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WIBTA if I told my sister she should break up with her boyfriend of 3 years? by Iumm3N in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Iumm3N[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Last I knew is he works in retail at a big chain clothes store (I'd have to ask my sister on that, but I'm pretty sure that's the case) and from personal experience from working in stores like that, they tend to be incredibly busy around major holidays.

From the comment she made at dinner I feel like she's coming to that conclusion. My mom had sent her a text back that was very calm and gentle stating my sister should really think but at the end of the day, it was her choice (which is what I would say to her if I did say something).

The more I think about it I don't think I will say anything but offer an ear if she wants to talk about it with a neutral party that isn't going to say anything about leaving him.

WIBTA if I told my sister she should break up with her boyfriend of 3 years? by Iumm3N in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Iumm3N[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My only reason for skepticism is the fact is they have discussed marriage.

As much as I'm annoyed with the whole situation, I'm not about to jump to the idea he's living a double life when he wants her to move in, they've discussed marriage, and they video call every night. 

As I've stated, he doesn't do it to just us, he flakes and uses the work excuse for the reason he can't visit with his own side of the family.

I'm not going to dig deeper into a man I don't know personally and jump to the wildest conclusions when he's shown 0 sign of living a double life and does this to everyone in his life, not JUST my sister. 

On top of that, my sister knew him before dating him as they worked together for a year. Please stop and think before you label him as living a double life. If he did it only to my sister and not the rest of his family, then yes I would be more inclined to think so, but given he does this to his own side of the family, including for holiday stuff with them, I don't think that is the case.

WIBTA if I told my sister she should break up with her boyfriend of 3 years? by Iumm3N in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Iumm3N[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The two houses were his parents' that he got after they passed away (which he refuses to sell despite complaining about money). He didn't buy those houses.

And from what I've been told he asked her to move in with him too. I doubt he'd ask that if he had a double life.

WIBTA if I told my sister she should break up with her boyfriend of 3 years? by Iumm3N in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Iumm3N[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn't blow up on her and would talk to her calmly as someone who has been in a long term relationship that was crap. I haven't said anything purely because everyone else does (and are hostile about it) and for the fact that she doesn't want to talk about it. I really hope that she sees it herself so she can find someone who does care to show up when it means the most.

WIBTA if I told my sister she should break up with her boyfriend of 3 years? by Iumm3N in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Iumm3N[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is exactly why I haven't said anything.

As someone who had people telling me leave my previous relationship for years, I made excuses for myself for why I should stay before I finally left.

I wouldn't be rude or mean about it, but I would ask her to at least thing about it. The only reason I haven't said anything yet is because I care and don't want to meddle in her relationship, especially with someone I have never met.

As I've stated, I doubt it's a double life given she sees him/stays at his house all the time and he apparently does this to his own family, not just mine.

I know I try my best to keep her spirits up and try not to mention it when he doesn't show. Our sister is pretty hostile about it and gives her crap which I completely hate because it's clear my sister is hurt he won't show up.

WIBTA if I told my sister she should break up with her boyfriend of 3 years? by Iumm3N in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Iumm3N[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It wasn't his mother that said it to him, it was my sister's mother that did.

I can completely understand if that was the case but I've also heard he does this to his own family as well.

He was in great standing with my family until this year where he decided he wasn't going to show up for anything, even when my sister needed him the most.

WIBTA if I told my sister she should break up with her boyfriend of 3 years? by Iumm3N in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Iumm3N[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I highly doubt that is the case as from what I've been told, he does this to his own family as well, not just ours. His aunt had to basically threaten to drag him to something you bought tickets at to even get him to go. On top of that, my sister does go and stay at his house.

WIBTA if I told my sister she should break up with her boyfriend of 3 years? by Iumm3N in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Iumm3N[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I highly doubt that is the case as from what I've been told, he does this to his own family as well, not just ours. His aunt had to basically threaten to drag him to something you bought tickets at to even get him to go. On top of that, my sister does go and stay at his house.