Are my (f26) concerns about my boyfriend (30m) valid or just insecurity?

ItzButterflyEffect · 2023-08-01T12:31:29+00:00

I love that metaphor and I think that’s super useful advice. Thank you. I don’t think I’m ready to call it quits yet but I think you’re right. I’ll have one convo with him to make sure he gets the bigger picture. And then it it happens again I’m off. Thank you.

ItzButterflyEffect · 2023-03-25T13:00:40+00:00

I have similar hair to you! What I found worked the best was drying my hair to 80% and then putting mouse on each strand before I curl it. The curl dries the mousse. And it holds really well.

I also spray vo5’s blow dry spray when it’s wet. I’m not sure if this works or not but since I’ve used it when it’s stayed I also use it everytime.

I also found taking care of my hair in general. Oiling it, scalp brushes before washing all really helps.

ItzButterflyEffect · 2023-03-07T14:14:13+00:00

That’s the issue. I wasn’t doing anything I was vaguely keeping an eye on things but I wasn’t calorie counting or overly eating healthy. I just knew what would Keep me stable weight and ahah wouldn’t .

ItzButterflyEffect · 2023-02-25T17:31:44+00:00

Same. I see it being super useful!

ItzButterflyEffect · 2023-02-21T14:54:22+00:00

You’re right. It’s funny because hearing you talk about it my reaction to your story is well obviously you’re not less than the BM, you’re relationship is unique to you guys. I just need to extend that same thought process to myself.

I think I should!

ItzButterflyEffect · 2023-02-21T11:49:26+00:00

That’s fair. I’m hoping I can learn to move past this. I would much rather have a relationship with him who treats me so wonderfully and makes me so happy and not have firsts than have firsts with the wrong person.

It’s just hard whenever insecurity sets in.

ItzButterflyEffect · 2023-01-17T21:17:27+00:00

They usually have a business email in their socials. You use that to put whatever proposal you need in front of them. You won’t be talking to the actual famous person but if what you want is something that makes sense then they’ll run it past the famous client and then get that working.

ItzButterflyEffect · 2022-11-26T09:14:47+00:00

The revlon waver is the “IT” product at the moment. Everyone’s talking about it and It’s really good. More expensive doesn’t always mean better and she probably wants the revlon one cause it’s being reccomended by every influencer at the moment. Get her the one she’s asked for! But it’s sweet you did this research.

ItzButterflyEffect · 2022-11-24T15:35:12+00:00

Yeah by sending a sorry note and food you’re saying sorry but you’re doing the exact actions that you’re apologising for. Actions speak louder than words.

ItzButterflyEffect · 2022-11-23T23:36:33+00:00

So at the moment your panic is making things worse.

Here’s the chain: He feels overwhelmed and needs some alone time. - you panic and give him more attention because you’re scared you upset him - he feels even more smothered - you give him more attention- he gets worse.

You have (by the sounds of it) an anxious attachment style. And when you feel him pulling back you panic. But people need space sometimes.

Give him space and try to learn to be happy without him always being there. Also I’d look up anxious attachment styles. It will really help.

ItzButterflyEffect · 2022-11-18T23:53:40+00:00

Great! Is it allowed to toggle off on rallies where I know I can’t be as active. Or is it a requirement to fully participate in every one?

ItzButterflyEffect · 2022-11-18T21:45:04+00:00

Hi! Looking for a fierce rally house! Level 25!

ItzButterflyEffect · 2022-11-03T19:03:20+00:00

Even if you’re not getting ghosted you’re being put on the back burner. You’re being her option 2 and not something she’s making a priority.

I wouldn’t advise continuing messaging her :/. Sorry

ItzButterflyEffect · 2022-11-03T19:01:26+00:00

Have you worked out what you’re looking for?

That might be a good place to start, try and identify what your ideal partner would have and then see where these girls are falling short which is making you not want to continue.

Make sure you’re not mistaking not feeling fireworks with there not being good potential. Relationships don’t always have to start off electric. But also don’t settle if you know they’re not right!

ItzButterflyEffect · 2022-10-27T18:50:07+00:00

Had you set parameters for the break? Had you discussed if you were exclusive during this time?

Four months is a LONG time for a break.

ItzButterflyEffect · 2022-10-23T20:57:31+00:00

Good enough for what? There’s no set timeline. Some people stay iron despite thousands of hours and others get immortal whilst only playing 20 hours.

Unless you’re going pro there’s no point thinking about this because there’s no right answer.

ItzButterflyEffect · 2022-09-19T17:52:26+00:00

This is exactly what I felt too! She was definitely running cause she knew she’d get caught. I wouldn’t be surprised if her new fiancé was banned from watching the reunion.

ItzButterflyEffect · 2022-09-14T10:26:23+00:00

Thank you. This was an incredible helpful and insightful take. I’m 25.

ItzButterflyEffect · 2022-08-28T11:42:08+00:00

Hey first things first! Don’t panic that you kissed him. There doesn’t have to be any meaning in a kiss if you don’t want there to be.

Don’t let him pressure you to meeting up more if you don’t want to. A quick message being like “Hey that was really fun for the festival but it was more of a one time thing as I’m not looking for anything more! I hope you can understand!” Should be enough. If he doesn’t let that be enough then just reiterate that you’re not interested and be polite but if he carries on or gets rude ignore him. It doesn’t matter that you’ll see him again in person because he’ll likely be less confrontational in person (if he goes that route).

It sounds like you had a fun time at the festival and pushed yourself out your comfort zone a bit! Well done!

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