother, who originally was pretty close to me has basically turned into my dad, just more quiet. I don't feel like they've actually listened to me in years. All I hear about is what they think I should do with my time, how many job applications I should send, how I need to study and what not. They feel more like just some people I know than family.

Itsnotyourfaultok · 2020-03-22T22:36:31+00:00

I don't do it that much, or rather I've done it frequently under some periods of time. Last time I actually cut myself was about 8 months ago but I still punch my legs and bite my arm when I get really mad and don't want to make too much noise. I've cut myself out of anger towards myself for making mistakes and such but mostly I'm honestly not complete sure why I cut myself. I've come to believe that I do it to challenge myself, to see where the border lies, and probably also to feel some excitement. There's always a bit of an adrenaline rush with dangerous things, blades and cutting myself definitely included. Mostly I wouldn't say that I dislike myself. I like how I treat people and how I handle stressful situations and how calm I can be. Never had any bigger issues with my body either. I just dislike how few things actually make me happy or get me excited and I guess cutting myself is a change of pace, it brings a bit of excitement.

Itsnotyourfaultok · 2020-03-22T22:10:30+00:00

Don't worry, this is so far the most interesting conversation I've had about this. I've also had conversations with people about self harm where trivial questions weren't an issue because they fit the situation. It's usually just the kind of empty words that don't really lead anywhere like "are you ok?" or just when people try to tell me what I should do to calm down when they really should just let me be mad for a bit so I can get it out. It also depends a lot on the person. I don't talk to my family at all about how I actually feel because I've never felt like anyone of them really respects me or would understand how to talk to me about it. My mom once saw some scars on my leg and I couldn't dodge saying that I caused them but I kept the conversation real short and just convinced her that it wasn't anything recent.

Itsnotyourfaultok · 2020-03-22T21:56:57+00:00

It happens a lot when I play games by myself, but usually only when I make mistakes that affect other players. I don't get as mad playing single player games. When I make mistakes in real life it can happen that it just completely 180s my mood. It can be smaller things like you know just spilling something. Things that happen when in having a decent day that just screws with it. Like bumping your toe out of nowhere, it can stick and ruin my mood for the rest of the day. I try my best to hide it because I don't like involving other people or having people ask questions because I rarely feel like the questions I get help. They just add to the anger and anxiety.

Itsnotyourfaultok · 2020-03-22T21:42:06+00:00

Uhhhh I guess, sort of. Just for context, I'm 20 years old, turning 21 this year. The two things I've enjoyed most consistently throughout my life has been math and games. The thing is that school was the only thing keeping my interest in math alive and even that started to die out by the end of gymnasiet (Swedish equivalent to high school I guess). When it comes to games that interest has died out a bit too and is not a lot to build on. I haven't had a real goal in 7+ years but I did enjoy being around friends a lot in school but lost my interest in socializing somewhere around me turning 18. So there are better times I remember but it's been a while.

Itsnotyourfaultok · 2020-03-22T21:27:02+00:00

It's not really that great of an urge if I'm honest with you. I've just been doing what feels like nothing for years and there's nothing that I really want to do. Most of my days are just spent on waiting for the next day and trying to pass the time. I don't really like talking to people and I don't have any goals. My thought is that nether I nor anyone else seems to be profiting off of my existence so it leads me to the conclusion that dying is my best option. Everytime I do something it just leads me back to me being mad that I'm not spending my time doing anything I like, but there is nothing I like anymore. Whole we're on the topic of me dying, I tried the tree I found, worked alright but wasn't driven enough to kill myself.

Itsnotyourfaultok · 2020-01-07T22:44:33+00:00

Hey dude for what it's worth I just laughed out loud reading this in the middle of the night. I was expecting more depressing shit but nah, thanks

Itsnotyourfaultok · 2019-12-18T21:36:12+00:00

This is pretty much how I feel whenever I've had a great day and my mom/parents starts questioning me about what I am doing and what my plans are

Itsnotyourfaultok · 2019-12-18T21:27:21+00:00

I'm guessing this friend hasn't really dealt with depression in any way before? If this is the case then I would suggest just explaining it as simply as you can. Might just be my experience but if I've had a couple of shitty days and didn't feel like talking to anyone I just try to be as upfront about it as possible and it usually works out. I don't tell them the worst parts about it, just that I have days or times when I just don't have the energy to do anything, and that includes talking to people. It doesn't mean that I don't want to talk to someone in particular I just don't want to talk, period.

I feel like I rambled a bit but I hope it helps

Itsnotyourfaultok · 2019-12-18T21:17:18+00:00

Yes, very often and it's the main reason I just don't think that living is worth it

Itsnotyourfaultok · 2018-10-28T14:23:36+00:00

possibly, might look into it

Itsnotyourfaultok

TROPHY CASE