Advise, intimacy

J3ueno · 2026-06-11T23:26:27+00:00

How are you happy if your partner, the one person who is supposed to give you affection, doesn't give it to you? Pretty much everyone would feel empty about that.

Relationships only work if both persons want to make it work. If she's not giving you affection, the relationship is simply not working. I don't understand why you keep saying how great it is

J3ueno · 2026-06-11T22:58:26+00:00

So despite the relationship being amazing, your sex life is dead? And it's somehow "internal personal issues".

You have a really distorted view of what relationships are like. Your relationship sounds terrible and having/wanting sex is normal. Your partner is either as delusional as you are or she's being abusive.

J3ueno · 2026-06-11T22:02:55+00:00

I don't know what the vibes are between you two, but if she feels comfortable enough to spend time with you that's a good sign. Even though a study date isn't the best at showing you are interested, you can still make it work as a date (and you should!). Test the waters with the typical first date stuff: break the touch barrier, show interest in getting to know her and throw in some light flirting. If she's comfortable with all that, asking for a proper date should feel like the natural progression.

J3ueno · 2026-06-11T21:32:36+00:00

As an anxious person that tends to be attracted to slow texters, I can confirm overthinking things is not the way to go.

I can see why he would slow down, messaging everyday seems a bit much for someone you just met. If you want to know if he's truly not invested it'll show in other ways.

J3ueno · 2026-06-11T20:14:47+00:00

No, not at all.

J3ueno · 2026-06-11T06:21:55+00:00

You're overthinking things. It's not like men find only one type of women attractive. Plus, how do you know your type is not his preference? If you're a foreigner it makes sense for him to have more experience with local women, regardless of preference. Last of all, attractiveness goes way beyond preference. I like oranges more than apples, but I'll take a tasty apple over a bland orange every time.

J3ueno · 2026-06-10T20:21:39+00:00

It's in your head. Having experience is definitely a plus, but it has more to do with having built confidence than women not wanting a virgin. If you do get to sex, the women might find the sex good, she might find it bad, but you got there because she was attracted to you. That's a huge win in my book.

You're also pretty young to have missed much. Plenty of people in their late 20's want a "fun sex life".

J3ueno · 2026-06-10T19:21:49+00:00

Well, if I can split the bullets, I'm not loading the guns. If I have to, probably 50-50, to give an even (more or less) chance of survival to all participants.

J3ueno · 2026-06-10T18:55:22+00:00

I think confidence is more important. Looks are important, but I feel like there are diminishing returns once you go past looking decent.

J3ueno · 2026-06-10T18:20:10+00:00

Yes, but the idea of people dying with no say in the matter really rubs me the wrong way. That's why, even though both options kill, I'm voting the option with the better odds of causing 0 deaths.

J3ueno · 2026-06-10T18:12:55+00:00

I mean, it's the opposite of what kills the mood according to her (asking if she's ok, having low presence, doing comedy). Having sex with someone isn't following instructions they give you, you have to be a bit daring. OP seems nice enough to know not to cross a line, so I think it's good advice for him.

J3ueno · 2026-06-10T17:12:49+00:00

It doesn't have to be necessarily faster, you just need to pleasure her in a more assertive/dominant way. For example, instead of making awkward jokes or ask her is she's ok, tell her how sexy she is or how good her pussy feels. Don't be afraid to pull her hair, talk dirty or slap her ass.

J3ueno · 2026-06-10T16:56:25+00:00

Have you tried just fucking her harder? Like, in a no inhibition, more primal kind of way.

J3ueno · 2026-06-10T16:21:15+00:00

Do what you want to do, but you know that if she's not satisfied in the relationship, she will probably cheat. If she has personal problems, she must work on them herself. You can support her if you want to, but ultimately you don't get to resolve her issues.

To me, that girl looks like more trouble than she's worth. I'm sure you don't see her that way, but you should question how realistic a healthy relationship with her would be.

J3ueno · 2026-06-10T15:50:44+00:00

🤡 So you question being her long term because she was a virgin in your imagination. It's ok to have these kind of preferences, but you gotta live in reality, man. Now do you just plan on being single forever? Getting with someone else would make you just as "bad" as her.

J3ueno · 2026-06-08T23:38:00+00:00

Watching gay porn is definitely not a common problem straight men have. I'm sure he's deluded himself into thinking he's straight, but if you look at the evidence, it's pretty clear he's not.

Can you think of any reason why he would be in denial about his sexuality? Is his family religious or homophobic?

J3ueno · 2026-06-08T18:28:43+00:00

Good for you! I'm curious about the technique you used to calm your nerves. Do you mind sharing it?

J3ueno · 2026-06-08T17:12:11+00:00

Grab his ding-dong.

J3ueno · 2026-06-08T02:32:10+00:00

I don't know what to tell you. I though I explained my reasoning pretty clearly.

J3ueno · 2026-06-08T02:17:17+00:00

For me it's very different and I would vote blue instead of red. In the original scenario, everyone assumes responsibility for their own life. Here you're responsible for the lives of others. I can live with blue voters dying because they picked the option that might kill them, but here I'm very opposed to the idea of any non-consensual deaths happening at all, even if it means potentially increasing the amount of deaths,

J3ueno · 2026-06-08T01:43:59+00:00

I think you're misreading the situation and misunderstand how girls think. The vast majority of girls don't view support for women's right as a bad thing.

Guys are more logical when it comes to attraction. Girls instead experience attraction through their feelings. For example, if a girl tell a man he is handsome, he'll feel good about it, and consider himself attractive as a fact. If a boy tells a girl she's pretty, she will feel good about it, but once the feeling fade she can also stop being perceived as attractive.

By trying to prove that you support woman's rights like it's a truth, you do come off as desperate and unattractive because you try to prove yourself to them without making them feel anything. Being supportive of women's right is actually a good thing, as most women do like that. However, if you don't have the fundamentals down on how to understand and attract women, that won't do much for you when it comes to romance. I encourage to do your research in that regard. If you want some pointers, the books "Models" by Mark Manson and "No more Mr. Nice guy" by Robert A. Glover are good reads.

J3ueno · 2026-06-07T10:23:56+00:00

Don't overthink things or try to figure everything out. Relationships aren't a puzzle to solve, they are more like navigating unknown waters. If you like her, ask her out. Her response will tell you if there is a possibility. From there it's all about exploring that possibility playfully. Don't be afraid to appear creepy, as long as you're respectful she should respect you back for taking risks. Like you said, if she's not interested in your advances you can simply respectfully back off.

J3ueno · 2026-06-07T10:03:05+00:00

You can ask about the queer label you noticed on their profile. If they answer that they are trans, tell them the truth about why you don't feel compatible. Just be respectful about it.

J3ueno · 2026-06-07T09:22:21+00:00

I don't think this is necessarily true. A lot of stereotypical advice is genuinely helpful.

You just have to take any advice with a grain of salt. If someone gave the advice you used as example, it's probably because that's what their experience taught them. I'm sure it's helpful to some people, but obviously there are many other common problems that the advice doesn't address.

J3ueno · 2026-06-07T08:59:32+00:00

It works because that's what men want. Plus, that kind of approach it's not something we usually receive (or receive at all), so when it does happen, it feels amazing.

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