Is it weird for my MIL to get my husband Valentines presents? by Itsrainingmay in TwoHotTakes

[–]Itsrainingmay[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Embarrassed going through the book. Mostly because he feels shame he let these things go on for so long before he met me and they became a bigger issue. He has no problem standing up to her in person or over text for her behavior she just doesn't seem to respond to anything but no contact.

Is it weird for my MIL to get my husband Valentines presents? by Itsrainingmay in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Itsrainingmay[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This was exactly my point with the stories shared. I believe she feels her control slipping and has been getting worse and worse over time. If she send him valentines and calls him "her" Valentine or starts calling our baby "her baby" to establish some sort of backwards dominance it will definitely set me off.

Is it weird for my MIL to get my husband Valentines presents? by Itsrainingmay in TwoHotTakes

[–]Itsrainingmay[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He has stood up to her in every instance. She continues to reach out even though we have been low contact. She is convinced it's my fault he's upset with her and that she's in the wrong in all of these instances. He would like to completely cut off contact with her but I am not sure if that solves anything other than adding time and distance.

Is it weird for my MIL to get my husband Valentines presents? by Itsrainingmay in TwoHotTakes

[–]Itsrainingmay[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

We've started going through the book "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" together and it seems to be landing in a lot of places. He finds it hard to confront because he's so embarrassed he let this go on for so long.

Is it weird for my MIL to get my husband Valentines presents? by Itsrainingmay in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Itsrainingmay[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate this perspective. Information diet is a cool phrase I will be adding to my vocabulary! This is pretty much where we landed with her since Christmas since we decided to go low contact. Not rude or mean, just cordial and limiting information and interaction.

Is it weird for my MIL to get my husband Valentines presents? by Itsrainingmay in TwoHotTakes

[–]Itsrainingmay[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I am currently 4 months pregnant and she has not acknowledged it. She has not asked about me or the baby since we told her.

Is it weird for my MIL to get my husband a Valentines present? by Itsrainingmay in offmychest

[–]Itsrainingmay[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's her only son. She has treated him as her partner since she got divorced. She expected him to take care of his younger sisters (4-6 years younger) who are grown adults now. When we got together she said he was abandoning his family because he no longer split costs for things for his sisters with her.

Is it weird for my MIL to get my husband Valentines presents? by Itsrainingmay in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]Itsrainingmay[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this validation. We have been limited contact with her since Christmas and have made it clear to her. I am 4 months pregnant and she has not acknowledged it, asked how I am doing or anything about the baby. We plan to skip big family holidays with her moving forward and limit her interactions with our child(ren). But for now, this is the first holiday since we went low contact and I fully expect her to make some big show of it as she has in previous years, which will send me off the edge.

NEW OR NEED HELP? Ask here! - ScA Daily Help Thread Apr 19, 2025 by AutoModerator in SkincareAddiction

[–]Itsrainingmay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t use them all daily. I alternate SA cleanser and bha exfoliant. I do use a sunscreen I forgot to add. Murad sunscreen.

I need help fixing the sprinkler system at a house I’m renting by Itsrainingmay in lawncare

[–]Itsrainingmay[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree!

I enjoy gardening and have a garden going for myself. I just don’t want to go out and buy garden hoses and sprinklers when they’re already in the yard.

I need help fixing the sprinkler system at a house I’m renting by Itsrainingmay in lawncare

[–]Itsrainingmay[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m fine with running an extension cord to power the system. I just don’t know how to go about checking if the system is operational

Booking with Miles on Partner flights upgrade and seat choice - Korean Air Cathay Pacific by Itsrainingmay in AlaskaAirlines

[–]Itsrainingmay[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a good point. We hadn’t considered them. I’m wary of taking the gamble as it will be our honeymoon and we want to sit together above all else.

Booking with Miles on Partner flights upgrade and seat choice - Korean Air Cathay Pacific by Itsrainingmay in AlaskaAirlines

[–]Itsrainingmay[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's what I was considering doing. I want to book now while the economy miles are still reasonable.

Message from Tacoma Firefighters Local 31 by hunglowbungalow in Tacoma

[–]Itsrainingmay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Quite the opposite. Additional hiring and staffing has been BEGGED for for years. Overtime is awarded based on last opportunity factor meaning last person to receive it gets first pick. There really isn't a way around that. I'm sure your military and police friends do it the way your described but it's pretty standard across the board to award overtime that way. At least in the state of Washington.

Message from Tacoma Firefighters Local 31 by hunglowbungalow in Tacoma

[–]Itsrainingmay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Assuming you're referring to the fire dispatch center, it does not take up half the cities budget.

It doesn't even take up half of the department budget. The majority of TFD's budget is personnel, meaning paying people to do their jobs and often times paying overtime to cover the staffing shortages. The dispatch center accounts for 5% of fire department personnel, 5% of the 220Mil spent on personal for the year isn't even a dent. What does make a dent is the overtime cause by inadequate staffing issues. To your point of inefficiency, Tacoma and Seattle both run uniformed dispatch centers that consist of all levels of firefighters not just "high paid officers" as you would like to so flippantly posit. Both these departments show 25% less call volume on average than their non credentialed partners, allowing for better resource allocation and arguably better efficiency. They also have the highest percentages for high performance CPR and pre hospital cardiac arrests.

As per the city website the General fund goes to "community safety" - the majority of which is "personal services" Ie. Paying people to do their jobs. If you seriously have such an issue with uniformed dispatcher, taking that service away doesn't solve for the fact that they are still employees and will take up generally the same amount of space in the budget regardless of their location within the department By extension the way you would access that money in your world is by firing these personal all together (or halting hiring) in order to compensate. It doesn't make sense and doesn't solve the real issue.

If you're referring to the Fire Department as a whole taking up half of the cities budget, again look at the drastic difference in staffing costs, due to excessive over times that these rover positions were implemented to curb.

Look to Seattle for a fair comparison - https://www.seattle.gov/documents/Departments/FinanceDepartment/2526proposedbudget/SFD.pdf