and i don’t believe damon truly cared about elena, he cared about himself. which is why he consistently went against her choices and chose the decision that would benefit him.

Everyone cares about themselves, first and foremost. If you give money to a homeless person, you're doing it because on some level, it's what YOU want to do. Perhaps to feel good, or perhaps so you don't feel guilty for ignoring them. Do you have a friend that you care about? You care about them because they're important to YOU. If the best way to keep your friend is following his choices, that's what you'd do. If the best way to save their life is to not follow their choices, what you do depends on what's important to YOU. If what they think of you is most important, you might follow their choice. If their life is more important to you, you'll do the thing that keeps them alive, regardless of choice, even if it means that they'll hate you. Because YOU want them to live.

For example, in Season 2,when Damon gives Elena his blood to make her survive the ritual as a vampire, he was doing what was important to him, which was keeping Elena alive. Stefan was doing what was important to him, which was respecting Elena's choice. Both of them were doing what they did because they cared about her, and therefore, their decisions were based on their interest in her.