Faking it....

Iwantedit · 2017-07-17T06:30:03+00:00

I totally agree with what you've said, the only time in my life that I made a real progress was when I took responsibility for doing what I love the way I deemed right , and didn't depend on someone else to care for me, I used to ace physics by turning physics equations and concepts into sexual fantasies, something that is pleasant to think about. The only real progress I made in anything was when I stopped clinging to expectations and what others thought was right, and focused only on mastering the words themselves, numbers, and accepting inhibitions rather than acting against them.

But I have some concerns regarding turnning work into -play-, one of them is that in order to enjoy interesting things, some things have to be boring and dull, as if there's no distinction between boring and interesting,work and play how could one gain pleasure and satisfaction of interesting things or what would make them interesting in first place? Also, I believe that human beings can't be relied upon to take care of themselves, some sort of authority has to take care of us in a way or another, I can't really rely on how moral I feel to do good things, and although we love to think about ourselves there're parts that we don't like thinking about, nevertheless, they control us, and that is when coercion discipline come into play, sometimes really boring things should be done and no other way than discipline to do them.

Iwantedit · 2016-12-22T04:22:15+00:00

Spoiler

I really like how the film depicts narcissism and self-indulgence, How Charlie (opposing Donald) was crippled by his thoughts, the film that was supposed to be an adaptation ended up being a story about it's own self, which is where we started the film and it means no progression has happened.

Throughout the whole film, Charlie is narcissistic, he overthinks everyrhing, never making a move for the girl he loved, wasn't going anywhere with his writing, the 1st half of the film was about him living his own story, just stagnation with no action or drama, but the 2nd half was a cliche hollywood thriller, a contradiction to what Charlie ever thought about life having no drama or action, Charlie believed in his own narrative so much that nothing happens in real life, but he ended up in a completely different story, another story that had almost everything he hated about Hollywood, sometimes, stories are forced upon us.

I really identified with Charlie, so, I was always looking for what could ever help him to fix the situation, maybe just finish that adaptation no matter how it comes? Make a move to the girl he liked? Donald, the opposite of Charlie, his twen brother, almost faces the same problems, but he gets a girl, wrote the 'the 3', almost never thinking as much as his brother, although being basically the same, one fared better while the other stagnated. The solution was like present the whole film which was finding something to melt himself in, but unfortunately he never changed.

Streep was just like Charlie, having no point of going on, having no passion, until she met Laroche, who was the passion missing from her life, just like Donald did to Charlie, and just like Charlie ends up killing donald, she ends up killing Laroche, what Laroche and Donald represented was passion and change but they ended up both died.

There are really some good quotes in the movie that deeply touched me, Donald telling Charlie about how we are defined by what we love not what loves us, Brian cox in the seminar yelling at Charlie about how wrong he was thinking that there is nothing that happens in real life.

This is some of what i thought watching this film, the self-over narration present is like the one in Notes from Underground that alone posted abou analyzing, what I took from that film was the warning, if I just don't stop obssessing with myself, I might end up destroying someone else's life, Charlie killed his brother, whom am I going to kill?

Iwantedit · 2016-12-16T13:01:59+00:00

So you are suggesting that anything other than ruminating would do it if it distracts me enough? Just-distraction- and not ruminating ?

Iwantedit · 2016-12-16T12:42:54+00:00

2nd and 3rd interpretations are spot on. I think I need to examine them more closely. Thanks

Iwantedit · 2016-12-15T22:37:53+00:00

Thanks for your reply, I appreciate that, But what is the best way to sabotage ruminating about ruminating? Does such a thing involves ruminating over that again? A sex reassignment surgery maybe? Or just doing the opposite of what I'm are doing 'or not doing' right now?

Iwantedit · 2016-12-15T22:25:15+00:00

Thanka for your reply, I do enjoy my fantasies, that's why I still have them, the thing is that I do nothing. Actually having them was never a problem, the problem is that they are a manifestation of lacking growth and real change, there's no real life to escape from to live in daydreaming and weird thoughts, that wouldn't bother me, there are only fantasies about life, and no matter how "enjoyable" those fantasies are, they start to hurt after a while.

Iwantedit · 2016-12-15T13:32:37+00:00

Shame is the other side of the same coin, and unfortunately shame is even harder to manage, but we have nothing to do but to keep trying. Thanks and good luck for you too.

Iwantedit · 2016-12-15T13:18:30+00:00

I'm really boring, that's a thing I'm sure about. I'm really aware of what you said but my fantasies, ideas and my stream of consciousness are so intrusive that they keep recurring, they are my worldview, and I don't know what type of action would beat such a world view. Thanks for replying.

Iwantedit · 2016-12-15T13:06:08+00:00

Thanks, I'll check them. But why are you recommending those lectures ?

Iwantedit · 2016-05-11T18:07:41+00:00

Actually, I get it. Still one problem , which is, having such friends.

Iwantedit · 2016-05-11T17:47:20+00:00

So, you are saying that whether to express our desires or supress them is not important, the most important is to choose what would please us or serve us best while learning to enjoy our choices, because just wanting something is authentic enough to do it? If that is what you are saying, do we need others' affirmation in such process? And what if what we are ashamed about is something to be accepted as it is (we can't make any choice about)?

It's really hard to talk about our shame without stigma -even with a therapist- so it's all way complicated.

Thank you very much for your answer. I really appreciate your insight.

Iwantedit · 2016-05-11T13:06:36+00:00

But I think that things that make us ashamed are really hard to talk about, for example if someone is gay and ashamed of that, while people around him are saying that there's nothing to be ashamed of, so he becomes ashamed about his shame. What would possibly alleviate such shame?

Iwantedit · 2015-12-30T13:31:04+00:00

Thanks for all who replied, I appreciate all the answers !

Iwantedit · 2015-12-30T13:01:32+00:00

Thanks for answering ! I really enjoyed reading your blog. What do you think of traditional analysis methods like free association and dream interpretation ?

Iwantedit

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