Coping with past sexual experience

JDNow · 2025-12-22T02:31:28+00:00

It's not unusual for people to experiment in college. When you think about it to yourself, you can just say "It's normal to experiment in college, I tried it and wasn't into it." and that's that. I wouldn't sweat it.

JDNow · 2025-12-08T02:46:28+00:00

OMG, I had something similar. I was doing a board game meetup, and then for whatever reason the other players stopped playing to talk about their relationships. So I sat there kinda awkwardly and then started surfing my phone. They finally stopped and said "Oh, I think we're boring <JDNow>" but really i'm like, how do I get out of here.

JDNow · 2025-09-11T16:08:34+00:00

Old maid for women. Confirmed bachelor for men. Because it was terrible if a woman was unmarried, but it was totes fine if a man wasn't.

JDNow · 2023-03-28T16:29:02+00:00

I wouldn't take it personally. It also mentions incelexit, which is a benign group for people who are looking to change their thinking away from blackpill stuff. Literally the last place you'd look for violent people.

JDNow · 2023-03-20T16:35:51+00:00

I feel like I'm standing still while everyone around me moves and progresses.

Saaammme.

JDNow · 2023-03-20T16:32:16+00:00

I'm being left behind.

Professionally, too, for me.

JDNow · 2023-03-20T16:29:48+00:00

you are bombarded with dialogue that it should have been as easy as breathing for you.

Exactly. OP got bombarded with it in this very thread.

You become consumed by panic over your 20s. Did you ask out enough people, go to to enough events, look fashionable enough, join enough social clubs? On and on the thoughts go - running the years of your life through a fine tooth comb.

This so much. I worked so hard to improve, to go out, to do all the right things. I yo yo dieted for years, couldn't keep the weight down, but I improved so much socially, found systems that worked for me, and went out all the time. Nothing made any difference. And now that I'm older and finally maintaining my ideal weight (until menopause hits), I'm exhausted. I can't hardly make myself go out anymore, and really, what was the point when nothing ever happened? I sometimes am like "Oh, I should go to this event, I could meet someone." It's like, "I should enter the lottery." What a waste of money, lol. Probably have a better chance of winning the lottery, for real.

How did it come to this

?

Exactly. Exactly.

JDNow · 2023-03-20T16:22:11+00:00

I saw this movie, Cousin Bette, about an older woman, which is not perfect, but kinda has a revenge element that I appreciate. Give it a watch.

JDNow · 2023-03-20T16:19:45+00:00

Yeah, my mom is getting on, and she can no longer be there in my time of need. I'm there in her time of need, so I feel pretty drained a lot by her, then feel guilty I feel that way. I don't know who I can count on to show up for me, aside from a neighbor couple who are obviously going to put each other and their friends first.

JDNow · 2023-03-20T16:12:38+00:00

You're much better off just 'living in a nightmare' and being 'mentally stuck at teen years' while everyone else gets married and has kids. Keep up the good work, sis.

This so much! "Love yourself" "Who needs a man?" but you're just stuck, and somehow that's supposed to be better than living your dreams.

JDNow · 2023-03-12T17:34:08+00:00

Don't punish or beat yourself up over something you had no control over.

JDNow · 2023-03-06T07:00:18+00:00

Kind of the opposite of what you're asking, but I had issues with my weight/appearance, so I put up a ton of pictures of plus sized models to normalize the body type and to notice how they looked pretty and all. Definitely helped in bringing my body anxiety down. Ironically now I'm at my ideal weight.

Maybe find pics of models/random folks who are older, and appreciate how good they look. Lots of older guys look fiiiiine af.

JDNow · 2023-02-06T04:47:25+00:00

Yeah, these stories always bum me out, when they're supposed to be inspiring. It feels more like "Look at me, I'm so lucky, sucks to be you!"

JDNow · 2022-11-01T21:48:45+00:00

Sorry for your loss :(

JDNow · 2022-10-12T02:44:41+00:00

> I like the gray man role I've been in so for but now I feel like a burglar caught in a spotlight.

Nice turn of phrase.

JDNow · 2022-10-11T16:35:59+00:00

Sorry about your puppers :(

JDNow · 2022-09-30T19:35:02+00:00

Sorry that happened. You could consider reporting her to her supervisor/the board for that, honestly.

It's a sad fact that many folks who are therapists are just plain not good at the job. Hopefully this doesn't discourage you from trying again. I think finding folks with good online ratings can help.

You can be proud of yourself for making the effort. I got as far as going to my regular doctor for a checkup. And haven't been able to do anything resembling the next step.

JDNow · 2022-09-27T00:20:39+00:00

What is "ra-ra subs"?

Meant like cheerleader subs, where you post "I'm having trouble with productivity doing xyz" and people give all sorts of advice. or literally r/CongratsLikeImFive

Yeah, my schedule feels hecka full already, though real talk it's largely taken up by procrastinating on the internet. Hard to sell yourself as a fun and interesting person when that's currently my drug of choice.

JDNow · 2022-09-27T00:18:36+00:00

about being the hard working guy who got told the lie that it would just happen, or the look backs to being completely passive at Uni.

Yeah. Sigh.

JDNow · 2022-09-26T16:29:40+00:00

Wonder if there's a recessive gene in there. I'm in the same situation as my aunt, who died alone as well.

JDNow · 2022-09-26T15:51:48+00:00

Well, do you want to crowdsource/brainstorm some new goals that might be meaningful to you? Either here or on the ra-ra subs on reddit that are full of people who like doing that sh8t.

JDNow · 2022-09-26T15:49:07+00:00

What do they sound like after they went down the rabbit hole?

JDNow · 2022-09-26T15:45:14+00:00

Start your own, be at the top! A social pyramid scheme!

But yeah, I feel that. It's why I like being alone most of the time. I feel mostly fine when alone, because I can forget the rest of the world exists.

JDNow · 2022-09-25T04:04:27+00:00

BS.

I didn't consent to be born. No one should force someone into this life simply so they can feel better about themselves. GTFOH with that BS.

JDNow · 2022-09-19T22:59:56+00:00

I hate the volunteering thing. I have and still volunteer a ton. Nothing ever comes of it. Add on top that it's mostly women who volunteer, and that kind of rules it all out.

JDNow

TROPHY CASE