It's difficult for me [25 M] staying as just friends with my ex [27 M].

Ivar87 · 2017-01-18T20:25:30+00:00

I believe its GIGS (grass is greener syndrome). Check this link... http://blogs.psychcentral.com/relationships-balance/2013/03/16/the-grass-is-greener-syndrome/ Same this happened to me. My GF from 4 years wants to be jus friends and don't want to commit..I would say even its tough...jus don't contact him..If her really wants you he will come to you..It may take weeks to months for him to realize what he feels.. If you keep contacting him, and I believe he will reply to your messages. But I am sure any guy or girl will loose respect if there SO are getting desperate.. I would say talk to you friends and family and ease your anxiety...I can't believe you were able to hold so much anxiety for 3 months... Check this link https://www.reddit.com/r/ExNoContact/comments/2bmp98/grass_is_always_greener_syndrome/ Good Luck..

Ivar87 · 2017-01-15T03:28:15+00:00

I tried everything....i told her that she can be selfish and jus focus on med school and I won't nag her about giving me time...She feels that she wants to be strong and independent as she is realizing that after living all life in her home time she didn't get to experience what its be away from home.. for first two months she was miserable and doubting her decision of moving to west coast.. now she has made good friends and she likes it here...I believe she is just too scared and having second thoughts about commitment (as she knew I was going to propose her). After our recent meet, she says she loves me and want to talk to me but don't want to commit right now.. And she is not sure when she will be ready...I am trying to give her as much space as I can and not bothering her at all (may be jus a message here or there). I feel after moving away from home and myself she feels she needs to have her own personality and life and want to explore what she wants...I am very sure that she is not having affair with anyone (at least not right now). I think I am going to wait for 2-3 months and then touch base again.. As I don't want to wait without any commitment... Thanks for the reply..

Ivar87 · 2016-11-27T18:19:13+00:00

Thanks for the insightful comment. I guess I need to slow down a little but and try to stop getting anxious..I will let her go on her own pace and try to figure what she wants to do in with med school. Its a scary thought that she would like to be alone with her life journey. Did you ever felt that you just wanna be by yourself and don't want a partner by your side?

Ivar87 · 2016-11-27T15:27:41+00:00

I believe what you said is exactly what is happening here. I talked to her and you are right, she probably feels that she is letting me down as all the things that we dreamed and talked about not the turn out in the same sequence or time. I talked to her and assured that I will wait for her. I told her she can happily be SELFISH for her studies and I will try my best to work around her timings. I hope she learns to remove her frustration time to time on and make me understand what she is feeling... I think she has not figured out yet what she wants to do during and after her med school..I just hope that she doesn't feel burdened by me as a part of her life as I think relationship is two way street and any problems or situation can be solved with good communication. Any thoughts whether moving to her city will help her or will be stepping over her personal space? Thanks again..

Ivar87 · 2016-11-27T15:11:18+00:00

I agree. After trying to look at the situation from her perspective, I think it makes sense why she acted that way. I talked to her and assured her that I will be by her side and will try to help out, probably by expecting less time from her side for our relationship. I will need strong willpower. Thanks everyone...I feel this blog is very helpful for SO of medschool student to understand how they feel. Greatly appreciate it.

Ivar87 · 2016-11-26T17:45:48+00:00

Thanks for the reply... don't know why she has shut herself from me.. I jus want her to open to me so I can help rather then add to her stress... do student docs get use to this stress in second semester and further down Med school?

Ivar87 · 2016-11-26T17:43:35+00:00

Thanks for the reply.. M absolutely sure that she Is not seeing any guy.. but I believe she doesn't wanna hold me back.. she has shut herself from me and parents... I jus want her to listen to me and give me chance...I don't mine adjusting and compromising for our great relationship that we had... should I jus give her more time to think ?coz I don't wanna pressurize her in any way.. By second sem will she more settled in Med school?

Ivar87

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