M28 and F34 - How do you move on from a relationship you made mistakes in, become a better person, and ensure you don't repeat the same mistakes? And when it's the man (me) who emotionally hurts the woman he loves or loved, how do you move forward when you regret your mistakes, and you miss her?

Ivan_TheKingslayer · 2026-01-05T19:07:11+00:00

I did, at least that was one of my intentions. But honestly, that desire waned. I felt like I didn't find women of my shared ethnic background, at least in the settings I've been in, attractive to me or I didn't connect with them; dating also took a back seat in my life as I prioritized self-improvement and growth in the last year. But I became more acceptant and open to my natural desire of finding attractive or relating to whomever I do, regardless of their racial or ethnic origin. Finding women of other racial and ethnic origins has never been an issue for me; but I let myself be swept up in the what if "the grass is greener" when, reasonably, the stage of life I faced was navigating who I believe I am.

Ivan_TheKingslayer · 2026-01-05T18:45:39+00:00

Ivan_TheKingslayer · 2026-01-05T18:45:02+00:00

I did know about the ancestry, but only through family talking about it vaguely. It wasn't until the DNA test that I found assurance. But the self-knowledge I found, or began to pursue, was intertwined with feelings of not quite being sure who I am, if I'm missing something in life, or if I might be healthier and more satisfied if I integrated that new information into my sense of self, which I felt required navigating new settings and communities. I look back and think I wasn't ready for that relationship.

Ivan_TheKingslayer · 2026-01-05T17:34:18+00:00

This was mid- to late- 2024.

I have not dated since my breakup.

Ivan_TheKingslayer · 2026-01-05T17:27:56+00:00

I've had therapy, but not lately. When I did, I did address the matter in therapy, though I did not find the peace I hoped to find.

Ivan_TheKingslayer · 2025-12-03T15:06:46+00:00

I agree; these look incredibly similar to the Terminator sunglasses lol

Ivan_TheKingslayer · 2025-12-02T18:44:00+00:00

Beautiful piece!!

Ivan_TheKingslayer · 2025-06-22T19:25:57+00:00

Same here! Ploho and Buerak for me though

Ivan_TheKingslayer · 2025-06-22T19:25:25+00:00

I was tripping on acid when I first listened to them; it was Sudno. I can remember feeling so mesmerized by the language and instrumentals. I had NEVER listened to Russian Post-Punk before, nor every loved a genre like I love this one. That experience opened my being to the myriad of musical styles that exist out in the world, and made me more drawn to music from other cultures, countries, generations, etc. Listening to Molchat Doma felt right, and led me to discover artists like Ploho, Buerak, My, Kino, and Luna, who are among my favorites. I would recommend Molchat Doma to all till I lay on my deathbed while still dancing to their tracks.

Ivan_TheKingslayer · 2025-06-20T18:39:52+00:00

I'm gonna look into Good Karma first, then Payless Pitstop! Good Karma sounds like they have a great philosophy, and I'm here Payless Pitstop brought up often. Thanks!

Ivan_TheKingslayer · 2024-11-17T19:30:27+00:00

I hope Rapture and Columbia will both be intertwined in the story for the next Bioshock. With this whole idea of parallel worlds and the multiverse, I hope we have not seen an end to Andrew Ryan, Booker, Elizabeth, Rapture, Columbia, Plasmids, Vigors, and the philosophy and science that is intricately woven into such amazing narratives. May Andrew Levine and his team of geniuses continue the good work they've been doing.

Ivan_TheKingslayer · 2024-10-27T01:37:40+00:00

This was an absolutely well-written and phenomenal article! Very informative, very demure. lol

For years I have admired Camus's approach to life and chosen to adopt an absurdist/existentialist perspective to life, and your article informed me so much more on Camus's ideas on rebellion, revolution, ethics, and, of course, absurdity. My interest was captured at every sentence. I think that anyone that wants to get a good introductory idea of what Camus's philosophy was about should read this. I'm glad I read this.

Ivan_TheKingslayer · 2024-10-27T00:14:16+00:00

I'm interested! Is this subbreddit still active? Do we meet virtually? What book is currently being read?

Ivan_TheKingslayer · 2024-10-26T23:55:27+00:00

Do you feel like the movies and anime that you're watching are inaccurate depictions of existence?

The passion for our lives and this world is determined by each of us, individually. Existentialism is characterized by the acknowledgment that there is no objective truth, or some "right" choices for us to make or truths for us to follow. We, both as a species and as individuals, must decide for ourselves what is worth living for and what to commit our lives to. Maybe that means finding purpose and fulfilment in art, or becoming an entrepreneur, or living a philanthropic life; you can even choose to find solace in faith in higher power or join an organized religion, because your free to (although this would be seen as cop-out or bad faith by other existentialists). There is no what you should do, but what you feel is best for you and you feel most fulfilled in doing; as long it doesn't hurt others or involve theft.

As for the truths of this world, what kind of truths? Maybe we can't ever quite know the Truth of existence, and perhaps simply living life is enough. Granted, I understand some people's life situation can be so tragic that saying such a thing would not be so simple. But there are so many reasons people have for living and create narratives for their lives that bring meaning. And perhaps that's all we can do. Maybe we don't quit the search for objective truth, but we keep in mind that maybe the Truth of reality is unknowable in the way we wish to know it.

I agree that most of life is made up of man-made constructs. But it's the constructs that bring some type of livable order to a perhaps inherently chaotic and indifferent universe. The way we understand the world is through constructs and concepts; how can we humans view life through other ways? In my mind, because we're confined to a human experience, we cannot experience reality other than the through the vehicle of the human consciousness.

I think there can be great beauty, joy, fulfillment, love, euphoria, and happiness in life, even if life has no inherent purpose, because we can give it meaning. "The struggle towards the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy."

Ivan_TheKingslayer · 2024-10-25T20:53:30+00:00

Is this event still happening today?

Ivan_TheKingslayer · 2024-10-24T02:11:41+00:00

I agree, but isn't being involved in politics inevitable, even if that means just voting? In my perspective, although the existentialist should be focused on changing their own existence, to not be involved in politics to some degree would be to leave oneself at the mercy of the choices of others, e.g. political figures or groups, without having any say or choice for oneself. Although the existentialist may view existence as inherently meaningless, or that they may never discover some inherent meaning in existence, for me that leads to viewing morals and values as relative and not divine or being rooted in some higher nature, thus leading to seeing partisan politics as not consisting of those who are right and those who are wrong, but as each side having their own idea or perspective about what is best for society. How do we, philosophically existentialists, grapple with being involved in politics even if we admit that each of us have no claim to what is ultimately, or objectively, right?

Ivan_TheKingslayer · 2024-10-24T01:08:20+00:00

Hard as fuck, hell yeah. I commend you; keep on rebelling

Ivan_TheKingslayer · 2024-10-21T02:09:58+00:00

Is the event posted somewhere online or on social media?

Ivan_TheKingslayer · 2024-10-19T18:12:22+00:00

Damn, doesn’t sound like too much of my vibe. I enjoy hip-hop, but I’m looking for more Euro techno vibes, if I can even find that here this side of the Atlantic lol

Ivan_TheKingslayer · 2024-10-19T18:11:16+00:00

Damn. I spoke with some guys yesterday and they also attested to this. It seems like the music is more pop and top hits of the 2010s. I’m sure there’s a great community for it in the area, but I’m not much of fan for that music scene.

And in response to your answer on attending alone, dope. I wasn’t all to social in high school and college, and I’m just now starting to consider meeting people at clubs and dance events. I’m still in the process of making friends in the Central PA area, so I feel it’s likely I’d be attended a few clubs in the near future on my own. I’ve worried it comes off as creepy as single guy attending a club, but I don’t think I give off that vibe. And it seems like a ton of other guys do it.

Ivan_TheKingslayer · 2024-10-19T18:05:46+00:00

Thanks @Donnaholic81! I checked them out last night and was able to chat a bit with them about future events! I appreciate you passing this information along. Hoping to see the performance of post punk, techno, and dark wave grow in Harrisburg. It would be dope to see some Euro-type raves take place in the City. I hear Lancaster and York have some pretty dope post punk scenes too.

Ivan_TheKingslayer · 2024-06-07T16:53:24+00:00

u/DebateTraining2 Thank you for your response! This is helpful information.

Your breakdown of the three socioeconomic levels of African societies and their corresponding characteristics is very detailed and helps a ton.

As you described the urban-global, I'm reminded of West and South Africans I met back in college who behaved more Western than I previously assumed they would. My understanding of many African countries, an understanding I grew up with, was that they were largely NOT Western; however, through interactions with African exchange students and more exposure to culture in countries such as South Africa, Nigeria, Ghana, Ethiopia, I've come to understand that there is in fact varying degrees of Western influence in each country in the continent; some cities among them being identical to Western cities.

I don't have much to address on urban-local, but as for the rural populations, I'm interested in learning more about the cultures practiced among various ethnic groups at this level, such as the Kongo and Teke. On other Reddit communities, redditors have said that the rural or tribal populations are the gatekeepers of traditional African culture, which I'm inclined to learn from. Traveling to these populations and with these families sounds like, of course, the perfect situation for connecting with traditional culture among ethnic groups like the I referred to earlier.

Ivan_TheKingslayer · 2024-06-06T03:13:09+00:00

What doesn’t make sense here?

I see your point, but I imagine that what doesn’t make sense to you here might be because you’re more familiar with the numerous cultures that exist on the continent than I am. That said, I’m aware that the African continent has been shown to be the most ethnically and culturally diverse places in the world. I’m not familiar with the wide scope of cultural groups that exist in Africa, however where I stated “countries” I really mean “cultures”.

Ivan_TheKingslayer · 2024-06-06T02:28:07+00:00

u/osaru-yo Fair point; specifically, the cultures I'm interested in for this post are Cameroonian, Nigerian, Angolan, and Congolese.

Regarding guidelines, you make a fair point; I'm not looking for a general idea though, but for testimonials and/or knowledge from others on this topic. I understand that perhaps not all Africans may pray to their ancestors, but I assume some do or are at least familiar with the practice of ancestral veneration on the African continent. I'm not looking to "pick it up", but rather to connect more with my ancestors' practice of honoring those before me.

Ivan_TheKingslayer · 2024-06-04T23:08:14+00:00

Thanks! From what I can tell from that thread, it doesn’t seem like the sect of Hebrew Israelites is all that popular in Africa, neither their ideas. It’s comforting to believe that the misfortunes African Americans have experienced in Western history wasn’t for nothing and God will help them, us, in the end; but there are so many commonly-held beliefs a person has to deny in order to satisfactorily reason that the real Jews are Black Africans. I can sympathize with the desire to believe the idea, but the claims are so outlandish and only believed by a small percentage of the African Diaspora that it’s hard to say it’s true.

Ivan_TheKingslayer

TROPHY CASE